Confessing feelings for a long time crush

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2011 10:20 PM GMT
    I had a crush on a guy for over 2 years. Just a casual acquaintance. Even before my ex... so one day I was like, "Fuck it. I have nothing to lose."

    Eventually I fumbled upon the words while even doing the kick dirt movement and "itching" the back of my scalp. I smiled, my voice cracked... but eventually I just let it go.
    Good news, the feeling is no longer as strong and he played it off well.
    Bad news, nothing will most likely come of it.

    Either way, I'm proud of myself.

    Ever muster up words of admiration you were hesitant to do?
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    May 07, 2011 10:32 PM GMT
    I faced one of those moments, where I pined and longed for someone I knew I couldn't have (the stupid age old dilemma of oh I thought you were gay but I guess you're not). Our friendship was already severely strained, and I considered ah fuck it, I'll just confess everything. I knew nothing would come of it, it was entirely for me, and it would have been the coup de grĂ¢ce on our already fleeting friendship.

    Which is exactly why I didn't do it. Because it would have been entirely for me. And I cared too much for him to do that to him.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 08, 2011 12:22 AM GMT
    Well, all I can say is this: There is a guy online here that I consider to be the ultimate man.....the perfect guy....the guy that I would do absolutely anything..and I mean anything for....however....he won't even give me the time of day....20.gif
  • Cuchullain

    Posts: 64

    May 08, 2011 1:01 AM GMT
    It's 13:01
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    May 08, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    For all but one year of my adult life, I've been in management or leadership roles. I have encountered men who I find extremely attractive on the physical, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional levels...and with whom any kind of intimate relationship would have been "poor judgement". Because of this, I've learned to "turn off" my sex drive. Sadly, I've learned how to turn it off so well that I now find it challenging if not impossible to connect with men anymore.

    And, even if "he" is unencumbered by any kind of moral or ethical prohibition, unless "he" makes the move, it won't happen. At 46, I don't want to come across as a creep. So, again, unless "he" makes the first move...I'm just a decoration. icon_cry.gif
  • justinlee86

    Posts: 501

    May 08, 2011 1:37 AM GMT
    Good job!!!

    and I have never been able to!!!
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    May 08, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    Good job. It's really not easy, have trouble with it all the time. Hang in there!
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    May 08, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidFor all but one year of my adult life, I've been in management or leadership roles. I have encountered men who I find extremely attractive on the physical, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional levels...and with whom any kind of intimate relationship would have been "poor judgement". Because of this, I've learned to "turn off" my sex drive. Sadly, I've learned how to turn it off so well that I now find it challenging if not impossible to connect with men anymore.

    And, even if "he" is unencumbered by any kind of moral or ethical prohibition, unless "he" makes the move, it won't happen. At 46, I don't want to come across as a creep. So, again, unless "he" makes the first move...I'm just a decoration. icon_cry.gif


    Aww. You shouldn't resolve to never make the first move. I think there are many possible connections that never happen because both parties take up this stance.
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    May 08, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    Ejay311 said
    GAMRican saidFor all but one year of my adult life, I've been in management or leadership roles. I have encountered men who I find extremely attractive on the physical, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional levels...and with whom any kind of intimate relationship would have been "poor judgement". Because of this, I've learned to "turn off" my sex drive. Sadly, I've learned how to turn it off so well that I now find it challenging if not impossible to connect with men anymore.

    And, even if "he" is unencumbered by any kind of moral or ethical prohibition, unless "he" makes the move, it won't happen. At 46, I don't want to come across as a creep. So, again, unless "he" makes the first move...I'm just a decoration. icon_cry.gif


    Aww. You shouldn't resolve to never make the first move. I think there are many possible connections that never happen because both parties take up this stance.



    I agree completely. So many relationships never start because both parties are (for whatever reason) too reluctant to make the first move.
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    May 08, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    So funny that I read this because this literally just happened to me-

    I wish you the best in this situation because I know how the heart longs for certain things and certain people and how it hurts when you don't get that or get the response you wish...I feel for you dude. I hope you found it to be worth the risk and in the end have learned something from this. icon_smile.gif
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    May 08, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    Ejay311 said

    Aww. You shouldn't resolve to never make the first move. I think there are many possible connections that never happen because both parties take up this stance.


    I agree with this more and more. I used to be petrified to make the first move, even if it was just to say someone was cute...but life is too short and you never know what the other person is thinking.
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    May 08, 2011 2:00 AM GMT
    malefeet saidWell, all I can say is this: There is a guy online here that I consider to be the ultimate man.....the perfect guy....the guy that I would do absolutely anything..and I mean anything for....however....he won't even give me the time of day....20.gif


    icon_sad.gif you're such a nice guy- I hope he comes around icon_biggrin.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 08, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    dude, i am so happy for you. i am not being sarcastic either. i am really proud of you. i am sorry the feelings were not returned but don't you feel better now
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    May 08, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    Nope. Never made a first move in my life. Never expressed interest in anyone until they showed interest in me either. I guess I'm shy?
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    May 08, 2011 11:49 AM GMT
    FearTheFall saidNope. Never made a first move in my life. Never expressed interest in anyone until they showed interest in me either. I guess I'm shy?


    Lol, you're oddly sweet sometimes, you cruise you lose.
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    May 08, 2011 12:33 PM GMT
    Good for you. Unless you open yourself up to rejection first, you can never connect with another person. In other words, gotta crack some eggs to make an omelet. Hugs.
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    May 08, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidNope. Never made a first move in my life. Never expressed interest in anyone until they showed interest in me either. I guess I'm shy?


    I'm generally the same way but I'm getting over it. And it is because I'm shy. But what you're describing could be described as stand-offish.

    Every now and then, it makes sense to make the first move. Even if it's to tell someone you think they're cute. Ultimately, it doesn't have to lead anywhere but it could help start something new...
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    May 08, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    He didn't suck yer dick? Shame on him! icon_razz.gif
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    May 08, 2011 12:41 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidHe didn't suck yer dick? Shame on him! icon_razz.gif


    Hmm, there should be a rule. "I'm interested.". Sigh, "Well, ok, unzip your pants then." icon_wink.gif
  • baldone

    Posts: 826

    May 08, 2011 12:43 PM GMT
    malefeet saidWell, all I can say is this: There is a guy online here that I consider to be the ultimate man.....the perfect guy....the guy that I would do absolutely anything..and I mean anything for....however....he won't even give me the time of day....20.gif
    Yyou dear sir are on of the best of the best....i hope he wakes up and realizes!!!
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    May 08, 2011 12:45 PM GMT
    showme said
    paulflexes saidHe didn't suck yer dick? Shame on him! icon_razz.gif


    Hmm, there should be a rule. "I'm interested.". Sigh, "Well, ok, unzip your pants then." icon_wink.gif
    Fuck MOTD...I'm voting for you in 2012 for President. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 08, 2011 12:49 PM GMT
    I did this once at the age of 21 with an old school 'friend' who I had gotten really close to over after a period of a year or so (which intensified a little crush into something a lot stronger).

    It was more for my mind-sake than anything else as I couldn't think of anything but him and the intense feelings I had re him, and I thought if I just said it and put it on the table it might alleviate the feeling/obsession. It did in a way. He took it OK.

    However, it later turned out he was a grade A cunt in the disguise of a genuinely nice guy, so, I later truly regretted giving somebody the satisfaction of having some kind of psuedo 'power hold' over me, emotionally (especially as I never usually let people get close enough to the 'core me' to do so; kick in the teeth. Learning experience).

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    May 10, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    justinlee86 saidGood job!!!

    and I have never been able to!!!


    Smile and say Hi.

    I've only been in Denver for about 4.5 months. And traveling a bit during then as well. When I do go out, I meet new people. A friend that I sometimes go out with has been here over 3 years and he never talks to people, greets others, and barely knows anyone.

    He sees me doing it, and the success. Dance partners. It's fun. I want to go out and have a good time and not be a wall flower.

    Justin, your attractive, smile, say hi. Guys possibly are intimidated by you and you should say hello. Break the ice. Be cheesy, laugh at yourself. Just dont spill a drink on them!

    I'm currently in Milan Italy right now and the people here smile, say bongourno, etc, ...

    Cheerio
    B
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    May 10, 2011 10:39 PM GMT
    Really impressed! I would never have dared...
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    May 10, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    FearTheFall saidNope. Never made a first move in my life. Never expressed interest in anyone until they showed interest in me either. I guess I'm shy?


    You cruise, you lose.