Does my gym buddy like me?

  • GayDude83

    Posts: 7

    May 08, 2011 4:00 AM GMT
    First post here guys-so go easy on me. Also, please know that Rob83 is the biggest critic of Rob83. I don't want to sound conceited in any way. I'm not!

    Key thing to note: I don't know this guy REALLY well so I certainly have not disabused him of the notion I am straight. In order to not be a creep, is it my moral obligation to tell him at the earliest opportunity that I'm gay so I don't create a friendsip based on a false impression?

    OK, I'm turning 28 next week and I just made a bud at the gym a month or so ago. His name is Brandan. He's 26. I'm Rob. He's 10/10 gorgeous and an incredibly sweet guy. He started waiting up for me at our bus stop. We met each other because we both take the same bus every day to the Aquatic Center to work out. We're both studs and good looking uys

    I made the 1st move a month or so ago. I said "Hey man weren't we on the same bus together?" At first he was kind of shy and muttered "yep" but then he really warmed up to me. Ever since then, he's made an effort to say hi to me as often as he can, he waits for me at the Aquatic center so that we could walk in together every time we can, he always fist bumps me, he calls me buddy and bro and today the first thing he said to me was he "just broke up with his girlfriend" and now he has "all summer free". He told me this after inviting me to get off the bus with him at the same stop today. Oh yeah, he even asked me where I was yesterday and said he missed me. I had to workicon_sad.gif

    The only issue is that one time I made a comment about his age and he was all like "yeah I used to lie about my age to say I was younger with girls and now I tell them I'm older." So, the comment about girls kind of threw me off. But, that certainly doesn't mean he's not a least bi or bi-curious. I could take it as a "I really like you bud but not that way" subtle message. He never mentoned it again though.

    He talks to me right away if we are both in the pool that is also in the gym at the same time and we talk basically every chance we get.

    His FB relationship status is single/male. It doesn't say interested in women though which is a good sign. However, my neighbour is getting married next year and his FB status doesn't say interested in women either. So, that means nothing.

    The thing is that I would die if he and I became boyfriends but I want him as my buddy more than a BF. I need more buddies. I don't want to risk blowing a good friendship up, especially since we just met, over something as minor as sexual orientation. I don't want to lose this chance though if he is gay and finds someone else. How should I go about this? Should I just invite him to actually hang out with me and then if the gay thing is going to happen, it'll happen then? Or should I tell him? I thought about changing my FB interested in to "men" and making it so only he can see. Should I do that? How do I know he's just not lonely and wanting a friend though?

    So, how do I proceed with this guy and make him by BF if I can before its too late but also just be good buddies with him if he's straight as an arrow and just wants another guy in his life. That's what I want more than a BF as well.

    Is his behavior the way you act around your buddies or is it friendlier than necessary? Can't wait for your thought on this. He is so hot.

    P.S.: He hit on this hot girl on the bus yesterday in exactly the same fashion that he is friendly to me. It makes me suspect he's bi? However, he had a hot date with a hot chick tonight, Saturday, so maybe he just thinks I rock and is not into me sexually? Why did he use his game that he uses with girls on me though?
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    May 09, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Honestly, It seems like everyone is Bi nowadays. I say don't overanalyze everything, just enjoy his friendship for now. Get to know him and in due time he will show you how he feels about you. You may very well be his first man crush and it's a little hard for him to handle it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    Bottom line: Tell him you are gay and then you find out what kind of person he really is.
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    May 09, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    Just fuck the shit out of him and move on.
    It's the gay way. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    I know!

    Setup a time to hangout with him outside of the gym.

    Send him a text after it is over and tell him that you enjoyed the date and would be interested in going out with him again.

    If he responds with a yes then that means he is gay and you are good to go.

    If he says no and freaks out just tell him that it is too late to back off now because you gave him the gay.

    Its a win-win situation.
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    May 09, 2011 4:15 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidJust fuck the shit out of him and move on.
    It's the gay way. icon_cool.gif


    Paul!!!! (As GAMRican smiles while kicking paulflexes in the shins under the table)

    (GAMRican turns attention back to Rob)

    Rob, dear, just enjoy the friendship and see what, if anything, develops. Maybe a weekend road trip / camping trip up to Banff will help you to get to know Brandan better and determine if he feels any attraction to you, or if it's just friendship. Bring some beer along for when you make camp. If you two are into the "B.C. Bud", bring some of that along as well. Bring a tent that is large enough to accommodate two people, but small enough to make it intimate. Make sure you pack rubbers and lube (just in case).
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    May 09, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    I think he acts that way because he's also not sure if you're gay. Who knows, maybe he's posting an identical story on some other gay forum?
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    May 09, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    It sounds like you're only a couple years older, but maybe he likes the attention he gets from an older guy.
    The next time you're in the shower with him get a little wood going and see how he reacts.
    I wouldnt get a full boner, it might freak him out if he's str8.
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    May 09, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    He is not gay. Don't read too much into his actions because they mean nothing more than a friendship. There are alot of guys who get very buddy-buddy quickly, and it does not mean they are gay. I've had many guys tell me that they missed me on a given day and it had nothing to do with being gay.

    Just play it friendly and don't force anything. If you do only want him as a buddy, then proceed and nurture the friendship. But if your true motive is to get in his pants, then either move on without him, or tell him you're gay then see if he's accepting of you (and, maybe, if he's bi after all).

    Many gay guys mistake friendliness for sexual interest (much the same way straight people do, too, frankly). Don't make the same mistake.
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    May 09, 2011 6:45 AM GMT
    You know something, its better to cultivate a solid friendship...BUT, may I suggest that one of these days (perhaps a hang out?) that because the of both of you are at ease with one another , that you should disclose your orientation. Its the only way to be sure whether he's an accepting fella or not. If he is and straight then bond as buddies....You can tease him that you Have/had a crush on him but nothing forlorn. Now if he's bi then you could try out a date.

    After the date you can see how you to stand with one another.

    Best of luck!
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    May 09, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    It also sounds like you are reading soooo much into a friendship. Just carry on hanging out with him, let the friendship develop and blossom and when the time comes and feels right, come out to him.
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    May 09, 2011 6:54 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidHe is not gay. Don't read too much into his actions because they mean nothing more than a friendship. There are alot of guys who get very buddy-buddy quickly, and it does not mean they are gay. I've had many guys tell me that they missed me on a given day and it had nothing to do with being gay.

    Just play it friendly and don't force anything. If you do only want him as a buddy, then proceed and nurture the friendship. But if your true motive is to get in his pants, then either move on without him, or tell him you're gay then see if he's accepting of you (and, maybe, if he's bi after all).

    Many gay guys mistake friendliness for sexual interest (much the same way straight people do, too, frankly). Don't make the same mistake.


    lots of truth to this post. I have experienced the same thing.
    I have had a case where it is because I did not come off as gay to them so they DID NOT think I was gay and approached me as if I was into females.
    (we became buds)... but everytime they said "don't you think she is hot!" I would say "oh yea of course."

    LOL... talk about in the closet...

    but that was two years ago... now it is different.

    luckily they were accpeting when they found out I was gay.
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    May 09, 2011 7:30 AM GMT
    My advice:

    "Yo bro check it, I was at subway picking up some grub and there was this guy with a hot blonde hoochie, 5'10, 36 DD, long skinny legs.. and ya know she's all into him. They must have just met though, cuz the guy, you know clean shaven, good looking, walks over and starts hitting on me! gave me his number, it was cute. The girl started crying though."

    So the stories ridiculous but just act a bit and sell it, or something similar.

    Read his reaction during the story.

    From this you should be able to determine if he is straight and homophobic, straight and cool, straight and willing, bisexual, or gay and in the closet.

    And depending on his reaction you can play the gay part up or down, as the story tells no indication of your own sexuality.

    It also serves the purpose in that if he is gay, he's still a man. Men want what other men want, plain and simple. If he knows other guys are out there hitting on you, well, monkey see monkey do.

    When you've got him on the hook, don't reel him in too fast or you'll loose him. Sure you can sleep with him right away, or you can make him walk over mountains first. Which is more fun??
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    May 09, 2011 8:12 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidHe is not gay. Don't read too much into his actions because they mean nothing more than a friendship. There are alot of guys who get very buddy-buddy quickly, and it does not mean they are gay. I've had many guys tell me that they missed me on a given day and it had nothing to do with being gay.

    Just play it friendly and don't force anything. If you do only want him as a buddy, then proceed and nurture the friendship. But if your true motive is to get in his pants, then either move on without him, or tell him you're gay then see if he's accepting of you (and, maybe, if he's bi after all).

    Many gay guys mistake friendliness for sexual interest (much the same way straight people do, too, frankly). Don't make the same mistake.


    This answer is the winner. Just enjoy making a new friend and don't worry about the sex and sexuality.