Im not perfect, but im perfect for you....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 11:40 AM GMT
    Being recently single, poz & stuck in the bible belt had left me for no hope of meeting someone. So I'll go online just to make friends & flirt & whatever happens happens, usually nothing cuz everyone interested is so dam far away....until now.

    I have to admit im a little scared to death. Ive met an incredible man from what I know of him so far. We actually met on a sex site but neither of us looking for a hookup. We messaged, then texted and then spoke on the phone for weeks. So he finally came over last night & we spent a little time together.

    He totally & literally swept me off my feet. Kissing me, lifting me up off the ground & holding me for a long time but we didnt have sex & he didnt stay the night, I have to say a true gentleman this man is.

    Hes not my usual type I go out with. I usually end up with the typical rj jock bod black guy type. Which I love. This guy is black, but more of a muscle bear build, strong as hell, thick and could be a bodybuilder if he wanted by looking at & feeling his body.

    I dont mind the muscle bear thickness at all, as a matter of fact I love it! Hes a beautiful man, kisses me so good & is so gentle so far. I disclosed to him my hiv status a long time ago & he hasnt waivered one bit, saying he didnt care & still wanted me which makes me fall for him even more.

    He does have some feminine ways when he talks tho with hand gestures a little ive noticed but waiting to get to know him better before I make any judgements.

    Im scared & excited all at the same time.

    My question is...do you think my attraction for this man is because its something new & will it fade since he isnt usually my "type" of guy I usually go for? Its still too early to tell maybe. He said he wants me, wants to date me & I definitely want to see where it leads to.

    Im not perfect by no means as none of us are, but have u ever dated outside your box of what you normally go for & it lasted?

    Could he & I both not be perfect, but perfect for each other?

    Im thrilled to have found this beautiful genuine strong man that literally lives 5 minutes from me. So im hoping it works out. Any advice?
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    May 08, 2011 12:07 PM GMT
    Best thing is to stay open and neutral to the idea. I'm quick to make judgements and weird rationales that most would find appalling. However, this time around I'm really trying my hardest to stay completely neutral for once and just enjoy myself.

    If you're not enjoying yourself then it's over.
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    May 08, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    Types are just a guideline, but you shouldn't live or die by them.

    You guys sound good together, so I wouldn't over analyze...I'd just go with it. I know that's hard (and I really need to take my own advice), but really, just go with the flow.

    Good luck!!
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    May 08, 2011 1:05 PM GMT
    This is just my personal opinion, but I would say to give him a chance. He obviously respects you and didn't have sex with you after the first meeting; those definitely speak volumes about his character. And, he literally swept you off your feet.

    Keep your wits about you, approach with 'caution' and see what happens.
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    May 08, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    Go with it! From what you posted you seem attracted to him or at a minimum at least interested. He seems to feel the same towards you. He maybe outside your typical box but who knows possibly you were in the wrong box to begin with? Worst case you become friends. As said before enjoy the newness and try not to over analyze it or you will unmistakably destroy it. When you expect the worst it tends to happen
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    May 08, 2011 1:46 PM GMT
    Sounds like your off to a great start. Enjoy the time getting to know him and don't worry about the fact that he's not your "type." I'm happy for you.
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    May 08, 2011 3:16 PM GMT

    Step by step, Redbull. Don't over think this. For now, enjoy the journey without worrying too much about the destination.

    I know that investing in getting to know someone and opening up to them feels risky and that it hurts a lot if you end up parting ways. But you're a super strong guy. And there is more to gain by taking the risk and enjoying the ride than there is to lose.

    I'm very happy for you and your new friend. He's a lucky man !
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    May 08, 2011 3:49 PM GMT
    Like the people above me said- take it step by step, day by day.

    This advice from my mother a few months ago sticks with me whenever I am quick to judge something I DON'T like, rather than all the qualities I do like

    "No one is perfect. Not even you."

    So before you think to yourself about how he's not your type, and not doing this, and not doing that etc... think of all the good things he does for you. He kisses you gently (in a gay world of pounding asses and being dominant that can actually be quite rare), he is 100% aware of your HIV status and he still hasn't left you, hasn't ran off scared- that's a true man, and he treats you like a good person... to start it seems he's doing the right thing.

    Step by step. He'll never be perfect, and neither will you. But together you might be, but that takes a long time to find out icon_smile.gif Best of luck!
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    May 08, 2011 4:04 PM GMT
    Stop thinking about it. Stop analyzing it. Stop being "outside" the experience and be "in" it.

    From the sound of things, you're pretty into him when you are, and that's good. Everything is as long as it is. Somethings are forever, somethings are for now. Stop wondering when the end is coming and just be there. For a long, long time, or for a little while, it won't matter or count if you're constantly on the outside looking in to watch and guess and worry.

    Get on the phone, call him, notice your dick's response (sorry to be crass, but really, take note) and HAVE this, now.

    xo
    r.

    P.S. - lists and types are a VERY good thing to know, so that you don't go hurting people or wasting your time. But lists help us shop, that's all. They don't dictate what we buy or what goes home in the basket. Browsing and impulse buying without knowing what you have in mind ends up in a 'return' 99% of the time, and 1% just something that hangs out and gathers dust. Having a good idea of what you're looking for, and not being too rigid about it, turns up amazing surprises - and sometimes, a downright steal!
    xo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 4:40 PM GMT
    Life's to short, Mr. Redbull... I say have fun!
    It sounds like he's a great guy too!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 8:58 PM GMT
    icon_idea.gificon_cool.gif
    This thread is so exactly this John Cale song:





    I can't help it
    You're perfect for me
    I couldn't care less
    You're perfect for me
    I've been waiting
    You're perfect for me right now.

    In the moment
    You're perfect for me
    I've been waiting
    You're perfect for me
    I'm not perfect
    But you're perfect for me right now.

    I've been waiting for the moment.

    I'm not perfect
    But you're perfect for me
    I couldn't care less
    You're perfect for me
    From a distance
    You're perfect for me right now.

    And I'm sitting next to you
    In a corner of a room
    Getting writers block
    From calling you is all I want to do.

    I can't help it
    But you're perfect for me
    I'm not perfect
    But you're perfect for me
    From a distance
    You're perfect for me right now.

    Its a different kind of love. (repeat)

    I'm not perfect
    But you're perfect for me
    From a distance
    You're perfect for me
    In pyjamas
    You're perfect for me right now.

    It's a different kind of love,
    Perfect for me. (repeat)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2011 12:03 AM GMT
    Just take it slow and see how things develop. It's ok to step out of your comfort zone once in a while. icon_cool.gif