"You have to show an evolutionary advantage for being a top or bottom." No...no...that contains no logic whatsoever.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    What the title says. I find it funny that he tells me I should not ask on the first date what someone's PREFERENCE is but rather assume one is a certain way based on whether or not they have an evolutionary advantage.
    /facepalm

    In my eyes that way of thinking is skewed... you should do something because you LOVE it. It is better to ask than to place a label on someone (IN MY OPINION).

    So discuss... which route do YOU think is more suitable and why?

    a) To ask the person and get it out of the way off the first date.
    b) To place a label and find out they are not what you assumed them to be.
    or
    c) niether a) or b)
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    May 08, 2011 6:15 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidWhat the title says. I find it funny that he tells me I should not ask on the first date what someone's PREFERENCE is but rather assume one is a certain way based on whether or not they have an evolutionary advantage.
    /facepalm



    I hope you pointed out the logical error regarding evolution & anal sex.
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    Jul 11, 2011 8:15 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidWhat the title says. I find it funny that he tells me I should not ask on the first date what someone's PREFERENCE is but rather assume one is a certain way based on whether or not they have an evolutionary advantage.
    /facepalm

    In my eyes that way of thinking is skewed... you should do something because you LOVE it. It is better to ask than to place a label on someone (IN MY OPINION).

    So discuss... which route do YOU think is more suitable and why?

    a) To ask the person and get it out of the way off the first date.
    b) To place a label and find out they are not what you assumed them to be.
    or
    c) niether a) or b)

    I think it's best to get the preferences thing out of the way within the first week or two, if only so as to get the lay-o'-the-land (NO pun intended...lol)

    And kew1 is, of course, quite correct that evolutionary-adaptive selection doesn't (cetainly not directly, anyway...) come into play at ALL with homosexual anal sex. So whoever thought this little "thing" (that we're discussing here) is definitely a pseudo-intellectual numbskull...icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 11, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    Neither. Some things are not first date discussion material. Unless it's the first and only date.
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    Jul 11, 2011 8:38 PM GMT
    I like the surprised look in his eyes...icon_eek.gif
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    Jul 11, 2011 8:45 PM GMT
    Evolutionary advantage of being a top: duh.

    Evolutionary advantage of being a bottom: less constipation. icon_lol.gif

    But seriously, sexual gratification in itself has an evolutionary advantage, regardless of how you get it. Same question as to why men has nipples.
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    Jul 12, 2011 4:46 AM GMT
    I just make the assumption that if they are interested in me then they will enjoy bottoming 90% of the time and will be willing to top once in a blue moon when the mood strikes.
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    Jul 12, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    i study guy's behaviors when on a date, usually im spot on their preference.. but ask anyways later on in the near future.
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    Jul 14, 2011 7:07 AM GMT
    q1w2e3 saidEvolutionary advantage of being a top: duh.

    Evolutionary advantage of being a bottom: less constipation. icon_lol.gif

    But seriously, sexual gratification in itself has an evolutionary advantage, regardless of how you get it. Same question as to why men has nipples.


    you don't understand my point... both of you have dicks... both of you have assholes. Therefore, logically speaking, both of you are capable of being the giver and the receiver.

    Therefore what should determine the role you take on is your personal preference.

    A person with a nice ass should not be assumed to be the bottom and a person with a big dick should not be assumed to be the top. When two people are meeting up, they should openly discuss their roles... or the person with the big dick may be assumed to be the top when he could be the bottom and the person with the nice ass may be the top in actuality.

    As I have not been exposed to the club/bar dating route I cannot say if this is in fact what actually happens or not, but what I can say is that people would get into conflicts if they hold this evolutionary advantage mentality.
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    Jul 14, 2011 8:53 AM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidAs I have not been exposed to the club/bar dating route I cannot say if this is in fact what actually happens or not, but what I can say is that people would get into conflicts if they hold this evolutionary advantage mentality.

    having been exposed to the "club/bar" scene and done lots of "dating" I can tell you that about 45% are bottoms only, 40% are tops who bottom only behind closed doors and will ALWAYS drag you home and close the door, 5% are tops and the other 10% are bottoms after a few beers and can admit to what they really want.
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    Jul 14, 2011 3:26 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidc) niether a) or b)


    Honestly, I think people worry about this way too much. It should always depend on the guy you're dating and what you're both comfortable doing with each other. I don't think it's necessary to label one another top or bottom, or to make it a condition of establishing a meaningful relationship with someone. I also think it can change from relationship to relationship. With some guys you might top, with others you might bottom, maybe you'll do both, or maybe you'll do neither.

    Is it important to talk about? Sure. And yeah, in my experience, it's sometimes better to get this conversation out of the way early, because if you're with a guy who's locked into the concept of playing a certain role, and not willing to discuss what he's comfortable doing with you, it's probably not going to work out.
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    Jul 14, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    Hey, you changed the original post so my reply now makes no sense icon_biggrin.gif
    Welcome back, where were you?