Being Harassed while holding hands, kissing in public. Etc

  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 08, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    I'm getting pretty close to my first real date with a guy. (icon_biggrin.gifWhoo!) He seems really affectionate and he may be interested in kissing me in public. We've talked on the phone and texted so we have an continuing dialogue. I live in Brooklyn and mainly hang out in Manhattan both of which are either gay friendly or at least tolerant. Have any of you ever been harassed while holding hands or kissing in public? Any kind of showing affection really? Without sounding like a hypocrite I'm not so worried so much about what people think as much as my dates and my personal safety.

    Any stories you guys willing to share? icon_neutral.gif
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    May 08, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    I've been verbally harassed just for sitting "too close" to my straight coworkers at the bar.
    They shut the fuck up when I told them that homophobia is just the fear of their own homosexuality...and my coworkers backed me up.
  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 08, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    Stares I'm fine with. (heck I stare a little but for different reasons icon_smile.gif).
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    May 09, 2011 12:01 AM GMT
    M4tt saidStares I'm fine with. (heck I stare a little but for different reasons icon_smile.gif).
    The ones who "only stare" are the ones you need to pay the most attention to.
    If they have a problem, they're the ones who'll be waiting behind a corner as you leave.
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    May 09, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    You're 6' 220lbs and 23yo.

    I don't think it's going to be a problem.

  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 09, 2011 12:17 AM GMT
    White4DarkerFL saidYou're 6' 220lbs and 23yo.

    I don't think it's going to be a problem.



    Im working out but its all fudge now.
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    May 09, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    Not really.

    I was walking with my boyfriend at the time and holding hands. Some rednecks drove by and yelled "fags" then sped off.
    Both of us "fags" were well over 6' tall and fit, so the guys in the car wouldn't have stood a chance against us.
    This is about the closest I came to any kind of harassment, which isn't really anything.
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    May 09, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    ...give them a show, obviously they want one...other then that mind your own business and who cares what they say....
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    May 09, 2011 12:20 AM GMT
    M4tt saidI'm getting pretty close to my first real date with a guy. (icon_biggrin.gifWhoo!) He seems really affectionate and he may be interested in kissing me in public. We've talked on the phone and texted so we have an continuing dialogue. I live in Brooklyn and mainly hang out in Manhattan both of which are either gay friendly or at least tolerant. Have any of you ever been harassed while holding hands or kissing in public? Any kind of showing affection really? Without sounding like a hypocrite I'm not so worried so much about what people think as much as my dates and my personal safety.

    Any stories you guys willing to share? icon_neutral.gif



    Where I live nobody would care if you fucked on the sidewalk. In fact you'd most likely get tips icon_lol.gif But seriously, I've also lived in some VERY rural areas of Alabama and Mississippi and I've never had a problem. I'm a very stubborn person, so anything a straight couple gets away with, you can be sure I'm going to be doing the exact same things. It really boils down to the amount of confidence you do it with. If you act all nervous like you're doing something naughty, people are going to stare. If you just do it naturally, no one is going to give a shit. Just today, walking to and from work, I saw 2 different guy couples holding hands and another couple kissed in the doorway to my shop. The only reason I even remember it happening was I saw this thread. Otherwise I would have already forgotten it even happened.
  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 09, 2011 12:25 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    M4tt saidStares I'm fine with. (heck I stare a little but for different reasons icon_smile.gif).
    The ones who "only stare" are the ones you need to pay the most attention to.
    If they have a problem, they're the ones who'll be waiting behind a corner as you leave.


    I'll keep that in mind thanks I really appreciate that.
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    May 09, 2011 12:29 AM GMT
    Don't worry about it... although making out in public is sloppy.
  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 09, 2011 12:32 AM GMT
    sdgman saidDon't worry about it... although making out in public is sloppy.


    I meant something more along the lines like a kiss good night or a quick peck on the lips.
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    May 09, 2011 12:40 AM GMT
    Was crossing the narrow street that separated the house where I was lodging from the nightclub at the Rainbow Mt. resort (gay/lesbian) in the Poconos this weekend (at night), and a car came speeding by and I heard someone from the car say, "Faggot!"........icon_lol.gif....I couldn't help but laugh to myself.....
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    May 09, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    A group of dumb teenagers snickered and kept looking over at my table when I was out with a guy once in LA.
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    May 09, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    I like to carry a taser in my fanny pack because it really puts me a ease.
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    May 09, 2011 1:03 AM GMT

    I was kissing a guy late at night on a sidewalk in the East Village in Manhattan and a car full of twentysomething faux-thugs from the suburbs pulled up and yelled "FAGS!"
    The guy I was kissing yelled back, "Damn right! Wanna come start something?"
    They looked surprised and sped off. We both yelled "PUSSIES!"
    Then we laughed for about 10 minutes. icon_lol.gif
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    May 09, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    The one time that happened to me, it was three college boys. I was angrier and more belligerent. When I stormed back across the street and demanded to know if I heard what the fuck they said correctly, they apologized and quickly walked off. Sometimes you just have to stand up to them and remind them you have two perfectly good fists, too.
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    May 09, 2011 1:10 AM GMT
    i never had a problem in boston or dc. don't really do the whole public affection thing, but sometimes my partner, who is 6'3 and 200+ pounds of muscle likes to give his man a kiss. If they cannot stop him, why would I ? icon_biggrin.gif
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    May 09, 2011 1:53 AM GMT
    I have, very rarely, encountered anything. I remember once, kissing my husband in at the end of a movie and hearing some mutterings from behind me. I stood and it was a man half my height. His girlfriend smacked him and apologized.

    We go to Gay Days every year, and, sure, you hear the "there are CHILDREN here," like we're some kind of fools, but, folks, all I've ever really done is hold his hand. Not because of urking people, but because HE WANDERS and spends money.

    Never, ever, ever, let those people you do not know dictate how you behave in public--your goal in life is be yourself. You are not here to keep them happy. And if you are stressing over this, well, you're not truly relaxed and in the moment with this great man you met.

    However, straight or gay, public kissing should probably be kept at a minimum...just because enough is enough already. You're not in high school any more.

    Peace!
    Bardy
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    May 09, 2011 2:02 AM GMT
    A1EX saidI like to carry a taser in my fanny pack because it really puts me a ease.
    I carry a .45 That keeps me really at ease! icon_wink.gif
  • M4tt

    Posts: 84

    May 09, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    BardBear saidI have, very rarely, encountered anything. I remember once, kissing my husband in at the end of a movie and hearing some mutterings from behind me. I stood and it was a man half my height. His girlfriend smacked him and apologized.

    We go to Gay Days every year, and, sure, you hear the "there are CHILDREN here," like we're some kind of fools, but, folks, all I've ever really done is hold his hand. Not because of urking people, but because HE WANDERS and spends money.

    Never, ever, ever, let those people you do not know dictate how you behave in public--your goal in life is be yourself. You are not here to keep them happy. And if you are stressing over this, well, you're not truly relaxed and in the moment with this great man you met.

    However, straight or gay, public kissing should probably be kept at a minimum...just because enough is enough already. You're not in high school any more.

    Peace!
    Bardy


    Thanks! I mean kissing in public and hitting first base and heading for 2nd in public are two different things in my book. I don't care what people think of me I just got of the closet and I'm not inclined to go back in so easily. I found someone I really think I click with I'm just interested in keeping us safe from bodily harm.

    I just want to thank everyone for sharing and the words of wisdom.
  • Thirdbeach

    Posts: 1364

    May 09, 2011 2:36 AM GMT
    KissTheSky said
    I was kissing a guy late at night on a sidewalk in the East Village in Manhattan and a car full of twentysomething faux-thugs from the suburbs pulled up and yelled "FAGS!"
    The guy I was kissing yelled back, "Damn right! Wanna come start something?"
    They looked surprised and sped off. icon_lol.gif


    When a similar thing happened to me & an ex here in Vancouver (we were with a group of friends), I yelled back:
    "Wow, nothing gets past you.. Your parents must be distant cousins!"
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    May 09, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    Of course you'll get stares but they're not always bad you know...

    If I see two guys holding hands on the street, of course I'll stare... I'll smile but I'll stare cuz it's still unusual and courageous.

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    May 09, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Don't worry about what other people think of you. Hell, I have to put up with shit similar to that just because of my name.

    I went into a convenience store and the store owner (who happens to be from China) carries out a pleasant conversation with me (we're friends) and right when he says "have a good night Mohammed" the people browsing around all look at me as if I am some fucking terrorist aboutt o blow up a convenience store...

    ... but as for homosexual acts done in public... LOL... who cares what they think?

    Hell, take off your shirt and make out in front of them if they continue to stare.

    icon_razz.gif

    and what everyone else said about "confidence"... yea ... have a lot of that!
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    May 09, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    I don't know manhattan but in boston I see people doing it and they're fine. I guess my word of advice is know what the safety of the neighborhood is.