I Almost Flipped Out on a Co-Worker Today.

  • jkwbb004

    Posts: 191

    May 09, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Ok, so there is this girl that I work with, and she is the Christian Southern innocent girl. She always asks a lot of questions about me being gay, which is fine. Im used to it. She will ask things like "When did you decide to be gay?, or How do you like being gay?". Which are already kinda offensive, but she does not know any better and I know how to approach those kind of questions and answer them respectfully and tell her how to handle gays that are less understanding. Well today, she comes up to me as I am rearranging shoes(yes I work at a clothing store, gay enougfh right?) and she goes "I don't think you are gay". I tell her that I am and know I am. I wouldnt have gone through hell in middle school if I didnt think I was. I laughed and she said she had only met one other gay person and he was very fem. I dont act fem, I am pretty masculine and many people either have to know me or ask to know that I am. I told her I have a boyfriend and Im particularly fond of getting it up the ass. She laughed and walked away, but I was like damn bitch if I was a different person I would have cussed you out or just slapped you.

    Anyways my question to you guys is how would you have handled the situation, and do you ever get those damn curious straight people questions?
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    May 09, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    You should be like "well, you could not be a girl."
    and she would go "why?"
    "Do you like barbies/the colour pink/diamonds/being a cheerleader/[insert whatever other stereotypically feminine items or actions here]?" until she says "no."

    Then you say "well then you can't actually be a girl because obviously all girls like [insert whatever it was]"
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    May 09, 2011 5:44 AM GMT
    This is why I don't discuss my personal life with co-workers. icon_lol.gif

    But when someone says to me that I'm the first gay person they've met, I tell them they probably met dozens of gay people in their life. They just didn't know it because not every gay man lives up to the stereotypes that are portrayed on TV.
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    May 09, 2011 5:45 AM GMT
    Anduru saidYou should be like "well, you could not be a girl."
    and she would go "why?"
    "Do you like barbies/the colour pink/diamonds/being a cheerleader/[insert whatever other stereotypically feminine items or actions here]?" until she says "no."

    Then you say "well then you can't actually be a girl because obviously all girls like [insert whatever it was]"


    icon_smile.gif
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    May 09, 2011 6:01 AM GMT
    If someone came up to me and asked me some dumb question I would just put their ass in check.

  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    May 09, 2011 6:02 AM GMT
    Just get down on your knees and suck off the nearest guy.


    That would convince me icon_smile.gif
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    May 09, 2011 6:54 AM GMT
    Aus92 saidJust get down on your knees and suck off the nearest guy.


    That would convince me icon_smile.gif


    Make sure you're sober though or no one will believe you lol
  • Aus92

    Posts: 328

    May 09, 2011 6:57 AM GMT
    Lenoxx said
    Aus92 saidJust get down on your knees and suck off the nearest guy.


    That would convince me icon_smile.gif


    Make sure you're sober though or no one will believe you lol


    Hush you icon_razz.gif
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    May 09, 2011 7:40 AM GMT
    I think she was paying you a backhanded compliment. She stereotypes gays as flame-queens who sashay about and no other. The fact that you admitted that you don't act fem, you even bolstered her perception of how gays act and you're not "one of them".

    HOWEVER, since you want bitch-slap her, I think she'll change her mind and catagorize you as "those gays". Your call.
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    May 09, 2011 7:45 AM GMT
    she's fag hag in the making. Ask her to go get your coffee
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    May 09, 2011 8:37 AM GMT
    Aww she sounds cute and clueless. Give the girl a break and teach her as much as you can about us icon_lol.gif I also think shes a fag hag in the making!
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    May 09, 2011 11:15 AM GMT
    jkwbb004 saidOk, so there is this girl that I work with, and she is the Christian Southern innocent girl.
    I hired a girl like that a few years ago, and swore she was probably just using the Christianity thing as a cover up for being a huge slut. Turns out I was right...she ended up fucking almost every guy at work. icon_lol.gif
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    May 09, 2011 11:22 AM GMT
    Yeah, don't discuss personal life with coworkers...its just too complicated to have gossip flying through the office. Well it was kinda of uncalled for especially if you were offended. This could be discrimination on orientation or sexual harrassment. Just tell her it bothers you when she asks detail questions...
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    May 09, 2011 11:31 AM GMT
    Agree with Xrichx. I don't like to share my personal with co-workers either.
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    May 09, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    jkwbb004 saidOk, so there is this girl that I work with, and she is the Christian Southern innocent girl.
    I hired a girl like that a few years ago, and swore she was probably just using the Christianity thing as a cover up for being a huge slut. Turns out I was right...she ended up fucking almost every guy at work. icon_lol.gif
    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gificon_eek.gif .......HUH???????? W.O.W icon_eek.gif
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    May 09, 2011 12:08 PM GMT
    jkwbb004 saidOk, so there is this girl that I work with, and she is the Christian Southern innocent girl. She always asks a lot of questions about me being gay, which is fine. Im used to it. She will ask things like "When did you decide to be gay?, or How do you like being gay?". Which are already kinda offensive, but she does not know any better and I know how to approach those kind of questions and answer them respectfully and tell her how to handle gays that are less understanding. Well today, she comes up to me as I am rearranging shoes(yes I work at a clothing store, gay enougfh right?) and she goes "I don't think you are gay". I tell her that I am and know I am. I wouldnt have gone through hell in middle school if I didnt think I was. I laughed and she said she had only met one other gay person and he was very fem. I dont act fem, I am pretty masculine and many people either have to know me or ask to know that I am. I told her I have a boyfriend and Im particularly fond of getting it up the ass. She laughed and walked away, but I was like damn bitch if I was a different person I would have cussed you out or just slapped you.

    Anyways my question to you guys is how would you have handled the situation, and do you ever get those damn curious straight people questions?



    Being same-sex attracted and having a scat fetish are completely unrelated.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 09, 2011 12:25 PM GMT
    I would avoid the drama with this insensitive woman or anybody else with my personal life while I'm working.
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    May 09, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    Just smack the B.. she would really know you are gay then.

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    May 09, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    Ignore the ignorant person. You can't change her but you can walk away. When the time is right find a place to live that is more open minded. Does not hurt to ask God, "Dear God, please save me from your followers!"
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 09, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    xrichx saidThis is why I don't discuss my personal life with co-workers...



    yes, me also. just because they spend 8 to 12 hours a day next to you at work; some co-workers think that the time spent "together" gives them the right to ask you very personal, private, intimate questions.


    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    May 09, 2011 2:48 PM GMT
    jkwbb004 saidI told her I have a boyfriend and Im particularly fond of getting it up the ass.
    Anyways my question to you guys is how would you have handled the situation, and do you ever get those damn curious straight people questions?



    I would have handled it completely differently. She obviously seems curious about gayness and, who knows, maybe she is even questioning her own sexuality. This was an opportunity to perhaps enlighten someone and even change her perception of homosexuals. Your "I told her I have a boyfriend and Im particularly fond of getting it up the ass" played into the stereotype that many straight people have about gay people --- that being that "gay" is all about "sex". Regardless, the whole conversation was probably inappropriate at work, and she did violate your personal space by continually harping at you about it.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    May 09, 2011 2:54 PM GMT
    PE_Teacher saidIgnore the ignorant person. You can't change her but you can walk away.



    I disagree. I really think you can change people's ignorant perception of homosexuals, but "I enjoy getting it up the ass" is hardly the right approach.
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    May 09, 2011 2:57 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ said Regardless, the whole conversation was probably inappropriate at work, and she did violate your personal space by continually harping at you about it.


    Agreed. In the modern (US, at least) workplace, her raising these issues with you is completely inappropriate. Assuming that you work for a largish company, you could probably report her to HR, and there are probably established procedures for doing so. (Assuming you don't work for the odd anti-gay company, which still do exist - for example, Chick-fil-a - but most large US companies have adopted pretty liberal nondiscrimination policies.)
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 09, 2011 3:15 PM GMT
    Why not say "Let's talk about this some other time." and then make sure there is no other time?

    I was raised, in what is probably an old-fashioned way, to understand that other people;s personal lives were theirs alone and none of my business.

    These days we seem to have gotten work and social life all combined. Actually, with most employers demanding something that is like allegiance at all times, it is easy to assume that one has no life away from the workplace. There certainly is not much time allotted for it.

    The young lady needs to understand that bedrooms and religion are private matters and that she is being vey rude by pressing such matters.
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    May 09, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    Unless you feel her intention is to harass you, I'd handle her with the patience one shows a naive child and go about my day. I draw a line at describing the detailed mechanics of gay sex, but I have no problem being a representative of the gay community in my workplace if someone asks.