This might be obvious but...

  • buzzman182004

    Posts: 76

    May 10, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    I have a bit of a conundrum. Here's the problem: I recently had an old friend of mine friend request me on facebook, whom I haven't talked to in about 8 years. Now I accepted the request and here's comes my dilemma, so when I get a friend request anymore I'll accept, but that's usually the last I hear from them unless I send them a message. So I've decided (for the past several years) that I'm gonna let them make the first move to see who is truly interested in reconnecting. Of course I want to reconnect cause this past friend I have known since we were 2/3 years old, and during that time we were best friends. He was the brother I never had (I'm an only child) and we used to do everything together. Then one day I found out that his mom moved the family without letting myself or my family know, and left no way of contact.

    They moved to (as far as I'm aware) Iowa, and since then I have not been able to find him. But then his mom left her current husband (didn't want to leave his elderly father) behind and I asked if there was a way to get in touch with him. Later on he produced a cell number for me, and I tried calling and left messages but never got a return call. Then one day I found out that he was in a motorcycle accident and in the hospital (this will tell you how much I cared about him) and I didn't know which one he was in (but found out that he was living in the Detroit area) so I took it upon myself to call all the hospitals in the city (you know how many freakin' there are! lol) and I eventually found him. But when I was put through, I ended up talking to his gf and she said that he had finally fallen asleep after not being able to for a couple of days, so I asked her to please give him my number and that I'd like to talk to him when he's able. Never heard from him again, and last time I tried to call that number, it was no longer working (or someone else had it, can't remember anymore).

    Sorry about this being so long but I wanted to give a bit of a back story, and my question is should I try to send a message to him (even though like I said I usually don't) or wait to see if he wants to re-establish contact? I'd appreciate your thoughts fellas!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 10, 2011 4:47 AM GMT
    He recently friend requested you on Facebook ?
    What are you waiting for ?
    Of course, send a message to him.

    All the rest of that is irrelevant.
    If he was in the hospital after a motorcycle accident, he was probably medicated and not his usual self.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    What have you got to lose? Sounds like there's a whole lot more to gain if you guys reconnect!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    Of course you should send him a message , and ask for his phone number so you can give him a ring ....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 10, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Let bygones be bygones... everyone has dark periods....

    Seriously, what if he never contacted you because he felt guilty about the move away? What if he never contacted you because he was angry that you didnt write him and he doesn't know that his mom never told you where they were. What if his mom told him untruths about you because she sensed you were gay and she wanted to break it off because she was intolerant.

    There a million reasons why you should contact him and only one reason you shouldn't. Go ahead. If he doesn't respond you will always know you were the bigger man.