Why do some gay men tend to develop emotional attachments on the first date?

  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 11, 2011 1:51 AM GMT
    Scorpius-5th-outfit.jpg

    Any thoughts or ideas...? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    I don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.
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    May 11, 2011 2:12 AM GMT
    Does "Love at first sight" ring a bell? It's probably just infatuation, but still a pretty strong feeling.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 11, 2011 2:13 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidI don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.


    Oh, I agree....however..I think gay men are the worst...icon_wink.gif
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    May 11, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    I love the shirt.

    Limerence.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 11, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidI love the shirt.

    Limerence.


    Ya know, I agree....icon_cool.gif
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    May 11, 2011 2:19 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    deltalimen saidI don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.


    Oh, I agree....however..I think gay men are the worst...icon_wink.gif


    nah, lesbians move in together after the third date. We aint so bad.
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    May 11, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    One1313 said
    malefeet said
    deltalimen saidI don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.


    Oh, I agree....however..I think gay men are the worst...icon_wink.gif


    nah, lesbians move in together after the third date. We aint so bad.


    BUT lesbians have that circle where they all swap girlfriends. So at least they know what each other tastes like beforehand.
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    May 11, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    One1313 said
    malefeet said
    deltalimen saidI don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.


    Oh, I agree....however..I think gay men are the worst...icon_wink.gif


    nah, lesbians move in together after the third date. We aint so bad.
    I moved in with my first boyfriend the same day we met. icon_lol.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 11, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    One1313 said
    malefeet said
    deltalimen saidI don't think it's just gay men. Girls do it too.


    Oh, I agree....however..I think gay men are the worst...icon_wink.gif


    nah, lesbians move in together after the third date. We aint so bad.
    I moved in with my first boyfriend the same day we met. icon_lol.gif


    Yeah, but you're so hot...who could resist you?...105.gif
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    May 11, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    ^love
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    May 11, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    Why do some gay men tend to develop emotional attachments on the first date?

    I dunno why, but I sure did once, 6 years ago. It wasn't returned. Actually I spoke with him on the phone Sunday night, and NOW he seems to have developed a crush on me.

    Well, too late. I've got a partner now, and I don't cheat, and I don't revisit old flames. He had his chance, he passed it up, he needs to look elsewhere.

    But yeah, sometimes I've been a first-date guy, and I don't know why. Perhaps because I flatter myself for being a good read of other guys. And if I read you as being for me, I don't beat around the bush about it. I'm very direct, I don't play games nor hesitate.

    But I also discovered that sudden directness sometimes spooks other guys, so I became a little more patient & subtle in my approach. I learned to stalk my prey, and develop them. I have a partner now, and hope I'll never have to apply this method again. But it's worked for me before, and perhaps would for you, too.
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    May 11, 2011 2:46 AM GMT
    Some men lack emotional forms of love and therefore LOOK for it in others and try to develop that sense of emotional connection.
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    May 11, 2011 2:47 AM GMT
    For me it is a combination of (a) being perpetually single, (b) hating being single, (c) ZOMG SOMEONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME, and (d) not thinking I can do any better since I generally go about eight months or so from "bad date"/hurt feelings to feeling like I should jump in the deep end of the pool again.

    As Paul's post above indicates ... it is not inherently a bad thing to feel some sort of attachment on the first date. Sometimes the good stuff happens - why question it if it feels right?
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    May 11, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    I want to take my first dates somewhere where I can keep them forever =)

    502149420_ddbcc6824a.jpg
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    May 11, 2011 5:05 AM GMT
    There may be thoughts running like "Yes, i am a love fool, but i will not let him see me for fear being rated as desperate""I'm a little tensed, but i am ok""There he comes""Wow! he is very individualistic""Yes, this is the one i have been waiting to meet""I should invite him for a second date and make him more feel more special""he smiled great when i shared jokes""He has got my number, so he might call me""I will send him a Good night message and no i don't expect anything""yes, i am waiting for his Good night message"
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    May 11, 2011 6:34 AM GMT
    It depends I guess. Some guys like to go all in, if the other part is receptive to the emotion through reciprocity then a beautiful relationship might come out of that. Im that kind of guy and Ive been hurt because of that, same way you might end up hurting others after realizing that you went too fast and the relationship really doesnt work. You just have to learn how to move on.

    Unless we are talking about a guy who could potentially become a stalker then I dont see the problem with being "needy".
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    May 11, 2011 6:38 AM GMT
    cold said

    So I gotta be down wit the Hood team?


    Shit yo, I'm gangsta and you know it!
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    May 11, 2011 1:39 PM GMT
    cold saidGays don't get as many opportunities to knowingly interact with potential lovers, so when we do meet someone it feel special?


    i think that's it. it's like going to dinner when you've been starving for days. it can be irrational and impossible to eat what you should. you can eat yourself sick.
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    May 11, 2011 1:51 PM GMT
    What has the shirt to do with the question?

    It's a funny question too, firstly all PEOPLE have the potential to develop feelings on the first date,

    but more importantly, they should be applauded for it, at least they have the balls to show their feelings and not play games.
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    May 12, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    yea feelings can develop in either direction, romantic... or man, someone stop the car and let me out of this date!
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    May 12, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    I've been there before. But I've learned that showing those emotions/feelings so early is like showing your hand while playing a game of cards. It's just strategically inept. But then again, like one person said it might work out to your advantage.

    On a more emotional level, I think people fall victim to this because they might be lonely, or in my case, they see ALL the perfect traits that this one person is showing on the first date and blind to everything else. However, slowly but surely one becomes aware of the not-so-perfect traits that this person also possesses. Which kills the infatuation buzz and brings on the blueprints for an exit strategy...in some cases.