Thinking about coming out of the closet?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    For the longest time I thought being closeted was the best answer so that way I avoid ridicule. However now I'm thinking the opposite. I'm So tired of having to wake up everyday and pretend to be someone I am not and having to go along with jokes with my friends like "oh yeah Megan Fox is hot" or make up lies like "Oh I'm single because I have too much school work." it's getting so old I just wanna be me and let my guard down. The only setback is I live in a conservative small town where everyone seems homophobe...

    any ideas on what you think I should do?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 2:32 PM GMT
    Hey FunCollegeDude

    I came out about two months ago on March 12th... I too was sick of all the lying so i was talking to my mother and she was like "why don't you have a girlfriend?...blah blah blah... girlfriend this... girlfriend that" I just couldn't stand it and told her!

    It was one of the best things I have done! I felt so free. I was so scared before I told her I thought she would reject me and my life would end... but in fact i blew it way out of proportion by 100x

    2 months later I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.... i have found a guy and have been dating him for about a month now and its awesome! my mom accepts me for who I am and I talk to her about him and she is happy for me.

    It all started falling in place after I came out... so my advice is just do it! its 100x worse in your mind then in reality....


    Good Luck!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 2:59 PM GMT
    Gotta agree with the above post! It gets old pretending you are something your not. Will everyone embrace the real you probably not at first and if they dont then they never really were true friends to begin with. We tend to think worse than it actually tends to turn out. Most people who care about you only want you to be happy straight or gay. I say go for it! Life is too short to have regrets and you can always log on and vent if you need it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 3:13 PM GMT
    Yeah. Pretending is the hardest part. That is when you start to think"Why am i pretending" "What are my feelings" "Why am i being fake""Why can't i express my view of life""When am i going to be myself and enjoy life"

    All this being said, family becomes more important to us gays as you can always look back to see them standing tall just for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 11, 2011 4:46 PM GMT
    You don't have to put an ad in the paper.
    Start by telling one of your really close friends who you think is most supportive.
    If you really don't feel support in your small town, prepare to move somewhere more accepting. You live in Connecticut, one of the better states as far as gay rights go.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    May 11, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    How's about you jsut be yourself? Don't worry about an exact date. Don't worry about other people. Just be yourself. And then, when it comes up, just be honest? Just give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they know already.

    You'll have much less stress. And when they say, "do you have a girlfriend?"

    "Boyfriend," and just keep talking.

    You'll be great!

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2011 12:37 AM GMT
    I kinda went about it in phases. First I just stopped saying stuff like "omg yeah that girl is so hot!" and I started just listening to those conversations all my friends would have rather than participate. I wouldn't talk about girls at all anymore. Then I eventually came out to them. My lady friends were first of course and we honestly might be even closer now than before.

    Honestly dude, I don't know how your friends are, but if you have true friends, they aren't going to care that you are gay. My friends have been AMAZING so far and its been very liberating.

    I have one more guy to tell who is my closest guy friend and then all my friends will know. Acquaintances or not-that-close friends that I see once in a blue moon will hear through the grape vine and we can talk about it once they find out if they want, I am not worried about them. There is the chance that this guy will be a little weirded out at first and might need a little time to let it sink in, but I know our friendship is strong and we will be ok after a while, if not immediately.

    Oh and I live in a small suburban town in bible belt Georgia. So you don't have to live in a super liberal area to be able to come out.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 12, 2011 12:55 AM GMT
    BardBear saidHow's about you jsut be yourself? Don't worry about an exact date. Don't worry about other people. Just be yourself. And then, when it comes up, just be honest? Just give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they know already.

    You'll have much less stress. And when they say, "do you have a girlfriend?"

    "Boyfriend," and just keep talking.

    You'll be great!

    Peace,
    Bardy
    dude, that is the best advice i have ever heard anyone on here give for coming out. i wish, i was near you. i would give you a hug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2011 12:57 AM GMT
    Plain and simple be confident in yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 12, 2011 4:03 AM GMT
    BardBear saidHow's about you jsut be yourself? Don't worry about an exact date. Don't worry about other people. Just be yourself. And then, when it comes up, just be honest? Just give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they know already.

    You'll have much less stress. And when they say, "do you have a girlfriend?"

    "Boyfriend," and just keep talking.

    You'll be great!

    Peace,
    Bardy


    ha adore you for thisicon_smile.gif