Outsourcing your dating life... no seriously.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2011 10:37 PM GMT
    So i've been single since January, and though i get asked out on a lot of dates, i generally (and perhaps arrogantly) find most people are not at the level of intellect that I desire. I tend to be quite engaging and curious, and i find most people dry and banal. So, .. I joined a few sites, plentyoffish (which is nerd central), and manhunt (which is desperado central) and something else which I cannot remember. A few friends wanted me to meet their friends, .. disastrous.

    My friend, a PR exec decided to take on a project.. she registered www.youshoulddatehim.com (it's not yet active) and go on elance.com and use these virtual assistants to take care of my whole dating life. She is going to provide them what i look for, guys i tend to like (pics and such) and other items, and then i don't have to deal with the bullshit of online sites and such, since i rarely meet guys at gay clubs (as i rarely go)

    Is this crazy? I think it's actually kind of interesting..
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    May 13, 2011 10:39 PM GMT
    Why wouldnt we work again
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    May 14, 2011 12:19 AM GMT
    Its all good on paper, but I think it is making dating become more of a business transaction. Dating isn't supposed to be something we go about like we are buying a house. I am not knocking you for thinking about trying this, because it all sounds good. But if you really think about it, I wonder if it is taking too much of the fun and not-so-fun parts of dating out and making it dry and emotionless.
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    May 14, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    KSUOWL saidIts all good on paper, but I think it is making dating become more of a business transaction. Dating isn't supposed to be something we go about like we are buying a house. I am not knocking you for thinking about trying this, because it all sounds good. But if you really think about it, I wonder if it is taking too much of the fun and not-so-fun parts of dating out and making it dry and emotionless.


    Bingo.
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    May 14, 2011 1:23 AM GMT
    It also makes you sound very arrogant, as though you are saying "I don't want to waste my time on you in case you're a dud, so just talk to my assistant instead".
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    May 14, 2011 1:41 AM GMT
    I think you're an attractive guy with high standards. Nothing wrong with that, but finding what you are looking for sounds like a time-consuming venture you are trying to skip. If the journey is half the fun, why skip it?
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    May 14, 2011 1:50 AM GMT
    It's not crazy, meeting a good guy Is crazy frustrating. I haven't gone so far as pulling the Tim ferriss style outsource your life thing, but I've certainly let people suggest changes, set me up, etc. This is just a couple of steps beyond that. The trouble is that it removes the personal or human element from the equation.

    I think that is what the other commenters are concerned about here. Or that you're putting the onus on the other guy to prove himself here, but really how are you proving yourself to him? Match, ok cupid or other compatability rating sites make the match both ways thats the difference. Doesn't the other guy deserve to be treated as though he's a catch too...

    I think there's a huge opportunity here for a service that let's your friends choose potential dates for you, but leaving that negotiation to strangers is a bit further in the future than we are currently ready for.

    All that being said, you sound like an pretty awesome catch.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 2:17 AM GMT
    Sounds like fun!
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    May 14, 2011 2:18 AM GMT
    Kind of seems lazy...sorry man.. if you can't take the time to date and figure it out yourself, do you deserve the guy that you want?
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    May 14, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    Isn't this the second oldest profession in the world? Pimping.
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    May 14, 2011 5:59 AM GMT
    "Shadchen" have been used for millenia.
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    May 14, 2011 6:06 AM GMT
    Unnecessarily complicated!icon_confused.gif
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    May 14, 2011 6:27 AM GMT
    running11 said
    KSUOWL saidIts all good on paper, but I think it is making dating become more of a business transaction. Dating isn't supposed to be something we go about like we are buying a house. I am not knocking you for thinking about trying this, because it all sounds good. But if you really think about it, I wonder if it is taking too much of the fun and not-so-fun parts of dating out and making it dry and emotionless.


    Bingo.


    Seconded.
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    May 14, 2011 10:40 AM GMT
    Then your date is only going to be as good as your assistants knowledge of you. What if she skips someone over that you think is an interesting person?

    She/he can't possibly know every person that peaks your interest for a date..
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    May 14, 2011 10:57 AM GMT
    the concept is interesting. However thats just another surreal way of meeting people. Getting matched up seems too forced and unnatural.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 11:43 AM GMT
    This is what happens when you apply intellectual rigour to the dating game. Successful dating is an art, not a science.
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    May 14, 2011 11:51 AM GMT
    If you feel that the best way is to outsource and let someone match make for you, then by all means go ahead.

    Some posters have their valid points in regards to the hurdles of outsourcing dating sites. However if you're pretty secured that you can better find a match through those channels, then be ready for misses and missed opportunities with someone who make not have been a perfect match but could have enriched your life.

    What you say about yourself about being a 'catch' maybe true...But bare in mind that we all have flaws including yourself. If you want someone to stimulate your mind , then accept the fact that your potential suitor has faults in something else.

    Remember somethings look better on paper than actuality.

    Good hunting to ya!
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    May 14, 2011 11:59 AM GMT
    is pimping a subject in PR courses? sounds crazy enough but it lacks the real deal in finding dates.
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    May 14, 2011 12:07 PM GMT
    How's about just taking a break and being yourself. Doing what you like to do, being who you want to be and seeing what's around you to begin with? You never know, there could be the most awesome dude just twenty feet away from you--and you missed him because you are hanging around the computer.

    Remove the stress. So you're not dating. Oh well. Are you still living? Go that direction.

    There are no accidents.

    Peace out,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 12:20 PM GMT
    Making a true connection with someone can't be reduced to totalling up points on a checklist. It happens only when the chemistry is right. It's something you feel, not something somebody else can calculate for you.

  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    May 14, 2011 12:27 PM GMT
    Nifty idea.
    And you're from Toronto too i see.
    Perhaps I should try the same..icon_smile.gif
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    May 14, 2011 2:34 PM GMT
    More power to you. Whose to say what you should and should not do. If it works for you, then do it!
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    May 14, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    Seems to me that it takes the romance and spontaneity out of the equation almost from the get-go --- then what?
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    May 14, 2011 3:38 PM GMT
    "If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"

    -Rumi


    I don't think it matters where or how you look, you are feeding an insatiable beast (your ego), rather than looking for love. Until you figure that out, your search will only strengthen those things within you that are keeping love away.

    Dating isn't always the best, but regardless of chemistry, I think of the person across from me as someone looking for the exact same thing as me (someone to love) and I feel compassion and well wishes. The last thing I am thinking is that they are wasting my time or worth insulting. If you are attracting the same "dry, banal" guys time after time, the problem my be you.
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    May 14, 2011 3:58 PM GMT
    I agree with MNrunner2003.

    I'd also add that if your friends don't know you well enough to find you someone suitable, how do expect a someone who doesn't know you to come up with a suitable date.