How did your Ex influence your life?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    I'm noticing heaps of animosity towards our Exs on this website. I thought I'd change it up and focus on the positives and how they have influenced us towards a better person. Yes I hate my ex for leaving me after I was madly in love with him but...

    It was because of his motivation and encouragement that I came out to my parents. If it weren't for him I would still be in the closet. He was there for me and took me in when my parents kicked me out of the house after coming out. He made the coming out process 300 times better.

    Before my ex I was very sad and needy. He taught me how to be happy with myself and how to accept others. He taught me how to have good self esteem. To this present day I am alot more more fun, laid back, and social with others. I still have room for improvement in this area but I have grown leaps and bounds and am happy being alone.

    Those two things my Ex influenced me with, and yes I am grateful

    share your stories!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 7:09 PM GMT
    I loved mine with all my heart and he wlll continue to be a part of my life. He taught me how to appreciate life and to enjoy every minute of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2011 7:33 PM GMT
    I learned what I didn't want from both of my past relationships.

    More specifically my last relationship taught me the warning signs of codependency. He taught me how to recognize manipulation, he also taught me trust, and how I can take a fist up my ass.

    I think I'm still learning from my very first partner currently, and it's been six years since we broke up. He's really incredibleicon_smile.gif
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    May 15, 2011 12:24 AM GMT


    My ex-girlfriend, taught me responsibility, and wanting a better quality of life. I hate her with all my soul but she will be remembered.


    My ex-semi-boyfriend taught me how to live life and party =P
    We're still good friends to this day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    He convinced me that coming out was the right thing to do. It was. He's a nice guy. Life circumstances just made it not work out.

    I've been in a relationship with 3 guys now and I am still friends with all of them and talk to them all weekly. They been a great support group.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 15, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    My ex was/is the biggest asshole ever. Nothing good came out from that mistake.
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    May 15, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    AntoNomad saidMy ex was/is the biggest asshole ever. Nothing good came out from that mistake.


    I laughed out loud for this.

    My ex taught me you have to live your standards if you expct your partner to meet those standards.

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    May 15, 2011 1:19 AM GMT
    I can honestly say I've never had a bad boyfriend. There's nothing negative I could really say about any of them. Just some relationships were better than others. I can only claim one that was true love. And yet, I definitely learned something from all of them.

    I think more than anything I learned that I enjoy romance and companionship as anyone else. I always thought I was someone who didn't need anyone else to be happy. While it's true that I do just fine on my own, it was nice to share joy, sadness, anger, and confusion with someone else. I also learned that I have quite a romantic streak because I had no idea that was within me before my first boyfriend icon_biggrin.gif

    I also learned from each break up that time heals most wounds, life goes on, and somebody else enters your life.
  • sevencloud

    Posts: 96

    May 15, 2011 1:39 AM GMT
    My ex taught me so much. I didn't believe in love at first sight before I met him, but after I first laid eyes on him I knew he was the one I wanted to be with.

    He taught me that I have a heart and to say "I love you" out loud to people, because I always felt afraid and awkward to say it, even to my parents.

    He taught me to care about the world and what it means to be a good person. To give not only to charity, but to support things in believe in by actually participating in it.

    He taught me about how ridiculous both the gay and the straight world is and how labels are completely useless and destructive.

    Even to this day I always ask myself what he would do in a situation if I'm stuck or indecisive.

    I consider myself a dark person and to this day I consider him my light that leads me from darkness.

    He's a good guy and I am blessed to have had the time I had with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    i became more mature after my last relationship n i learnt that you can never trust your ex's
  • Abc123456

    Posts: 336

    May 15, 2011 3:32 AM GMT
    Fun...
    Things exes have taught me:

    1) Don't have a wandering eye.

    2) If you have an idea in your head of how a relationship should be, and your current relationship doesn't measure up...it's probably time to move on.

    3) How to spot the difference between someone who has fun, and someone who doesn't know when to stop.

    4) That being in love can be the most amazing and traumatic thing at the same time.

    5) That being concerned about the actions of other people, wont affect the outcome of those actions...and only causes you stress and makes you look nuts...even if you're right about those concerns.

    6) Guys are a dime-a-dozen, don't settle because you're worried "he's the one", there's another "one" out there, you just have to let it happen.

    7) I will never know anyone as good as i know myself.

    icon_cool.gif Fighting all the time is a BIG red flag.

    9) The fastest way to get over someone you love, is to recognize you were in love with the idea of the person, no who the person actually is.

    10) That I think too much.

    I thank my exes for these needed lessons...but I wish they weren't lessons I had to learn in the first place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 3:51 AM GMT
    I think we taught each other a lot of things about ourselves. I can't pinpoint something exactly but I sure as shit could tell you all the things wrong with him ;)

  • timmytwister

    Posts: 169

    May 15, 2011 3:56 AM GMT
    How to recognize signs of drug addiction.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 15, 2011 4:04 AM GMT
    Never get with a drinker or smoker ever again. Those habits are just nasty! I don't like breathing in second hand smoke. That's your lungs that's getting ruined you dumbass (referring to me)!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 4:07 AM GMT
    good bands, new attitudes, memories, a clearer definition of relationship, how to loosen up...how to cook, love, be part of a community


    relationships teach a lot of things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    My ex was a woman and she taught me a lot about understanding, caring, learning. I hope I had some influence on her also, but I know I grew both in the relationship and as a person because of her. And she continues to amaze me with her acceptance of who I am. We're best friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 5:04 AM GMT
    Randy is the ex who with me taught me what it means to really love someone and grow with. For the five years we were together, I learned with him how to stand my ground, how to protect and stand up for him, what communication is and how important it is in a relationship. While I know I will never find another like him, I have this relationship and him to thank for teaching me how to be in a relationship. That was over 20 years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    I learned that we're all crazy in our own way icon_eek.gif and that well to trust my gut more. I learned the value of friendship (since he treated his friends so bad) I started to appreciate the friends I had and well have trouble with that at times I love all my friends and such.
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    May 15, 2011 5:33 AM GMT
    vain_nayias saidI learned that we're all crazy in our own way icon_eek.gif and that well to trust my gut more. I learned the value of friendship (since he treated his friends so bad) I started to appreciate the friends I had and well have trouble with that at times I love all my friends and such.


    This definitely. Guys come and go in life. But best friends are worth keeping around as long as you can.
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    May 15, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    pocketnico said

    This definitely. Guys come and go in life. But best friends are worth keeping around as long as you can.

    OMG I have a forum stalker lol jk icon_razz.gif but yeah I agree with ya
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    May 15, 2011 5:38 AM GMT
    timmytwister saidHow to recognize signs of drug addiction.




    mine taught me how to see when someone is becoming an alcoholic...so similar to drugs...and also how not to be a codependent and the best thing you can do to someone is to let them realize there are consequences for actions and leave.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 5:40 AM GMT
    Ay, it's so discouraging to read how many guys here have had terrible exes! I mean, I can't blame you guys for the hostility. But has anyone had any amicable or undramatic break ups?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 5:43 AM GMT
    pocketnico saidAy, it's so discouraging to read how many guys here have had terrible exes! I mean, I can't blame you guys for the hostility. But has anyone had any amicable or undramatic break ups?

    since I only had one ex I haven't had many great ones... yet
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    Don't get my started on my Ex's. Last guy I dated is still stalking me (he might be reading this:rollicon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 6:15 AM GMT
    What if you've never had an ex?