"Looking for friends" in the profile

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
    I know this is a rhetorical question, but why do guys put this in their profile? It's obvious they're not looking for friends if they don't respond to your email soliciting friendship. I can only think it's because they don't like the way you look. So why does it matter what your "friends" look like? God, gay guys are so lame. Why can't we just be honest? "I'm looking to get laid and I care what you look like" would be more honest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 3:42 AM GMT
    I don't think it's necessarily about sex. It's like the old saying goes..
    Birds of a feather flock together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 8:03 AM GMT
    I'll be your friend.
  • Teqkilla42

    Posts: 338

    May 15, 2011 8:05 AM GMT
    I understand not everyone wants to be friends with everyone, but it DOES bother me when people make their profile sound like they're just looking to talk to anyone who's interested, and then they don't reply. Not always good for the self esteem! ;P
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 8:05 AM GMT
    I dunno if they're not from your area maybe they don't want an online friend or something... or ya maybe they're just as deep as the kiddy pool... as dirty too lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 9:41 AM GMT
    I have thought the same thing. I respond reaching out as a friend "let's do coffee" and no reply. And then I think they just want sex.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 15, 2011 9:44 AM GMT
    You actually expect to find a friend via web site? Really? REALLY?icon_question.gifshock:
  • Avron88

    Posts: 136

    May 15, 2011 9:45 AM GMT
    I would always respond to people no matter what they look like.

    The problem is if the person wants to be my friend but lives in America 5000 miles away from me.......... it's kind of hard to go about meeting them for coffee.

    I understand them asking me questions but i kind of get confused about where to take it from there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 9:51 AM GMT
    My ex used to say he wanted to make new gay friends but they had to be good looking, inshape, hot friends, ugh....why? Honestly thats why my gay friends are just friends because I dont want them or dont find them attractive, lol. Come to find out he was a lying, cheating bastard, imagine that?!

    I have made alot of friends on here but theyre always thousands of miles away. Guys I keep in touch with outside of rj. Ive tried contacting local guys on here just for friendship & no response, really kinda frustrating.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 15, 2011 9:52 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    AntoNomad saidYou actually expect to find a friend via web site? Really? REALLY?icon_question.gifshock:
    Some of my best friends were met on the internet.


    All of my best friends were met in REAL LIFE interaction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 9:55 AM GMT
    sometimes another person's profile summary - you get some indication if you're going to get along with them (e.g. grammar nazi), it's not always based on face value
  • Derek6

    Posts: 18

    May 15, 2011 10:54 AM GMT
    actully,i found my best gay friend at here.icon_biggrin.gif
    I thought the facial expression is not most main, but an essential factor, ,so long as I thought looked passes well.
    i also think how far is no way can become friends, even good friends.
    I don't like someone who talk about "SEX" or "i love you"when first talking.when he say that i will ask "you love me what?do you know me?"
    So I choose friends very cautious.i am looking for friend too, someone who is kind-heated!
    you will find some real friends.....
  • BardBear

    Posts: 533

    May 15, 2011 11:36 AM GMT
    Dude, I'm married. Of course I'm just going to look for friends. I don't need another lover. And I exercise at a gym in my new town--alone. So I'm looking for a training buddy as well.

    Peace,
    Bardy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 11:47 AM GMT
    I'm in the same boat as Bardy - which is probably why I don't get many messages (as I'm not here for sex / don't look buff enough to be associated with).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 11:55 AM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidI dunno if they're not from your area maybe they don't want an online friend or something... or ya maybe they're just as deep as the kiddy pool... as dirty too lol


    Lol although kiddy pools also tend to be very warm from all the pee.

    Anyway I wouldn't worry about people about that ignore you when all you doing is trying to be friends. The fact that they are being deceptive and just plain rude shows they wouldn't make a good friend anyway.
  • Glorfindel

    Posts: 277

    May 15, 2011 12:04 PM GMT
    I've come to think that with guys who say they are "looking for friendship" and don't respond to messages about friendship or messages just striking up a conversation are the shallow guys who want hot friends. And since they don't respond to my messages, then I'm just not attractive enough to be one of their friends.

    I guess they want that entourage of hot people around them to make themselves feel better looking. So in the end, they're probably not people you want to have as friends anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:11 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidI dunno if they're not from your area maybe they don't want an online friend or something... or ya maybe they're just as deep as the kiddy pool... as dirty too lol



    And have been soaking in pee-pee water. You forgot about the pee-pee water.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:13 PM GMT
    Heya miamimasseur-

    I wouldn't give up chatting to guys with whom you are interested in making friends.

    A long time ago, way long time, hehe, I felt that I needed a set of gay "buddies" or friends, platonic ones. I felt that because most of my guy friends were straight and I wanted to get to know other people like me as well, who were gay and had similar interests.

    I found it difficult to find platonic gay friends who liked the same things as me for the. longest. time.

    I had to bark up a few wrong trees to figure out which people were going to be the right ones for me - and make a few mistakes along the way. I tried different groups, a couple of organizations, a gym or two, a sport club, lord knows a couple of bars, and even those friend calling lines (for those over 40, you know what I'm talking about).

    I found a lotta people not really coming from the same place as I. However, along the way, I picked up a bunch of people I wanted to 'carry along' with me until I hit a groove. And, it was worth going through the pains. Making platonic gay friends for me was tremendously difficult and painful. Especially because for most men in my age group, there weren't opportunities for us to learn how to relate to one another in a platonic way growing up, I feel.

    Some of my best platonic friends I met by accident and others through my soccer club, phone lines/Internet, and through getting involved in charities that matched my values.

    Now, with regard to chatting up guys here on RealJock or other websites, where guys post a phrase or two about making friends...we all know that some guys really don't mean that. The line can be cover for - "I'm hoping for a hottie to hit me up so I don't have to be rejected by making the first move." Or, perhaps, for some it's the "I'd like to seem cool," line, and while they really, truly would like to meet some friends, they don't either have the time, or energy, or both. For others, I think they put the line in there because they don't know what else to say, really.

    All that said, there *are* people who do want to make friends online, and it does happen, and sometimes it happens organically. In addition to all of the things I wrote about two paragraphs up, I did reach out to guys online to make friends, and I did fail most of the time.

    Nevertheless, for some, it did work, and I'm immensely grateful that it did. And most of them I didn't even try all that hard - it wasn't work. And that's the beauty of some relationships. They just happen when you allow them to - or when they are good matches naturally.

    My sharing all of this to you is my sincere effort to make you aware that you are NOT alone in feeling awkward about some experiences with making gay friends (platonic ones). Second, to offer you some hope that your intentions will be received by the universe and responded to at some point in a favorable way, the way you want.

    Meanwhile, good luck, buddy. Hope things are going well for your otherwise in Miami.

    Perry in Philly
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    One of my closest friends I met online 10 years ago. We didn't actually meet until after 6 years because we lived on opposite sides of the country. Regardless, we talked every day for all those years. To this day, we have only met in person that one time 4 years ago. We click and we understand each other and that's all that seems to matter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    My favorite are the guys who's profiles list their status as being "Monogamous Relationship." They always say "found the man of my dreams, just looking for friends", or some other bullshit like that. Then they immediately want to see my "X pics."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    MiamiMasseur-

    Ok, on the other hand, I just read something in your profile that might be a clue in to those guys that you are hitting up for friends -

    Most of the About Me section item on your profile is about the outward, the external, your interest in a partner, and well, of course you mention your arse.

    I'm guessing from your pics, the arse is looking pretty good. And, you got some beefalicious qualities.

    But, please allow me, my friend, to chide you a little bit for not putting anything in there yourself about meeting friends or, to making your profile visitors aware of that interest.

    C'mon, hehe. Are ya thinking about how your own profile might be landing on them?

    If you had hit me up with the intentions of friendship and I saw your About Me section, I'd think, "Oh, this guy is probably interested in either dating, or sex, or both."

    Do ya know what I mean, brother?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    miamimasseur saidI know this is a rhetorical question, but why do guys put this in their profile?
    Because "friends with benefits" is not on the list of options to check. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:32 PM GMT
    You can be my friend. I could get used to nightly massages!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    RPMSoccer saidMiamiMasseur-

    Ok, on the other hand, I just read something in your profile that might be a clue in to those guys that you are hitting up for friends -

    Most of the About Me section item on your profile is about the outward, the external, your interest in a partner, and well, of course you mention your arse.

    I'm guessing from your pics, the arse is looking pretty good. And, you got some beefalicious qualities.

    But, please allow me, my friend, to chide you a little bit for not putting anything in there yourself about meeting friends or, to making your profile visitors aware of that interest.

    C'mon, hehe. Are ya thinking about how your own profile might be landing on them?

    If you had hit me up with the intentions of friendship and I saw your About Me section, I'd think, "Oh, this guy is probably interested in either dating, or sex, or both."

    Do ya know what I mean, brother?





    LOL. Yeah, the "ass comment" is said tongue-in-cheek. I do have a nice ass but I just put that in my profile when a friend was wondering why I'm single and listing off my qualities and we came up with that as a joke and he encouraged me to put it in my profile. Anyway, I AM interested in dating and a LTR because I'm single but I'm also interested in friends. Maybe even more so since friendships tend to last longer. I always make it clear when I email someone what I'm looking for. I get the hook-up rejections. I just don't get the friendship rejections. I just don't know why people put that in their profile if it's not what they're looking for.

    Oh well. Thanks for all the positive, encouraging comments, guys. I wasn't expecting it. I just posted this to vent in a last straw moment. Guess it comes from living in South Beach for a year and a half where everybody just wants sex and friendships and relationships are very hard to find. At least for me. I'm originally from Texas where friendships were easy to find and sex was hard to find. Now, it's the opposite. icon_biggrin.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 15, 2011 12:40 PM GMT
    Good friendships are pretty awesome and I've certainly developed some good ones here.