Have you ever had a narcissistic straight guy pretend to show interest in you?

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  May 15, 2011 1:40 PM GMT

  Then when you asked him out after a long time of this flirting and courting, because you thought he was gay and because you thought he was interested, he rejects you, and he tells you he's straight, which really shocks and confuses you. The reason he flirted with you for months and months, and focused all of his attention on you was to see if he could get you, and he liked your attention. Has that ever happened to you? And, is that really something a straight guy would do? Seems energies should focused on females and not males. Would you think you were right in thinking that he was gay? Or, if he was straight, is this normal/common behavior for straight guys?

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• alphatop
  
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  May 15, 2011 2:43 PM GMT

  I don't want to bore with the fact, but....as we all know, sexuality can be measured on the scale 100% hetero to 100% homo (including everything in between). The question is where on this scale is that guy. And, yes, it happened to me, more than once. My experience is that those kind of guys like male attention in order to feel better about themselves. He might even make out with you, but don't expect any kind of strings attached. Most of them just experiment, but rarely are ready to commit.

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  May 15, 2011 2:43 PM GMT

  Wow.. What he did was completely wrong. I've had straight guys try that before on me. Even some of my friends have but I've never ask them out or anything. I can usually tell if someone is gay or if they are trying to test the water. Boys will be boys.. I do believe some guys do that because maybe they are curious. They want to see how far they can get.
  
  This guy may be what people say is "Flexisexual"? A person of flexible sexual orientation. Whereas they flirt with and try to attract both sexes, [they refuse] to identify as bisexual.

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• Newbie123
  
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  May 15, 2011 2:54 PM GMT

  just imagine that will you do the same thing to another guy? flirt with him? i don't think so. So it is clear on what to do.

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  May 15, 2011 3:47 PM GMT

  YES THIS HAPPENED TO ME LAST YEAR.

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• tuffguyndc
  
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  May 15, 2011 4:01 PM GMT

  i have never had this happen to me. damn, where you all meeting these guys at?

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• slimnmuscly
  
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  May 15, 2011 5:46 PM GMT

  A lot of straight guys enjoy flirting with gay guys. They may prefer women, but they enjoy the attention in whatever form it takes. But leading you on for months is an asshole move -- and one he may well also pull on women he's not attracted to.
  
  It's also possible he's curious and thought of you as someone he might want to experiment with, but when push came to shove he wasn't ready. Still not cool, obviously. Or he may not have thought you'd ever ask him out and just figured it was harmless flirting.

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  May 15, 2011 5:50 PM GMT

  No, but I've had narcissistic gay guys hitting on me, does that count?

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  May 15, 2011 5:57 PM GMT

  Tazo995 saidNo, but I've had narcissistic gay guys hitting on me, does that count?

  
  Me too...

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  May 15, 2011 6:39 PM GMT

  mayBbignow saidI would touch his crotch and run.....
  Im being serious though

  
  
  hahaha! That would give him a scare and stop him from bugging other people.

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  May 15, 2011 6:57 PM GMT

  mayBbignow saidI would touch his crotch and run.....
  Im being serious though

  
  
  or get him to touch your crotch

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  May 15, 2011 7:54 PM GMT

  This situation happened to me too, but i actually didnt do anything about it.
  I knew he was straight but was an attention whore, so i just ignored him.
  Stupid closet case.

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• Celticmusl
  
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  May 15, 2011 8:05 PM GMT

  It's all so very confusing to us gay innocent guys to be tricked like that by a straighty!

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  May 15, 2011 8:05 PM GMT

  dekiruman saidYES THIS HAPPENED TO ME LAST YEAR.

  
  
  Me too... Although he was acting all gay, he claimed to be straight even after he told me was gay in my own house.. That fucking punk bitch.

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  May 15, 2011 8:40 PM GMT

  I thought he was gay, or closeted at best. I thought I was going crazy when he told me he was straight. But, since I asked him out, he has been homophobic. He was a gym buddy, and I have since left that gym, and have gone to another gym since Jan. which he recently has been going to as well. Why would he going there now? For more attention? I'm sure he could find another naive gay guy at our old gym.

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  May 15, 2011 8:43 PM GMT

  not all straight guys would lead you on like that, and some dont give a damn if you flirt with them it makes them more secure with themselves i think a lot would be flattered if you flirted with them

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  May 15, 2011 9:00 PM GMT

  Most of my friends are straight men. In fact, all of them are. Straight guys flirt with gay guys for several reasons, one, is that they practice their skills on men first before trying them out on women (this coming from straight friends) for another friend its an ego boost to be hit on and flirted with by a gay guy but it doesn't change his sexuality no more than a woman flirting with a gay guy changes his..
  
  Men, gay men, seem to want to read more into this.
  

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  May 15, 2011 9:04 PM GMT

  Flirting with gay guys to practice for women? Oh, nice. How normal and respectful to toy with a person's emotions. You have good friends...classy friends. Good for you.

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  May 15, 2011 9:05 PM GMT

  I have a good bunch of straight friends back in Panama, and they all do the "flirt with Art" thing .... but it's mostly just joking .... We laugh and all.
  
  I think the fact that we're just really close friends makes it all just innocent. We all say "Te Quiero mucho" and "te extraño" ..... is not that they're turning gay .... that's just the way they joke and then show me that they love me and stuff ...

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  May 15, 2011 9:09 PM GMT

  gymrat100 saidFlirting with gay guys to practice for women? Oh, nice. How normal and respectful to toy with a person's emotions. You have good friends...classy friends. Good for you.

  
  
  Hey man don't fucking attack me for the actions of others. There was an article about this in OUT magazine, regarding the same thing (re: straights flirting with gays). Its not an uncommon thing and its not a reflection on me, jackass!
  
  

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  May 15, 2011 9:14 PM GMT

  gymrat100 saidThen when you asked him out after a long time of this flirting and courting, because you thought he was gay and because you thought he was interested, he rejects you, and he tells you he's straight, which really shocks and confuses you. The reason he flirted with you for months and months, and focused all of his attention on you was to see if he could get you, and he liked your attention. ...

  That doesn't mean he's straight.
  That means he's gay, but just not attracted to you.

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  May 15, 2011 9:21 PM GMT

  Okay, well that I accept I guess. But, the whole straight thing and the homophobia I could not. I just felt, how are you straight? It just seemed sociopathic for a straight guy to lead me on the way somebody would if they were genuine about it.

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  May 15, 2011 9:22 PM GMT

  It could be mean anything and only he knows the real motivation behind it. Second guessing will get you nowhere.
  
  Months of flirting is a long time. I was referring to straight guys at the bar flirting with gay guys not a long term flirtation for months and months.
  
  If he says he straight, let it be. Why dissect it? Best advice is to just move on!
  
  But again who doesn't like attention? I love attention from women and men when I go out, especially if the shirt comes off. Am I fucking with anyone's feelings? No.
  
  Although I did have a boyfriend for awhile who swore he wasn't gay. He'd get super pissed if I mentioned he was gay.
  
  He just had not come out yet but the sex was great. He has since come out. Anything could be at work here. But if the guy turned you down, then move it on please, nothing to see here.

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  May 15, 2011 9:30 PM GMT

  Okay no problem. I understand. It's just gay guys are human beings too and pretending to like us where we feel that you are interested but we really are just practice or a game that doesn't show a lot of respect. That's just wrong to me. But, having flirtatious fun in one night is different than showing more than friendly interest for more than six months.
  
  He's at my new gym now, so it looks like he just can't enough.

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  May 15, 2011 9:38 PM GMT

  gymrat100 said
  
  He's at my new gym now, so it looks like he just can't enough.

  
  
  Sounds like you're being the narcissistic one here... which is not uncommon in gay men since we are attracted to our own sex.

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