AIDS Still Kills

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    For those that think that AIDS is no longer a problem in North America, think again.

    I found out yesterday that a male secretary that worked for me in the mid-90's, died of AIDS on Easter weekend. He was in his early 40's.

    To add to the tragedy, I found out yesterday that both of his prior partners had already died of the disease.

    He was an excellent employee, hard-working, organized and a perfectionist. If you are a manager like me you come to appreciate really good administrative staff. They can make your job so much easier.

    Despite the introduction of the powerful anti-HIV medications, some people are still dying. Not all people can tolerate the drugs, and even if they can be tolerated they can have unpleasant side effects.

    Better to play as safe as possible and avoid a lot of headaches.
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    Apr 08, 2008 3:38 PM GMT
    Good advice that can't be spoken often enough. Thanks.
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    Apr 08, 2008 8:48 PM GMT
    It's good to continue to remind people of this. It's really, really frightening the number of guys that you see on places like Craigslist and Manhunt who specifically advertise that they bareback or PnP. I just think to myself "don't you know how fast you're going to get HIV?"

    Thanks for reminding people.
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    Apr 08, 2008 9:13 PM GMT
    Chewey_Delt saidIt's good to continue to remind people of this. It's really, really frightening the number of guys that you see on places like Craigslist and Manhunt who specifically advertise that they bareback or PnP. I just think to myself "don't you know how fast you're going to get HIV?"

    Thanks for reminding people.


    Or scarier yet, how many of those are already infected and don't know it, or are already infected and don't tell. Either is terrifying.
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    Apr 08, 2008 9:22 PM GMT
    Here in Dallas I was shocked to hear two young twinks talking about how much fun they will have at a "Gift" giving party, and how good the Daddy was, I was shocked to find out the Daddy was a spokesperson for the AIDS awareness program here.

    Do not signal out Craigslist or Man hunt they are Honest, if you want BB or PnP your call. Stupid call but that is it. Here on RJ how many people refuse to comment of HIV status or if they Play safe. If those two spaces blank, assume the man is HIV+ and is more than willing to "share".
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    Apr 08, 2008 9:33 PM GMT
    joeindallas saidHere in Dallas I was shocked to hear two young twinks talking about how much fun they will have at a "Gift" giving party, and how good the Daddy was, I was shocked to find out the Daddy was a spokesperson for the AIDS awareness program here.

    Do not signal out Craigslist or Man hunt they are Honest, if you want BB or PnP your call. Stupid call but that is it. Here on RJ how many people refuse to comment of HIV status or if they Play safe. If those two spaces blank, assume the man is HIV+ and is more than willing to "share".


    Yikes, now that is shocking.

    I just assume that anyone I'm with is possibly positive. Assuming the worst and being the safest is always the best bet. I merely singled out Craigslist and Manhunt because they're hookup focused sites. Any site where guys hookup, of course, has the same issue.
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    Apr 08, 2008 11:02 PM GMT
    Someone said:Here on RJ how many people refuse to comment of HIV status or if they Play safe. If those two spaces blank, assume the man is HIV+ and is more than willing to "share".


    I leave those blank because I'm not looking to have sex with anyone I meet on here, and therefore, it's nobody's fraking business. I thought it a bit ridiculous they were on here in the first place. I like sex, but why must it invade every aspect of gay culture? And making blanket statements about assuming something about someone isn't very tolerant, not to mention the bad logic (post hoc, ergo propter hoc).
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    Apr 08, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    STOP IT...

    Squirrels with rabies kill as well.

    Protect yourself, and or stay abstinent until you find out the guy you are with doesn't have a disease.

    It's pretty simple folks...

    If you jump in a pool, don't bitch about getting wet~
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    Apr 08, 2008 11:14 PM GMT
    joeindallas said Here on RJ how many people refuse to comment of HIV status or if they Play safe. If those two spaces blank, assume the man is HIV+ and is more than willing to "share".



    What a fantastically ignorant statement that speaks volumes about your intelligence and who you are as a human being. You only have the right to know a guy's status if you plan on having sex with him. Whether or not someone chooses to be public about it in their profile as I have is their business. You also seem to think that anyone who doesn't publicly disclose their status in their profile is clandestine gift giver. What alternate reality do you live in? Is it like the Mirror Universe in Star Trek or is more along the lines of Bizzaro World? Either way I think you're a sick piece of work.
  • jk8man

    Posts: 52

    Apr 08, 2008 11:20 PM GMT
    look_alive said
    Or scarier yet, how many of those are already infected and don't know it, or are already infected and don't tell. Either is terrifying.


    I've heard the statistics say as many as 25% of 500,000 infected with HIV (US, CDC) aren't aware they have it.... Always a sobering thought when you're exchanging the "How you doin" glances with some hottie across the bar.....
  • jk8man

    Posts: 52

    Apr 08, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    joeindallas said Here on RJ how many people refuse to comment of HIV status or if they Play safe. If those two spaces blank, assume the man is HIV+ and is more than willing to "share".


    Well if you wanna think that way.... that's your prerogative I guess.... but wow... your interpretation is in all likelihood absolutely false....

    HIV status is a personal thing... and assuming you have a right to know that piece of information regarding everyone you ever meet is not reasonable....

    However, I'd like to believe if a relationship escalated to the point of sex.... the HIV status conversation SHOULD have happened well in advance of that....

    That said - you are the sole protector of your health.... how you choose to handle that responsibility is up to you and you alone.... but be willing to live the consequences... good or bad....

    So JoeinDallas.... if that's your policy for keeping you safe.... I hope it works....no matter how ugly it may look in writing...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    Here's a 'how you doin'...

    If you want to put yourself in a precarious situation, well, I guess I won't have to tell you the outcome.

    Get checked guys, we are all we have...and we (accordingly to statistics) are only one in twenty.

    We don't want to lose you, anymore than the Tibetan monks want to lose one of their own. Admit it fellas, we are one of a kind!!!!

    Sex is sex. Life is short. And Love is forever....what boat do you want to be in?
  • bradsmith

    Posts: 175

    Apr 08, 2008 11:40 PM GMT
    Ya gotta take responsibility for your own health...if you don't treat everyone like they're positive...well, your mileage may vary...because...boys lie...

    Met my first "bug chaser" recently on MH...a 21 year old...actually not a chaser, a finder as he's positive...truly sad...and frankly, bizarre.

    Can't imagine why someone would find testing positive enviable...so, please play safe, you will NOT regret that...you very likely will regret the alternative...
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Apr 10, 2008 6:21 AM GMT
    Rock_out...We don't want to lose you, anymore than the Tibetan monks want to lose one of their own. Admit it fellas, we are one of a kind!!!!


    I LOVE this sentiment...take good care of yourself...and when you have that done...take good care of your other brothers in the community...or sisters for that matter...

    I know several of us on this topic are positive and can tell you what it is like to live with "one more thing to worry about"...

    - David
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    May 08, 2008 2:38 PM GMT
    Wysiwyg60 said
    Despite the introduction of the powerful anti-HIV medications, some people are still dying. Not all people can tolerate the drugs, and even if they can be tolerated they can have unpleasant side effects.

    Better to play as safe as possible and avoid a lot of headaches.



    This is the kind of information we need to beat into the heads of our young people, they don't think its seriuos enough. They don't understand that HIV drugs have side effects, they don't understand what it was like when HIV first came on the scene in the 80's.
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    May 08, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
    Maverick75 said[quote][cite]Wysiwyg60 said[/cite]
    Despite the introduction of the powerful anti-HIV medications, some people are still dying. Not all people can tolerate the drugs, and even if they can be tolerated they can have unpleasant side effects.

    Better to play as safe as possible and avoid a lot of headaches.



    This is the kind of information we need to beat into the heads of our young people, they don't think its seriuos enough. They don't understand that HIV drugs have side effects, they don't understand what it was like when HIV first came on the scene in the 80's.[/quote]

    I found out from my Doctor on Tuesday, that despite the new drugs, the incidence of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma has not decreased much among HIV+ men.

    We need to remind people that HIV does not just mean potentially getting AIDS, it also can lead to other potentially fatal diseases that can cut years off of your life expectancy.
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    May 08, 2008 9:42 PM GMT
    I always here comments like "Well with the treatments its just like living with diabetes?" As if diabetes hasn't been shortening the lives of millions of Americans in the last 40-50 years. The attitude of people about a disease that killed lots of our good people in OUR gay community just blows my mind.
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    May 08, 2008 9:50 PM GMT
    I don't really understand what a gift giving party is????
  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    May 08, 2008 10:21 PM GMT
    I've only lost one friend to this disease and that was painful enough. The side effects from my meds are annoying, though the meds are working; still undetectible after 2 years. I have friends that constantly lament having the disease and I usually roll my eyes when I see people comparing this to diabetes.

    How the person that Wysiwyg60 is talking about took care of himself is beside the point; the fact is this disease still took him. So bug chasers, you don't have to die young so stop going after it. Having HIV is not some badge of honor, nor is it an inevitablity for all gay men. Take care of yourselves.

    May that guy's family and friends find compassion and peace at this troubling time.

  • auryn

    Posts: 2061

    May 08, 2008 10:26 PM GMT
    jackozmodernlife saidI don't really understand what a gift giving party is????


    In short, it's a sex party that people go to have sex and/or do drugs with people with HIV in an attempt to become HIV+. It's asinine. I hate this disease; it's stupid.
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    May 08, 2008 10:37 PM GMT
    I've never heard of bug chasers outside the gay community, why is it prevalent in the gay community. What's the psychology/thinking of a bug chaser? Do they want us to pay their bills? Is that it?
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    May 09, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    Maverick75 saidI've never heard of bug chasers outside the gay community, why is it prevalent in the gay community. What's the psychology/thinking of a bug chaser? Do they want us to pay their bills? Is that it?


    They're insane. A friend of mine told me that he'd rather die than get old. He's not a chaser to my knowledge, but maybe that's part of the mentality in a culture that values youth and beauty above age and wisdom.

    For me I kind of look forward to getting old as long as I still have all my marbles. Then I can have fun with people by pretending to be crazy and senile.
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    May 09, 2008 1:52 PM GMT
    Maverick75 saidI've never heard of bug chasers outside the gay community, why is it prevalent in the gay community. What's the psychology/thinking of a bug chaser? Do they want us to pay their bills? Is that it?


    My understanding is they want to be able to "share the experience of being HIV+" figuring it is only a matter of time before they get it anyways. Irrational is too kind a word for people who think like that.
  • joeindallas

    Posts: 484

    May 09, 2008 8:52 PM GMT
    W-60
    Years ago their was a guy who was on Tom Synder late night. He had been infected at a party and was organizing more now. During the interview he said something like "it puts me on a Higher Spiritual Plane being HIV+" I thought Tom was going to dope slap him for that. Attitude in the Community is that HIV is managable with the drugs, but those drugs wreck your liver and kidneys, persons with HIV are usually not candidates for organ transplantion, due to the interaction of the Anti Rejection drugs