Why I Keep My IMs Off

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 15, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    I got an RJ e-mail earlier today, asking me to unlock my IMs. Well, it seemed decent, and I IMed him. But never got an answer back.

    But I forgot to reset my IMs. A few minutes ago I got another IM (also coming from the Middle East) saying he liked men with "big bellies" or some such phrase.

    Big bellies??? I wanna die. I'm certainly crying. Just don't anybody IM me again, OK? icon_sad.gif
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    May 15, 2011 7:45 PM GMT
    OK, our friends just left. We were actually having a meeting here when the above happened. They're the President & Vice-President of our local gay leathermen's group, that has donated large amounts of money to the HIV/AIDS charities we support.

    Now they want to get involved with supporting the SMART Ride to Key West, that I mention here often, that benefits several Florida HIV/AIDS agencies. One of them brought his notebook computer, and connected it to our Wi-Fi. He was e-mailing me their official letterhead, that we in turn can use with our own fundraising efforts.

    It was during lulls between receiving those e-mails that I got that weird RJ IM about my big belly. Gotta lose this big belly fast, that's for sure. icon_redface.gif
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    May 15, 2011 8:47 PM GMT
    I get the occasional IM which seems like spam to me. But it hasn't happened often enough for me to disable it.
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    May 15, 2011 8:55 PM GMT
    I got burned out with IM's years ago. I seldom sit at the computer for more than 5-10 minutes at a time before getting up to do something around the house. It got really annoying to come back to the computer and have 10+ people "screaming" at me for not answering them right away...so I stopped using it for good. Now if someone wants to IM me bad enough, they can pay me for my time.
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    May 15, 2011 11:13 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 said
    Art_Deco saidOK, our friends just left. We were actually having a meeting here when the above happened. They're the President & Vice-President of our local gay leathermen's group, that has donated large amounts of money to the HIV/AIDS charities we support.

    Now they want to get involved with supporting the SMART Ride to Key West, that I mention here often, that benefits several Florida HIV/AIDS agencies. One of them brought his notebook computer, and connected it to our Wi-Fi. He was e-mailing me their official letterhead, that we in turn can use with our own fundraising efforts.

    It was during lulls between receiving those e-mails that I got that weird RJ IM about my big belly. Gotta lose this big belly fast, that's for sure. icon_redface.gif



    Ummmmm..... Why are you all of a sudden going to "lose this big belly fast" based on what someone you never met and don't know said? Sounds like you have absolutely no self esteem to begin with.

    Oh... and do you ever do anything that is NOT somehow gay-related? icon_rolleyes.gif


    Soooo heartless-

    Art, don't listen to this guy. We're all working on something and is some random guy asking/telling you about your belly makes you want to do something about it, all the power to you.

    Props for being involved in things in the gay community that AREN'T involving naked boys, sexing boys, organizing gang bangs etc... because at least you're doing something that is benefitting the community, which I'm sure is more than others posting in this thread can say.
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    May 15, 2011 11:25 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidYeah, I turned off IMing, too. I turned it on because a friend from the forums wanted to IM. Unfortunately I didn't turn it off and was quickly receiving "wanna cam" messages. Or the ever engaging "hey"....guys, WTF are you supposed to say to "hey" (just be upfront and say: "I really want you to start talking to me but I personally don't actually have anything to say".)
    Anyway, off it went and I'm way more comfortable with it gone, lol.


    Exactly. Thats why mines Off too. I dont wanna bother.
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    May 15, 2011 11:31 PM GMT
    When I get IM's from random people who ask the dumbest and most annoying questions or something along the lines of "I'm horny and you're hot" I just crank my character up a notch and they quickly leave me alone. Works like a charm icon_razz.gif
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    May 15, 2011 11:36 PM GMT
    It's always people who wanted me to unlock (before I took my private photos down... thanks reaper) or cam with them. IM = off now.
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    May 15, 2011 11:37 PM GMT
    Never even noticed the "IM" feature. Will be keeping it off after reading this though!

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    May 15, 2011 11:51 PM GMT
    southbeach1500 saidOh... and do you ever do anything that is NOT somehow gay-related? icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, actually. And we're both very proud of that. Being retired, at least it gives us a focus late in our lives, besides ourselves.

    And when I mention these things often here online, don't misunderstand my motive. I've had all the honors, medals, rewards & accolades I need, I don't need more. In fact they embarrass me, as they have all my life, not how I was raised.

    Rather, one of my goals is to encourage others to get involved in gay activities & support to our community. You seem to be locked in the mindset that everything has to be about ME (or you). NOTHING is about me, except insofar as how it effects others, providing examples to them.

    You really don't get it, do you? Unless perhaps you're just determined to be nasty & negative? My partner & I have nothing more to do with our lives at our ages. And so we do for others, what little we can, with the little we have. And I post it here. Along with my frequent misadventures for a laugh on me.

    And if that's not to your satisfaction, well, then go get fucked. I've the luxury of doing what I like, and I intend to keep doing just that. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 16, 2011 12:08 AM GMT
    Art Deco...I just want to say thanks. I find your stories very humorous and appreciate the info and casualness of your posts. You, Paulflexus, and Ariodante always make me laugh! Keep doing what you do and dont worry about it.
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    May 16, 2011 12:21 AM GMT
    I've kept mine off for awhile, but only recently did I put that information up front in my profile - not that it'd help, since most of the guys who contacted me didn't seem the type to read profiles. In my experience I've found that if people feel they can reach you whenever you're online they get proprietary and possessive. I come online to escape from my obligations, not create new ones.
  • eddieross69

    Posts: 841

    May 16, 2011 12:31 AM GMT
    I turned mine off months ago. I find them annoying and intrusive.
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    May 16, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    eddieross69 saidI turned mine off months ago. I find them annoying and intrusive.


    Agree.
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    May 16, 2011 1:44 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI keep my IMs turned off. Mainly a bunch of freaks looking to get off via webcam or some self serving salacious motivation that I do not need to concern myself with.


    ^^This. Happened to me twice and I turned it off after the second time. *chills*
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    May 16, 2011 2:01 AM GMT
    I guess I'm the opposite. I'm looking to connect with guys and find it's much easier to get to truly know someone with an IM chat (since it's interactive) rather than trading emails. Sure there are the random guys who will send you an IM and want to have a little "cam-2-cam action"...it's easy to say, "not interested" and move on.
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    May 16, 2011 2:06 AM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    southbeach1500 saidOh... and do you ever do anything that is NOT somehow gay-related? icon_rolleyes.gif

    No, actually. And we're both very proud of that. Being retired, at least it gives us a focus late in our lives, besides ourselves.

    And when I mention these things often here online, don't misunderstand my motive. I've had all the honors, medals, rewards & accolades I need, I don't need more. In fact they embarrass me, as they have all my life, not how I was raised.

    Rather, one of my goals is to encourage others to get involved in gay activities & support to our community. You seem to be locked in the mindset that everything has to be about ME (or you). NOTHING is about me, except insofar as how it effects others, providing examples to them.

    You really don't get it, do you? Unless perhaps you're just determined to be nasty & negative? My partner & I have nothing more to do with our lives at our ages. And so we do for others, what little we can, with the little we have. And I post it here. Along with my frequent misadventures for a laugh on me.

    And if that's not to your satisfaction, well, then go get fucked. I've the luxury of doing what I like, and I intend to keep doing just that. icon_biggrin.gif


    This comment promoted by spaghettimonster

    1. Very satisfying and thoughtful comment.
    2. Volunteerism is awesome.
    3. I love the "f*** you" overtones.
    4. (And as a person who does a lot of volunteer work with an HIV/AIDS public interest organization I was highly offended by his comment as well - straighties get infected with HIV too. The straighties suffer the same crippling foundational economic realities and problems affecting the GLBT HIV+ community: orientation and gender expression matter very little at the clinic if safer-sex or safer-needle-use practices failed to keep them out of the clinic in the first place.)
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    May 16, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    NHMEATHEAD saidArt Deco...I just want to say thanks. I find your stories very humorous and appreciate the info and casualness of your posts. You, Paulflexus, and Ariodante always make me laugh! Keep doing what you do and dont worry about it.

    [[[ BIG HUGS ]]] That really touched me -- thanks! icon_biggrin.gif

    Do you know that paulflexes, my partner & I have all met? He's a great guy in person, and just what his profile says & shows. I thank you for him, too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2011 2:22 AM GMT
    I keep it on because I meet some cool people through it. If I don't like what a particular member is saying, I can just close the window?
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    May 16, 2011 3:11 AM GMT
    Whinge Whinge whinge Whinge fuckin Whinge.
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    May 16, 2011 3:18 AM GMT
    OMG he could of told you he liked men with more chins than a chinese phone book.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2011 3:22 AM GMT
    IM and chat room. I will never use it.
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    May 16, 2011 3:47 PM GMT
    fnq_boy saidWhinge Whinge whinge Whinge fuckin Whinge.


    I'm American, what is this "whinge?" icon_wink.gif

    Actually, I agree and it has nothing to do with IMs. I got hotlisted by someone named something like "lovesoldguys." I wasn't amused.
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    May 16, 2011 4:06 PM GMT
    showme saidI got hotlisted by someone named something like "lovesoldguys." I wasn't amused.

    Oh, wait, have you had THIS one happen to you yet? I was still 49, a month or so from 50, and I get an invitation in the mail to join AARP! (American Association of Retired Persons, for those outside the US) You can do so at age 50, whether you're actually retired or not.

    And I'm thinking, back in 1999, HOW did these people get my mailing address, and know my exact birthdate? Is the US Government sharing my data with them? They're a private non-profit, not governmental. I didn't have my age and physical address online anywhere.

    I still haven't joined them, BTW. Mainly because I was ticked at that invasion of my privacy, and because I don't need their services. Plus it sure was a shocker to be reminded, just as I was turning your age, that I was now AARP material. Which in the US, is the national group most associated with the elderly. icon_razz.gif
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    May 16, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    I keep it off because I'm at work!