When did you come out to your parents/immediate family?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2011 4:24 AM GMT
    If you've already come out to your parents/immediate family, how old were you when you did it?

    I'm 20 and I haven't come out to my parents yet.
  • SuperPump

    Posts: 242

    May 16, 2011 4:25 AM GMT
    when I was 19
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    May 16, 2011 4:34 AM GMT
    18. They replied with "Yeah, and? We already knew"

    It went well. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 16, 2011 4:35 AM GMT
    I was 21, but I didn't come out to them...they walked in on me and my bf. icon_lol.gif
  • Chackers

    Posts: 149

    May 16, 2011 11:59 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI was 21, but I didn't come out to them...they walked in on me and my bf. icon_lol.gif


    Saved you from any talks about feelings and "are you sure" 's i'm guessing?
    Very efficient!
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    May 16, 2011 12:16 PM GMT
    23
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    May 16, 2011 1:04 PM GMT
    I came out to my parents when I was 20 because I couldn't stand having to walk on eggshells and hide it anymore... my immediate family I am not out to and don't think I ever will because they are religious and very old fashioned and don't think they'll be accepting.
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    May 16, 2011 1:08 PM GMT
    I was 19, and it was the summer after Freshman year of college. The night before I was supposed to go to a wedding of a second cousin (that I really didn't want to attend but was unclear why) I went to see this movie, "Boys and Girls" with Freddie Prinze Jr. The movie wasn't great, but I finally accepted that I was never going to be truly happy in an intimate relationship with a girl. I had never done anything with a guy before, but I knew (like most of us always know).

    Getting out of the movie, I smoked a J with my very straight best friend and told him I was gay. He told me whatever makes me happiest in life made him happy, and nothing was going to to change (except for maybe our "hot girls" rating game).

    The next day was the wedding day, and I did not want to drive in a car for four hours and witness something I thought I was never going to be able to experience for myself. My mom kept on getting angrier and angrier. "Why don't you want to go? Your Grandpa is going to be very disappointed." I was also starting to get visibly upset.

    Mom: "What's wrong? Please tell me."
    Me: "I just don't want to go to something that I'll never be able to do myself."
    Mom (laughing): "Just because you don't have a girlfriend right now doesn't mean you won't find a wife in ten years. You are a handsome, intelligent, caring young man, and I know girls see that in you now. Don't worry about it now. You will get married some day." My mom's face was truly perplexed. My dad, though, I could tell he knew.
    Me (garbled sobs): "I'm not going to get married... Because I'm gay." I'm full on sobbing, and my dad got up and left the room.
    Mom: "What?"
    Me: "I'M GAY!!!"

    For a split second I thought my dad left the room because he wasn't going to accept me, but, no, he came back with a stiff drink in hand for my mom (which was such a touching move). She sat there, downed it, and said, "Fine... But you're still not using it as an excuse to get out of going to a wedding." And off we drove.

    It took my mom awhile to get there, but 11 years later she flew out to New York for my 30th birthday party at a gay bar. She bakes my partner's favorite cookies. I talk to my dad about relationship advice. And I was just the Best Man at my best friend's wedding. Things work out. It might not be totally smooth sailing, but it's so worth the journey!
  • Hokenshi

    Posts: 387

    May 16, 2011 1:12 PM GMT
    When I was 11 - Nothing changed, my family are wonderful.
  • Jwusn

    Posts: 35

    May 16, 2011 1:16 PM GMT
    When i was 20 and home on leave after boot camp lol
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    May 16, 2011 1:17 PM GMT
    17 and it was awful. My relationship with my mom was never the same after that icon_sad.gif. My sister was very supportive. Eventually my mom came around. I wish I did later than that, like in my 30s
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    May 16, 2011 2:39 PM GMT
    I came out at 28. I told my twin brother first who was very supportive. I emailed all my siblings but left my parents off a few months later. I think the main thing they were upset with was the fact that i hadnt told them first and why i waited so long. Things are great now. I just wish i came out years earlier.
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    May 16, 2011 2:42 PM GMT
    when i was 15
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    May 16, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    14-15ish to my mother and 18 to my father.
  • Teqkilla42

    Posts: 338

    May 16, 2011 2:51 PM GMT
    14. I grew up in a Unitarian Universalist family, so it wasn't a big deal at all.
  • CalebKM

    Posts: 156

    May 16, 2011 2:56 PM GMT
    10
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    May 16, 2011 3:07 PM GMT
    Came out to my mom last August and then to my friends and dad this past April =] best decision ever
  • fitnesshound

    Posts: 36

    May 16, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    When I was 21. It might've been a little mercenary, but, at that time, my father was a major hard-ass about college. He refused to pay for certain things that he thought were "unnecessary" and there was no possibility of discussion about living off-campus, because he thought I would party instead of going to school. So I had no doubts that, when I came out to him, that he would yank funding for college. At a minimum, it was a serious risk. He and my mother are both super-Catholic, so I had no expectation that it would go well.

    So, I waited until after I graduated and after I moved to my first apartment, then I told them. This was in the late-80s and the mercenary part was that I didn't want to risk not finishing my college education. If they had reacted badly and cut me off, I wouldn't have been able to finish school.

    Anyhow...it was tense at first, then a taboo discussion for a long time, then they finally accepted it and my relationships. It works out in the end.
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    May 16, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    My parents had come up to university to visit me my freshman year (19) to see how I was doing. I'd been thinking about telling them for a while and I'd figured I'd finally tell them. If they weren't gonna love me, I didn't want them to pay for my college anyway. Even if that meant I'd have been forced into a life as a homeless hobo. So I did.

    Most awkward silence ever
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQubiRTloms1kTw3vdF-ET

    Then the conversation went on like nothing happened. My parents don't have a problem and they have both been very supportive!
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    May 16, 2011 5:15 PM GMT
    Not til I was 27 and had been living with my partner for a few months. I was a real wuss about it, even though I needn't have been.
  • chepibe

    Posts: 14

    May 16, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    I was 19
    it made life a lot easier
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    May 16, 2011 6:21 PM GMT
    Friends 22, family 24...

    Im 31 now, and couldnt be happier
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2011 6:39 PM GMT
    a year ago. age 27.
  • Gloryboys

    Posts: 28

    May 16, 2011 6:53 PM GMT
    I was 30 when I accepted myself as gay an then proceed to tell those I cared most about and it went fine, mom just said I know and dad was almost like whatever and if any of the rest of the family give you a hard time I'll be all over their ass... I am the eldest and that goes some way. I just said thanks dada no problem.
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    May 16, 2011 6:58 PM GMT
    I came out a little late.. but told my wife, son, parents and brothers all in one day...Long day.. in the end we are all fine today .. and an orthodox Jewish family to boot.. but great family...great husband...life is good.. stay honest