Online Chat vs meeting in person

  • brendanmuscle...

    Posts: 593

    May 16, 2011 4:49 AM GMT
    Why is it that sometimes ive liked people when we chat online, but then when we meet up it just feels completely different? This feeling isnt usually about their physical attractiveness (although it can be) but more just about the chemistry i guess. Likewise, i know i've met other people who had different feelings about me when we met in person

    i've had a couple boyfriends in the past, and one of them we really did not seem to connect well online...but it was so different in a good way in person

    I'm not saying that you can't tell anything about a person online, just that *sometimes* its different when meeting in reality. I think when you webcam and talk too, it will give you a much better inclination.

    Needless to say though, i still am single now.
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    May 16, 2011 1:32 PM GMT
    I think online people kinda tend to impress and are intouch with the words, but in person they get stressed and may lose faith in themselves and vice versa!
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    May 16, 2011 2:16 PM GMT
    The big danger of online chat is that it's one dimensional and until you meet someone in person you're left to build your own image of the person typing. Generally all you can really tell from online chats is how fast the other person can type and how well they can spell. From there you begin to build your own 'perfect person' based on what YOU think they should be. The danger with this is that it's very unlikely that they will meet up to the expectations that you've created.

    Meeting someone in person allows you to have personal interaction including voice, mannerisms, body language, eye contact. True, when meeting in person you really can NOT tell if they can type fast or spell correctly, however, these as small issues that are easily resolved as time goes by.

    I learned after getting burned more than once (I'm a slow learner) NOT to hang my hat on that super hot guy I chatted with online before I met him. Short chat and then a meeting or it's not going to be. The emotional investment is WAY too much to carry on a chat for a long period of time before meeting.
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    May 16, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    I know how you feel. I ended up talking for hours with a really great guy, and we had a lot in common, and really connected. But when I met up with him, it kind of went awkward, and we ended up going our separate ways after a quick romp.

    A little disappointing, but being able to communicate outside of an online environment has started to become a rarity. icon_sad.gif
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    May 16, 2011 2:58 PM GMT
    I understand that. I think having a relationship on line is different from actually meeting someone in person. I meet someone on RJ in real life. And I expected something different.
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    May 16, 2011 3:02 PM GMT
    I've had this happen both ways. A guy is really fun and interesting to chat with online, but then he's hardly anything like that in person. Then there's the guy who's a dud to chat with, but he turns out to be amazing in person. Funny how that works sometimes.
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    May 16, 2011 8:53 PM GMT
    Yeah, there is a real risk of developing an idealized image of the person. If things go really well online you both need to understand that if you meet in person you will have to learn to get to know each other all over again.