paulflexes saidBeing gay had nothing to do with my suicidal moments.
Being ADHD, OCD, SAD (seasonal affective disorder), and unemployed (at the time), did.
_Mohammed_ saidI definitely did... considering my background... extreme muslim parents... hardcore egyptian culture...
The fact that when I was praying every day with my own family and every friday with the masses of people there who are antigay...AND the fact that the imam would recite verses that described the place the gays will go to after the day of judgment is over and hell is brought in...
and the torture that they will be receiving...
It made every hair on my body stand up in fear... but most of all it made me feel guilty...
TrevorMark saidBeing a teenager, not having anyone I could relate to, having really really bad parents and probably hating what I didn't know about myself most likely had me at the brink. I wouldn't pinpoint me being gay as one of the factors.
Glad I was strong enough to know better.
_Mohammed_ saidI definitely did... considering my background... extreme muslim parents... hardcore egyptian culture...That's the catch22 of all religions that marginalize gays...it makes you feel like shit for being who you are, then tells you you're going to be punished for it, that there's no way out, and that suicide would only expedite the punishment.
The fact that when I was praying every day with my own family and every friday with the masses of people there who are antigay...AND the fact that the imam would recite verses that described the place the gays will go to after the day of judgment is over and hell is brought in...
and the torture that they will be receiving...
It made every hair on my body stand up in fear... but most of all it made me feel guilty...
paulflexes said_Mohammed_ saidI definitely did... considering my background... extreme muslim parents... hardcore egyptian culture...That's the catch22 of all religions that marginalize gays...it makes you feel like shit for being who you are, then tells you you're going to be punished for it, that there's no way out, and that suicide would only expedite the punishment.
The fact that when I was praying every day with my own family and every friday with the masses of people there who are antigay...AND the fact that the imam would recite verses that described the place the gays will go to after the day of judgment is over and hell is brought in...
and the torture that they will be receiving...
It made every hair on my body stand up in fear... but most of all it made me feel guilty...
My family is also extreeeeemly religious, and tried to put me through that hell. Fortunately I was raised to have some really big balls, so I stood up to them and told some of them to go fuck themselves...with no sugar-coating on the words. That's the ONLY thing that prevented my gayness from factoring into the suicidal thoughts.
_Mohammed_ saidThing is, if I ever said that to my dad or mom, I would get kicked out of the house when I am 18, and be on the streets. I would have no connection to a good education ... so I am waiting until the time is right.I think Trev would be a good one to chat with about that.
_Mohammed_ said..Scratch my last post...didn't see this part.
I got beat before by both my parents when I came out to them, but the cops got involved and said it was "necessary actions" because I resisted to get beaten up.
SoCalScotty saidMy attempt at suicide was actually a month or so after coming out.
From age 13 and on, I had undiagnosed hypothyroidism, which for those who don't know the major symptoms are depression, fatigue, weakness and weight gain. I was diagnosed with this at the same time as my depression, so I had two strikes against me which led me to the major depression throughout my teen years related to being gay and my weight issues.
So while struggling with my sexuality and not being able to have everything I thought I had wanted in life, kids/family/white picket fence/etc; I was also struggling with my weight issues as well as Social Phobia. So I was basically alone in the world, or so I felt; and my only source of social interaction was through video games on the computer. I'd literally goto school, come home and be on the computer for 8+ hours than slip, rinse repeat for 5 years of my life.
Fast-forward to 19 years old, I had made a great friend from said video game and had told him one night(consider him one of my closest friends, though we've never actually met in person). That than slowly started my coming out process to co-workers etc, and eventually my mom. Who after telling, the next morning had told my entire family without me knowing, which was awkward.
That led to being told by my brother-law-law saying "You know I can't let you around the boys(my nephews) alone now". Remained stoic until I got home where I broke down, and wondered if I made the right decision in coming out or if I should of just forced myself to be straight. Couple months pass, things are still rocky and I'm home alone one night, and decide that I wanted to die. Just before I start cutting wrist, I get a text from my dad asking how I'm doing and I tell him what i was about to do and said sorry. He rushes over to the house, takes me to ER etc. Afterwards we're out to eat and I had no idea my dad knew, but apparently mom had told him(shocker, right?) and basically told me doesn't matter as long as I'm happy, I'm his son and he still loves me, and I'm tearing up writing this so etc shall finish it
I still struggle with depression, but it no longer impacts my life so dramatically and I believe I'm a stronger and healthier, both physically and emotionally than I have ever been and life is pretty good being a work in progress
Long-winded, I am
_Mohammed_ saidI definitely did... considering my background... extreme muslim parents... hardcore egyptian culture...
The fact that when I was praying every day with my own family and every friday with the masses of people there who are antigay...AND the fact that the imam would recite verses that described the place the gays will go to after the day of judgment is over and hell is brought in...
and the torture that they will be receiving...
It made every hair on my body stand up in fear... but most of all it made me feel guilty...
I wish (young) people got more educated about suicide and the difficulties of life! I hope that anyone considering it will change his/her mind somehow. 
_Mohammed_ saidI definitely did... considering my background... extreme muslim parents... hardcore egyptian culture...
The fact that when I was praying every day with my own family and every friday with the masses of people there who are antigay...AND the fact that the imam would recite verses that described the place the gays will go to after the day of judgment is over and hell is brought in...
and the torture that they will be receiving...
It made every hair on my body stand up in fear... but most of all it made me feel guilty...
swimguychicago saidWho thought about killing themselves when they realized that they were gay?
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