Would you date an escort if he was chasing after you ?

  • chgobuzz1

    Posts: 155

    May 17, 2011 5:26 AM GMT
    For a couple years now this guy who found me on line has been wanting to date me. He works a typical white collar sales job by day, travels around the country for that and by night is an escort (yeah he has sex with them).

    He is a hot guy as well, handsome yet mature in his 40's in great shape etc. I have spoken with him on line many times and finally agreed on a date. He is also appearing at a local bar for a an AIDS fundraiser this weekend. I told him I would meet him there but he wants a date before that. I have finally decided to accept. His reasoning is that he makes great extra cash so I suspect he is insecure about money, spends it on vacations apparently and would agree to split the cash with his boyfriend. He seems oddly interesting and Im curious about the lifestyle but see him somewhat as a needy character, trapped perhaps in either a sex addiction or just so desparate for money he does this. I cant see myself dating him but what if he really is a great guy otherwise ? He says he is every guys dream- successful and a whore in bed. I dont want to judge him yet I find him strangely compelling. Very complex that he does this and the risk that comes with it both careerwise, legally and healthwise (yes he already is HIV+). He seems almost like a tragic character, desparate for the love of a steady partner, rejected many times no doubt for who he is and yet he still tries to find love but yet is strong willed enough to where he will not be giving up escorting. What do you all think ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    I think it takes a certain amount of maturity for something like that and if he seems worth it, then why not?

    But I would give extra time in the 'getting to know' phase because experience tells me that the tea you steep yourself in is what you end up tasting like.

    If you can see beyond that, you are a prize, but you have to make sure he is, too.
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    May 17, 2011 5:47 AM GMT
    If you're thinking that you can change him, there's a strong probability that you're incorrect, and will be heartbroken soon.
    If you're willing to love him as he is, then go for it.
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    May 17, 2011 5:58 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIf you're thinking that you can change him, there's a strong probability that you're incorrect, and will be heartbroken soon.
    If you're willing to love him as he is, then go for it.


    Exactly, love him for who he is...or not.

    Contrary to your question...most escorts aren't chasing after free sex nor love. Money comes first and anything else is just extracurricular. Sounds pretentious, but if that wasn't the case then one might as well retire. In your case, the guy who is chasing you is doing it "on the side".

    Your assumptions are equally erroneous. You are being prejudice by assuming he has some horrible mental instability before you even know him. That's being ig-nant. Maybe you should walk away because you're the one with the insecurities. And it's totally justifiable. You are not obligated to deal with it. You have every right to seek a 100% monogamous relationship.

    If you don't like what he does, then walk. Bye. See ya, don't wanna be ya but I'll be myself...
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    May 17, 2011 2:43 PM GMT
    i'd do it, but i wouldn't get attached to him as being "the one". i could be a good friend and enjoy some intimacy, but part of me would hold back whether i liked it or not.
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    May 17, 2011 2:49 PM GMT
    That would be a tough call. No matter how I felt about the guy, I know I will always have some sort of reservations.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    May 17, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    I say date him. Why not? I have no qualms w/ it, but that's me.
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    May 17, 2011 3:14 PM GMT
    If'n I was single and looking sure I would.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2011 3:22 PM GMT
    Dude, it's his job to scam guys like you.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 17, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    I think I would be flexible enough to get to know the guy, but to have a serious dating relationship would probably not happen... unless something very unusual and compelling to convince me otherwise.
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    May 17, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    nope - i wouldn't
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 17, 2011 3:29 PM GMT
    A date is just a date, it's not like your moving in with him.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 17, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Lordie I'd love to be chased!
    Why do so many people look for reasons to discount other men and ignore their interest?
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    May 17, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    paulflexes saidIf you're thinking that you can change him, there's a strong probability that you're incorrect, and will be heartbroken soon.
    If you're willing to love him as he is, then go for it.


    Exactly, love him for who he is...or not.

    Contrary to your question...most escorts aren't chasing after free sex nor love. Money comes first and anything else is just extracurricular. Sounds pretentious, but if that wasn't the case then one might as well retire. In your case, the guy who is chasing you is doing it "on the side".

    Your assumptions are equally erroneous. You are being prejudice by assuming he has some horrible mental instability before you even know him. That's being ig-nant. Maybe you should walk away because you're the one with the insecurities. And it's totally justifiable. You are not obligated to deal with it. You have every right to seek a 100% monogamous relationship.

    If you don't like what he does, then walk. Bye. See ya, don't wanna be ya but I'll be myself...




    I was going to write a more elaborate reply but these two posts kind of hit the nail on the head.

    If you like him enough, go for it (most escorts don't work long past their 40's anyway). However, I get a feeling from your post that you make a lot of assumptions and aren't very comfortable with it, so if you can see this being a problem later on if thimgs were to get serious between you both, nip it in the bud now.

    Go on the date and maybe you'll have a better idea of him as a person and whether you feel it's worth making the jump.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    May 17, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidDude, it's his job to scam guys like you.



    ...Well Stated
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    May 17, 2011 4:11 PM GMT
    It's easier for people to just discredit others instead of getting to know the person. You may have WAY MORE in common than what you think is possible.

    iHavok saidLordie I'd love to be chased!
    Why do so many people look for reasons to discount other men and ignore their interest?
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    May 17, 2011 5:42 PM GMT
    wellwell said
    Alpha13 saidDude, it's his job to scam guys like you.



    ...Well Stated



    from two not very well travelled people who live in a bubble.
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    May 17, 2011 5:52 PM GMT
    beneful1 said
    wellwell said
    Alpha13 saidDude, it's his job to scam guys like you.



    ...Well Stated



    from two not very well travelled people who live in a bubble.


    Thank you. Escorts are people too, just attractive people who you can buy your time from.

    Ive had the opportunity to hook up and hang out with some escorts. They were normal (I didnt pay) and many times they said that people would pay them to take them out to dinner (really? Maybe I should do it lol.)

    If he is a good guy go for it, if you dont like the idea of sharing it probably wont be for you.
  • jperfit

    Posts: 593

    May 17, 2011 5:53 PM GMT
    nah man, not at all
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    May 17, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    Hell yes!icon_exclaim.gif

    But only if he was the last man on earth.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2011 6:20 PM GMT
    Some escorts are hot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2011 6:24 PM GMT
    Unless you are a virgin everyone is someone's sloppy seconds.

    But who the fuck wants to have someone's sloppy two hundredth?

    To hell with that shit.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • aaronkei

    Posts: 211

    May 17, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    Well I would look at it this way...I would tell him I would not date him as long as he is an escort. If he is interested in me enough then he will give that up. If he says no then I would tell him that he wasn't worth my time. I apologise for this but I look down on people like that because I see sex as something that is sacred and should be shared between two people that love one another...I don't judge them because I have talked to a few of them as friends before but I would never take the chance of loving them. They may be great guys and all but I am not going to risk my life to make them happy. Sorry I just wouldn't be able to do it. If you feel it is right then I will back you up with anyone that gives you hell but me personally, I wouldn't do it.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2011 6:34 PM GMT
    The fact that he is so upfront about it takes courage. Give him a chance.
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    May 17, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    I've been in this situation, as the guy you're referring to. Being a male stripper, it was difficult managing relationships. A few guys wanted nothing to do with it and felt extremely jealous. Others decided to try it out which was a big mistake. I believe anyone in the adult industry at some point struggles with work and how it interferes with relationships.
    I've learned that being a male stripper, escort or whatever; we're all whores to somebody or some organization. That somebody or organization varies with the person. 9-5 slave with the corporate machine, freelance, whatever. I've learned a lot, done very well and never got into drugs/alcohol and hopefully he hasn't or if he has, is out of it and as healthy as he can be.