Should I attend??

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    May 17, 2011 2:08 PM GMT
    Yo chickens,

    I've been invited to a birthday party by old church "friends" and the guys who walked away when I came out and said I liked men will be there.

    Should I go? Any thoughts?
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    May 17, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    It's hard to say. Who's Bday is it?

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    May 17, 2011 3:54 PM GMT
    Yea who's bday is it, and will the guys do any harms to you?
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    May 17, 2011 4:09 PM GMT
    I would say that depends on you. Do you want to go? Are you comfortable going somewhere you were not previously wanted? Would you like to reconnect with some of them? I am a big fan of giving the benefit of doubt and maybe some of them have realized they were tools. Worst case you go stay a few then leave....dont let their ignorance stop you from doing something you would like
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    May 17, 2011 4:13 PM GMT
    how much of an effort is it?

    if it's a big drive, then dont' go.

    measure how much you might regret and be traumatized by the experience against the investment of effort involved.

    if it's on your commute, and you can arrange an easy out if it goes weird, sure.

    if you have to drive a long way, have no easy exit, have no safe friends there, then no. you have nothing to prove. if they walked away from you once, they've already proven themselves. if you go back asking to be abused, thinking they might be the better person, you run the very real risk of being abused and you'll be complicit in your own suffering because you chose to extend yourself.

    it's your call.
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    May 17, 2011 4:30 PM GMT
    Its one of the guys who got married but he has always been nice to me and so has his wife...

    I think Im gonna sleep on it, but I dont want to go there with a defensive attitude or either begging for theior apporval... its not so much them, but some of the others who will be there are are total assholes.

    My best mate will be there most prob so I can hang with him potentially
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    May 17, 2011 5:05 PM GMT
    Yes you should go. Show em you aint bovvered.
    Don't let them bully you.
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    May 17, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    boulderic saidYes you should go. Show em you aint bovvered.
    Don't let them bully you.
    You took the words right out of my fingers.
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    May 17, 2011 5:09 PM GMT
    boulderic saidYes you should go. Show em you aint bovvered.
    Don't let them bully you.

    Co-sign.
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    May 17, 2011 5:20 PM GMT
    TrevorMark said
    boulderic saidYes you should go. Show em you aint bovvered.
    Don't let them bully you.

    Co-sign.


    Thirded - unless (slight caveat) you will feel so uncomfortable that just going would do harm to you. In that case, send your regrets to the nice couple and try not to give it a moment's more thought. The important part of all of this is to take care of yourself.

    Hugs.
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    May 17, 2011 5:30 PM GMT
    blactor saidYo chickens,

    I've been invited to a birthday party by old church "friends" and the guys who walked away when I came out and said I liked men will be there.

    Should I go? Any thoughts?

    Chickens? Not sure what that means.

    That aside, I would NOT attend. Make a new life for yourself. I see this as social begging. Hat in hand, asking for acceptance.

    When I came out I cleaned the slate, all new friends. Mostly gay, quite a few lesbian, some bi's & trans, and a good number gay-friendly straight. I just began all over again, and I now have more friends that I ever did before. I don't think I'm hurting.