He's Gone...

  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 18, 2011 10:30 PM GMT
    I just got this message, and kinda don't know how to feel.


    Hey, good looking. I hope all is well with you.
    And I had a random piece of news for you. I was just told a few minutes ago that Will (that friend of Jen's our freshman year that made you look like a leper one weekend) passed away yesterday. Hearing the news made me think of him, which made me think of you. Which made me want to pass along the news, and remind you that I think you're fabulous.
    And I'd celebrate Danny pride day. You know, mostly for you, and a bit for me...


    Will was the first person I did anything with. First person who I aknowledged i was gay with, first kiss, and first blow job.
    We weren't close, so I'm not too torn up, but it's kind of a shock, so out of the blue.
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    May 18, 2011 11:58 PM GMT
    Just allow yourself to feel. Acknowledge what you feel. Talk with friends about the man who was your first.

    Then, keep living in his memory.

    I am sorry to hear of your loss.

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan
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    May 19, 2011 12:33 AM GMT
    GROUP HUG!!!

    50poohgrouphug.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 12:37 AM GMT
    I'm sorry buddy....
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 19, 2011 12:39 AM GMT
    I know how you feel. One of my first high school girlfriends passed away a few years ago, kind of out of the blue. It really threw me.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 19, 2011 12:41 AM GMT
    Did he get run over by a truck, or die of something that he could have transmitted to you? We need more context here.
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    May 19, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    You need
    cathug.gif
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    May 19, 2011 12:52 AM GMT
    A few months back I googled my first true love, who I broke up with a long time ago. We had kept in sporadic contact but didn't maintain a relationship.

    I discovered he had passed away four months earlier. I felt terrible, and it was a weird empty feeling. I did have a rush of good feelings for him, good memories.

    I can empathize.
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    May 19, 2011 12:53 AM GMT
    Yeah .... Part of life... We are here fir a short while.

    Sorry for ur lost
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 19, 2011 1:58 AM GMT
    Don_Guerrilla_de_Sodom saidYou need
    cathug.gif


    Win.
    Especially as there might be adults we both know who sleep with a stuffed Hobbes Tiger at nights when alone.
    He's just perfect snuggle size...
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 19, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidDid he get run over by a truck, or die of something that he could have transmitted to you? We need more context here.


    suicide.
    not sure more than that...like I said, we weren't really close.
    It is possible it was something he might have transmitted, but let's be honest, that was a good decade and a half ago. If he had given me something, it would have shown up by now on a test or two.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    May 19, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    Sing of the past as you behold the dawn of hope in my eyes, for
    It's magic meaning is a soft bed upon which my heart rests.
    - Kahlil Gibran
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 2:04 AM GMT
    I'm sorry for your loss!
  • AlanGZ

    Posts: 385

    May 19, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    Would not be easy for me in that case...

    Big Hug for you mate
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    May 19, 2011 2:07 AM GMT
    this made me teary... icon_sad.gif I am sorry to hear about this. Remember all the good things about him and it should make you feel better. It will lighten up your heart.
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    May 19, 2011 2:27 AM GMT
    If you've got a crappy long-term memory (like mine), then I'd suggest writing down some of the memories you have with him. For me, it helps with the grieving (or shock, in your case), and also ensures that, no matter how much time goes by, I'll always be able to recall in what way that person affected me.

    Whether this is healthy or not, I'm not entirely sure, although I think it plays into a fear that a lot of people have - thinking that the people who survive them might also forget them, or vice versa, thinking that we'll forget the people we've lost. Either way, I feel like - while it's important to accept death and move on with our lives - there's a good deal to be said about remembering the people who have touched us, have shared a moment, and have created a memory. Because, whether that moment was minuscule or massive, it's still a part of our lives and has helped shape who we are today.

    /corny speech
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    May 19, 2011 3:54 AM GMT
    Just remember.. BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!
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    May 19, 2011 6:03 AM GMT
    You said he was the first guy you did anything with. He may have more meaning to you than you think. It meant enough to you that you asked RJ guys for comments. You need to vent all your feelings to someone. I would go the funeral or a short time after, (it could be days or weeks), go to the cemetery and express your feelings and say goodbye. Sometimes they say just writing a letter to him and never mailing it is enough.