Is he interested?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 12:44 AM GMT
    A few weeks back I signed up for a dating site where I met this guy. We really had good conversations online and it eventually moved to texting. We exchanged numbers at the end of the semester(We are both college students) We texted for a straight week and quickly hit 2000 texts.

    He eventually asked me over and I accepted. We ended up spending the entire day together hanging out at his. I also spent the night but nothing happened. The next day I texted him and found out that his friend was in town so naturally our texts slowed up. After this friend left texts started to pick up again but not quite like before. I asked him out on Monday and plans kept falling through and I started to get the impression that he wasn't interested so I told him straight up that it was fine if he didn't want to get together and he just refuted and said that wasn't the case.

    So we finally met again and things went well again. During the date we So I leave his apartment and told him to text me and he said likewise. I texted him on Tuesday and things went as normal. I texted him again today at 4:15. It is now almost 9 and I have not heard from him at all. Also just as a side note, throughout this entire time however neither of us have stopped signing onto the dating website. So, obviously I can see him logged on and he has been logged on all day but you can also just log on and leave the computer running similar to AIM.

    So, I don't know what to make of it. Is he interested? Is he keeping his options open with me? Or are the other people that he may or may not be talking to on this website him keeping his options open incase I fall through? I'm horrible at dating. I've never been in a real relationship because up till this point in my life i have lived in an ultra-conservative town with little to no prospects. I am not sure how gay dating works and I am having all my heterosexual friends giving me advice but somehow I feel like their experiences don't necessarily translate to the gay dating world. How do I proceed from here because when I am with him he acts extremely interested and especially touchy-feely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    You've been on two dates with him. It doesn't really matter if he's interested or not. You should keep your options open.

    Texting is informal and meaningless. You can't read too much into it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 12:56 AM GMT
    Normally, the attention span doesn't last very long when it's 2000 texts in a week.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 1:02 AM GMT
    Oh I am keeping my options open for sure. Yeah, I dunno. I definitely don't read into texts. Just new to this shit. Honestly, if i had a choice I'd fucking not text at all and just call but thats just the curse of new technology. People prefer to text over talk on the phone.
  • setherer

    Posts: 32

    May 19, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    I'd say don't pursue it. Don't chase it off by being completely shutting off communication, but don't pursue it either. If it is going to happen, with mutual interest from both parties, it will happen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 11:15 AM GMT
    You can't build a relationship out of text messages.

    Try this.

    Invite him to do something this weekend. If you have a good time, ask him to do something again next weekend. Repeat until you have built a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2011 11:35 AM GMT
    Enjoy your times together and be more patient. You can't hurry love.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 19, 2011 11:44 AM GMT
    somnia saidYou can't build a relationship out of text messages.

    Try this.

    Invite him to do something this weekend. If you have a good time, ask him to do something again next weekend. Repeat until you have built a relationship.


    This is a good plan. If he says he can't make it and doesn't offer up an alternate plan, then leave it, or ask him when would he like to go out on a date ;)
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 19, 2011 12:04 PM GMT
    I don't think you really have enough information to make a determination as yet. He may have things going on and just can't respond...... or just doesn't respond the way you do on a consistent basis. I'd suggest keeping cool with it, in other words, don't sufficate him with texts, give him a little
    time, text occasionally and if you are together, really make an effort to get to know him.

    If he becomes less than accessible, take that as a sign as well.

    Good luck with it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    After weeks of texting, Going on 2 seemingly nice dates....I think the guys a flake and being totally disrespectful to you. It depends on how much you like him as to how long you want to wait for him to get with the program. Hey...good luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    Been in the same situation... (still bitter)
    Best advice I've gotten on the matter is the following:

    ""When a guy really wants to see you he'll want to see you, hell or high water. [..] When guys want something they reaaaaallly let you know. If they want it."

    So I wish you luck, just don't get your hopes up.