Dilemma: Me and my ex are friends still after a month relationship and am wondering if I should wait for him to make the next move or should I

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 19, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    My ex and I are friends now because we got into the relationship very fast without getting to know each other and because of me getting stress out a lot. I had a lot of personal problem that I had to deal with and I would run to him for my escape. The problem with that is that I was stressing him out and when he wasn't there for me, I would be upset.

    Now we are friends and we share mutual friends (just to let you know my ex isn't out of the closet) so he REALLY wants to be friends with me. He also says he misses a lot, there is a future of us getting back together but he is afraid of hurting me again and doesn't know if he is ready for a relationship yet.

    blah, blah

    My thing is I know I should give him space but I don't know how much space to give him.

    Should I wait for him to contact me? and when he is ready to get back in a relationship?

    Because at this point, I feel like not contacting him anymore but am afraid he might lose interest in me.

    Questions:
    Should I contact him and if I should when is a good time to contact him?
    Or Should he contact me (to hangout and get back into a relationship)

    Should I trust him that there is a future for both of us because I told him if he ends up dating other guys..I don't know how that would keep our friendship afloat.

    HELP!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 19, 2011 11:05 AM GMT
    Slow down. Your first relationship ended because you moved too fast without getting to know each other. You need to spend more time getting to know each other. Maybe you're not meant for each other. That's ok. There will be other guys.

    Don't wait for him to make the first move though. He might have the same concerns as you and is waiting for you to make the first move.

    You need to take action but also be comfortable with rejection if it doesn't work out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 20, 2011 12:57 AM GMT
    Let me be graphic. From what I here the situation could go like this:

    metrolink-disaster-sick-shit.jpg

    Give each other distance and remember there's always that reason why you two broke up. And in a month those sort of reason don't just "fix" themselves. He has things he should workout as well as you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 20, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    you're kidding right?
  • charmr

    Posts: 233

    May 20, 2011 1:54 AM GMT
    Try to be with him in groups. Throw a party, preferably with some or all couples See how things go from semi-close range.Could be another friend's birthday, etc. Or have a mutual friend throw a party. Offer to go for a walk with him -- or to some event you know he'll enjoy. He'll show you soon enough if he's interested. Play it cool but be where he can see you. There's plenty of time for cuddling later!
  • siannoguy

    Posts: 14

    May 20, 2011 2:10 AM GMT
    If he really wants to get back with you or even have the slightest interest in doing so, he will initiate the idea and talk things through.

    Otherwise, give him as much space as you can muster. Take this time to just focus on yourself and how you can grow and move on on your own because that will eventually be the thing that will make you attractive, not only to him but also to others. You can only be the one responsible for your own personal growth, not others. Give him time. If he really wants to get back with you, you know he really means it. And who knows by then you'll have a better perspective on handling the relationship better than before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 20, 2011 3:41 PM GMT
    thanks guys!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    May 20, 2011 4:14 PM GMT
    Your like the guy who keeps tastin the honey cause it's sweet ...even though you know it's laced with poison....Do you really want a guy in your life that plays the in the closet card ???? This is a one sided friendship...your lookin for more he's likes things the way they are....You either keep pining for this guy or you tell him your done with his games and want a real relationship....Livin in limbo sucks ass...but you'll find this out for yourself......BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 20, 2011 4:38 PM GMT
    mybud saidYour like the guy who keeps tastin the honey cause it's sweet ...even though you know it's laced with poison....Do you really want a guy in your life that plays the in the closet card ???? This is a one sided friendship...your lookin for more he's likes things the way they are....You either keep pining for this guy or you tell him your done with his games and want a real relationship....Livin in limbo sucks ass...but you'll find this out for yourself......BUD


    well said.