< rant >

I could perhaps be the only person on the planet to feel this way, but if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we’re not alone.

I hate hot guys. I do. I know it may sound very strange, but I do. I hate them because of the way they look, and that I don’t look that way. I hate that get tons of attention, and I don’t. I hate them because I know I can’t have them (just let me rant for a moment, thanks). I hate how everything seems effortless to them.

I also love hot guys. Contradiction? Well, we are all contradictions walking around. I love them because they are so beautiful. I love looking even though I know I can’t have them. I suppose this is where the term ‘achingly beautiful’ comes from. I want them, all of them.

Every time I look through incredibly hot mens’ profiles, I silently curse myself for looking and ever hoping that I could possible ever talk to one. I try. I send the stupid message: “Hi, how are you doing?” that only people like me ever answer. Someone who’s not hot, who’s not in the upper echelon.

Why on earth do I do this to myself? I have no idea. I find various men attractive, and base most of my ‘decisions’ on facial features, but when a man with a rocking hot bod and a beautiful face are combined, I die a little on the inside. It’s not fair. I know they worked hard to get the body they have, but there is no replacing good genetics for an attractive face.

Perhaps worst of all is the gay hot men. At least with the straight guys, I know I have no chance, at all. With gay ones I could. I could have a tiny smidgeon of hope, as close to 0 as one can get, but still there is something. Somehow it never fails...

Now, I know a few of you will comment saying that 1) I can get any one, so don’t give up hope, 2) Who are you kidding, you are one of those people, 3) Lower your standards, and 4) Don’t worry about what you don’t have, let go. And you are all probably right, but I have to say something about it because it’s been bothering me for a long time, and yes, I’ve become upset enough over it. One of the reasons I work out a lot is because I want a better body so people like this will like me too, and of course so I will like me too.

Ugh.

< / rant >