Becoming Versitle??

  • haggiedc2

    Posts: 53

    May 20, 2011 6:13 AM GMT
    Hi Guys...I am all top all the time. I was in a ten year relationship with a verse guy..I made an attempt to "occationally" bttm the first 6 months and that did not work. We resorted to 3ways to resolve this so his needs are met. Actually this worked out well...as this was not the cause of our break up. I have waited 3 years to start dating as I did not want any "luggage" when starting anew. So now that I am willing to start dating...it seems that many of the men I have been meeting and attracted too had been verse or other tops. It seems that being all top, I am omitting a segment of men that could be a great BF, it is just we are on the same team. So I have a few questions and need some advise.
    1. How does one goes from Top to Verse?
    2. How do I pick the right "top" to break me in?
    3. Should I wait to get in relationship first?
    4. How do I prepare so I don't create a mess?
    5. How long will it take for me to actually get to the point of "enjoying" it?
    6. Will I one day enjoy it...or do I suffer through it to be with the right guy.
    I hate that I feel like some girl debating over how and who to give my virginity too....LOL...so all protential suiters....send me a line and tell me why you should be the "one".....
    Thanks for all the advise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    I was in the same situation actually... I have been top 90 % of the time in my relationship... but one time my bf (Jon) wanted to top me so I let him since we both need to please each other - and we value each other.

    1) First, make sure you clean yourself properly... get a squirt bottle or have an enema... lather with soap while you are showering. basically... get yourself clean.

    2) As a top myself, it was hard for me to accept Jon's dick because my hole was and still is super tight. I was on top of him....he fingered, got a butt plug, and LOTS of lube. he let it sit in the first inch into it for a while. Once I was comfortable... he went in more... eventually it was all in. and he slowly thrusted...

    3) make sure you are really horny! If you aren't super horny, then your hole will not open... period. I bottomed for Jon after I had topped him for a while... so my dick was throbbing - it was literally flicking up and down while his dick slowly went inside my hole.

    so you should be able to enjoy it if you use lots of lube, get on top of him, and go slowly all while you are horny.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2011 11:23 AM GMT
    I don't think you can make yourself like anal receptive sex any more than you can, say, make yourself like white asparagus if you haven't got a taste for it.

    That's not all bad. Maybe sex not so often isn't that bad for a relationship. In my experience, when you live with someone it is hardly sex every day, at least not anal sex.

    Sure experiment with it, but don't expect some guy to come along and make you into a bottom. That kind of change probably isn't external.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    ok, since you asked, i'd suggest learning to experience it on your own. sex toys. people will parse this out weirdly because they have their own hang ups with roles and identity, so. i'll say in advance...i don't buy into roles, etc.

    get a fleshy sex toy (not necesarily a dildo, but something insertable). warm it up in hot water so it's not cold to the touch. and just let yourself experience something new. there may be pieces you like and pieces you don't. but what this will do for you is let you know on your own if you can find any physical pleasure in it AND prepare you to show your bf how to bring you pleasure

    it doesn't mean you'll magically like it, but it removes the other element of perhaps having someone else who can't read you well enough to get you where you want to go......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    There's some good advice here.

    I feel your pain, literally - I don't often find bottoming pleasurable. I do it for my partner and once in a while it's great fun, but usually it just feels like something's banging into a wall where it shouldn't be.

    I know that all the standard advice says to clean yourself out - but I don't really agree. First, unless you wait a significant period of time, nasty watery stuff can come out which is, IMO, far worse than the occasional natural "extra." Also, if you clean yourself out you wash away a bunch of natural lubricants (ok, mucous) that can't adequately be replaced by lube. I prefer to just wait for a time when I know I'm relatively clean. Eating lots of fiber helps, a lot.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 20, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    I think it's a mental thing more than anything.

    If it's something you want to do, you could get a small toy and experiment with it. If you have someone that is willing to be patient, it can be a lot of fun. Plenty of rimming, fingering, etc. can make you really want it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 09, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    _Mohammed_ saidI was in the same situation actually... I have been top 90 % of the time in my relationship... but one time my bf (Jon) wanted to top me so I let him since we both need to please each other - and we value each other.

    1) First, make sure you clean yourself properly... get a squirt bottle or have an enema... lather with soap while you are showering. basically... get yourself clean.

    2) As a top myself, it was hard for me to accept Jon's dick because my hole was and still is super tight. I was on top of him....he fingered, got a butt plug, and LOTS of lube. he let it sit in the first inch into it for a while. Once I was comfortable... he went in more... eventually it was all in. and he slowly thrusted...

    3) make sure you are really horny! If you aren't super horny, then your hole will not open... period. I bottomed for Jon after I had topped him for a while... so my dick was throbbing - it was literally flicking up and down while his dick slowly went inside my hole.

    so you should be able to enjoy it if you use lots of lube, get on top of him, and go slowly all while you are horny.

    Yet again: "From out of the mouths of babes...." This is spot-on advice.