God is tardy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:07 AM GMT
    It is now 6pm and there has been no indication of any death.

    How rude of him/her/it/thingy to keep me waiting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:15 AM GMT
    He's stuck in traffic give the big guy a break, he'll come and smite you when he's good and ready.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:21 AM GMT
    I demand immediate smiting, I have dressed in sexy underwear for my descent to hell and I want to be there as the party starts not in the middle or the end I want to get it started and damned it to hell I want to get it started now!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:24 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI demand immediate smiting, I have dressed in sexy underwear for my descent to hell and I want to be there as the party starts not in the middle or the end I want to get it started and damned it to hell I want to get it started now!!!


    You do have a point. Early-drunk Satan is a hoot and a half. Late-in-the-party drunk Satan is just a little bitch. That was one long Cinco de Mayo.
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    May 21, 2011 8:25 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI demand immediate smiting, I have dressed in sexy underwear for my descent to hell and I want to be there as the party starts not in the middle or the end I want to get it started and damned it to hell I want to get it started now!!!


    Get there after the start.You don't want to be the first one in hell, like just standing around with a cocktail in hand, waiting for people to arrive. And God knows, with traffic nowadays, everyone is late.
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    May 21, 2011 8:29 AM GMT
    shai_00 said
    lilTanker saidI demand immediate smiting, I have dressed in sexy underwear for my descent to hell and I want to be there as the party starts not in the middle or the end I want to get it started and damned it to hell I want to get it started now!!!


    Get there after the start.You don't want to be the first one in hell, like just standing around with a cocktail in hand, waiting for people to arrive. And God knows, with traffic nowadays, everyone is late.


    God's totally going to that same party you know. He's the one who always brings out the jello shooters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:29 AM GMT
    Exactly and I wanna be in there first to charm up Satan and make him my bitch before all the cheap whores get there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:40 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    ...
    God's totally going to that same party you know. He's the one who always brings out the jello shooters.


    No way! God's jello shooters are the bomb! Do you think they'll have bodyshots on hot devil dancers like the last time the world ended? I gotta get me some hot devil action

    Devil_bodybuilder.jpg
  • Twenty_Someth...

    Posts: 1388

    May 21, 2011 8:46 AM GMT
    shai_00 said
    Ariodante said
    ...
    God's totally going to that same party you know. He's the one who always brings out the jello shooters.


    No way! God's jello shooters are the bomb! Do you think they'll have bodyshots on hot devil dancers like the last time the world ended? I gotta get me some hot devil action

    Devil_bodybuilder.jpg


    Looks like a painting of Tim Curry in Legend!!!
    darkness.jpg
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    May 21, 2011 11:29 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidI demand immediate smiting, I have dressed in sexy underwear for my descent to hell and I want to be there as the party starts not in the middle or the end I want to get it started and damned it to hell I want to get it started now!!!


    So uh.., what's this sexy underwear you are wearing for the special event.?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 21, 2011 11:34 AM GMT
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 21, 2011 11:34 AM GMT
    I know I washed my ass really good for all the hell sex that I'm planning on having
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    May 21, 2011 11:39 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidI know I washed my ass really good for all the hell sex that I'm planning on having

    Ssoooo....you need a rapture to have hell-sex?? icon_eek.gif What's stopping you now? icon_twisted.gif



    haha no but I mean now I have a squeaky clean ass and no one's here to do it icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 11:44 AM GMT
    Space_Cowboy_89 said
    yourname2000 said
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidI know I washed my ass really good for all the hell sex that I'm planning on having

    Ssoooo....you need a rapture to have hell-sex?? icon_eek.gif What's stopping you now? icon_twisted.gif



    haha no but I mean now I have a squeaky clean ass and no one's here to do it icon_sad.gif
    See, you're in hell already. Satan will send the bottoms and the tops into different caves. (and smite the 'versatiles' with ED)
  • steven_patter...

    Posts: 144

    May 21, 2011 11:45 AM GMT
    No, no, Tanker, you've got it all wrong!! No smiting today - that doesn't happen for months & months yet. All that's supposed to happen today is that all the dreary "good" Christians are going to instantly vanish (something I've been praying for most of my adult life), leaving the rest of us stuck here to await ultimate smiting (and have a lot more fun).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:01 PM GMT
    I'm still waiting for my 1974 Mercedes SL convertible........black with red leather upholstery......icon_cry.gif

    Out of respect for Roccoe, I won't include a Youtube of Janis Joplin singing
    "Oh Lord, wont you buy me........"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:03 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Space_Cowboy_89 said
    yourname2000 said
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidI know I washed my ass really good for all the hell sex that I'm planning on having

    Ssoooo....you need a rapture to have hell-sex?? icon_eek.gif What's stopping you now? icon_twisted.gif



    haha no but I mean now I have a squeaky clean ass and no one's here to do it icon_sad.gif

    Well you do have until 6pm to talk some random guy in *your* region into believing that since the end is near: "fuck inhibitions --let's fuck like bunnies while the world burns around us."

    I mean, if that creepy 89yo (who'd pulled this bullshit before, for crying out loud) could talk thousands of Christians into quitting their jobs, selling their possessions so they could tour around America and warn people that the world is ending today, surely (to fucking God) you can talk some weak-willed "true believer" that "come on...ya might as well....last chance...Jesus wants you to--that's why he sent me....time's a tickin'!"

    Think man! --What would J-lo do in a sitch like this?



    Ummmm......you talk too much.......kiss me!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:17 PM GMT
    steven_patterson saidNo, no, Tanker, you've got it all wrong!! No smiting today - that doesn't happen for months & months yet. All that's supposed to happen today is that all the dreary "good" Christians are going to instantly vanish (something I've been praying for most of my adult life), leaving the rest of us stuck here to await ultimate smiting (and have a lot more fun).


    I think I'm in love. Please let me know as soon as all the ones in my area have been lifted up beyond so I can git partyin'!!
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 21, 2011 12:18 PM GMT
    lilTanker saidIt is now 6pm and there has been no indication of any death.

    How rude of him/her/it/thingy to keep me waiting.


    It is now 14:16 in South Africa and it seems we have to wait our turn.
    God seems to be stymied by the laws of spacetime.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:22 PM GMT
    There probably some space traffic jam going on up there....*shrugs*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:26 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidThere probably some space traffic jam going on up there....*shrugs*


    That explains it. Traffic. Typical! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:29 PM GMT
    Maybe Australia's a country of sodomites and heathens so few ascended into heaven you didn't even notice icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 12:31 PM GMT
    I thought we were supposed to get presents first?
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 21, 2011 12:53 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidMaybe Australia's a country of sodomites and heathens so few ascended into heaven you didn't even notice icon_razz.gif


    Hmmmmm...
    I fail to see how that is a bad thing! icon_wink.gif
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    May 21, 2011 12:54 PM GMT
    turbobilly saidI thought we were supposed to get presents first?

    That's christmas you're thinking of.