Top Reasons Why The Rapture Was A Bust...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    - People DID get raptured, but they volunteered to instantly return to help convert the sinners left behind, only gone for a second.

    - God's still using the ancient Julian calendar, so it's not May 21st today.

    - God is so angry with the gays He decided to call the whole thing off.

    - It's a translation problem into modern English -- it's actually the RUPTURE. This Monday doctors' offices will be jammed.

    - So few people qualified that it wasn't cost-effective for God to hold it.

    - God left the planning to humans, and you know how inept WE are.

    - It was all a big joke -- belated April Fools Day!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 4:42 PM GMT
    A few more reasons...

    1. The raptees would have been gone in an instant. This is impossible, as somewhere in the world it could not be May 21st during that instant.

    2. The raptees were supposed to meet Jesus in the clouds... it was all sunshiny here today, and I'm sure a few other places as well.

    3. We all looked too busy.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    May 21, 2011 4:43 PM GMT
    No Silly

    It's those damn homosexuals again
    You know God can't throw a rapturous shindig with any of them around icon_cool.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    May 21, 2011 4:57 PM GMT
    I just think at the end of the day, God just couldn't find anything appropriate to wear to The Rapture. icon_eek.gif
  • Menergy_1

    Posts: 737

    May 21, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    [url]http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/623058fe2a/things-jesus-wants-you-to-know-about-the-rapture
    [/url]


    sorry it wouldn't turn into an active link....but try it yourselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 6:25 PM GMT
    Menergy_1 said[url]http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/623058fe2a/things-jesus-wants-you-to-know-about-the-rapture
    [/url]

    sorry it wouldn't turn into an active link....but try it yourselves.

    http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/623058fe2a/things-jesus-wants-you-to-know-about-the-rapture
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 21, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    the almighty took one swift look at the GOP/tea baggers, doing awful, mean spirited, discrimatory things in His name and said "ta hell wid it! dey ain't woith saving!"



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 6:49 PM GMT
    rnch saidthe almighty took one swift look at the GOP/tea baggers, doing awful, mean spirited, discrimatory things in His name and said "ta hell wid it! dey ain't woith saving!"

    Good grief! You mean God has a 1950s-era New Jersey accent like I do? icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    Fly the Bisexual Flag and feel the pride; it's there for you my dear half brother. Oops wrong thread.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 7:32 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie saidFly the Bisexual Flag and feel the pride; it's there for you my dear half brother. Oops wrong thread.

    Say rather, wrong planet. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 21, 2011 7:40 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    rnch saidthe almighty took one swift look at the GOP/tea baggers, doing awful, mean spirited, discrimatory things in His name and said "ta hell wid it! dey ain't woith saving!"

    Good grief! You mean God has a 1950s-era New Jersey accent like I do? icon_eek.gif



    i was trying for a mel brooks style, yiddish-accented english voice.


    icon_lol.gif
  • Menergy_1

    Posts: 737

    May 21, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Menergy_1 said[url]http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/623058fe2a/things-jesus-wants-you-to-know-about-the-rapture
    [/url]

    sorry it wouldn't turn into an active link....but try it yourselves.

    http://www.funnyordie.com/lists/623058fe2a/things-jesus-wants-you-to-know-about-the-rapture


    Thank you Art!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 2:08 AM GMT
    Yesterday my ten-year old son repeated what he apparently heard at school: "It can't be the end of the world yet---Sarah Palin isn't the president!" LOL!
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    May 22, 2011 10:35 PM GMT
    zotamorf62 saidYesterday my ten-year old son repeated what he apparently heard at school: "It can't be the end of the world yet---Sarah Palin isn't the president!" LOL!


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This is priceless !!! " KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS" LOL !!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    The funny thing is it never happened but to each his own
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 10:41 PM GMT
    Jesus can't wear a white robe before Memorial Day!

    You just can't throw a decent party without some gays involved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 10:44 PM GMT
    lady-cosby.gif
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 22, 2011 10:50 PM GMT
    And here I was thinking that the rapture did happen and nobody here was "pure enough" as well as at the age of majority icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 11:35 PM GMT
    zotamorf62 saidYesterday my ten-year old son repeated what he apparently heard at school: "It can't be the end of the world yet---Sarah Palin isn't the president!" LOL!


    That's awesome. Thanks for making me laugh today. icon_biggrin.gif
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    May 22, 2011 11:45 PM GMT
    thanks for the great laugh. : )
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 11:47 PM GMT
    Nobody can know the day or hour at which a believer will come to his senses.