should i make a move?

  • Bigmax102

    Posts: 4

    May 21, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    so i've known this guy max since kindergarden and recently in last 4 years we've become really close like he'd be one of my best friends. anyway last year while he was in a long term relationship he came out as bi to me. then one night when we were drinking he asked me to kiss him, i didn't cause he had a girlfriend. it hasn't been brought up since but hes single now. and i really want to at least kiss him and see if theres something there but i don't want to :
    A. ruin our friendship
    B. get turned down by him

    hes always seems to be flirting but hes not out to anyone so he hasn't mentioned the bi thing since last year and hes always hooking up with girls,
    so should i just ask him or stay quieticon_question.gificon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:27 PM GMT
    The next time he's flirting with you take it one step forward and start making your move.
  • Bigmax102

    Posts: 4

    May 21, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    ESCESV saidThe next time he's flirting with you take it one step forward and start making your move.


    thanks for you're reply but if i was that confident i wouldn't be asking this question, anyway dating for young people over here isn't dates ect. its all mostly done by text or really awkwardly in person so i'd have to ask him either by text before or in person icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    Just have a casual friend date. Go to the movies or a coffee shop or whatever you guys like to do together and talk about everything until the subject comes on. Ask him if he would consider dating a guy. Whatever he replies take it from there. If he says no or never, you already know the answer to your question. If he says yes take it from there. Trust in yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 21, 2011 9:37 PM GMT
    if you don't want to ruin you're friendship maybe don't go for it, no point in ruing a long term friendship for a fling! icon_confused.gif lets us know how it goes though!



  • Bigmax102

    Posts: 4

    May 21, 2011 10:25 PM GMT
    BiJamie saidif you don't want to ruin you're friendship maybe don't go for it, no point in ruing a long term friendship for a fling! icon_confused.gif lets us know how it goes though!


    i don't know now i'm really confused, i dunno if i can stay just friends without knowing if he likes me or not! icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 7:03 PM GMT
    Let's address both your concerns.

    B. get turned down by him
    This is always possible with anybody. It's just part of life. I think you're more concerned that if you get turned down by him it will ..

    A. ruin our friendship.
    I doubt he is going to reject you and then never speak with you again and everything will be awkward forever after. You've known him a long time, he probably knows you better then you know yourself and he respects you. He wouldn't have told you he was bi if he didn't respect you and he wouldn't have asked you to kiss him if he didn't like you.

    The friendship will change regardless of what you do at this moment. You are good friends now but you may drift apart over time. Do you want to be looking back twenty years from now and wondering what if?

    The bottom line is if you don't return his advances, he's going to date someone else .. maybe a guy, maybe a girl. You'll miss your chance.

    He already told you he's bi. He already asked you to kiss him. You say you want to kiss him. Clearly you both want to kiss each other. So kiss him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 7:27 PM GMT


    Just go for it... LIke the first poster said.. If he's flirting, flirt right back... Start move in closer, see if he likes you in his personal space... Slight brushes of the hand, could lead to something further... Or just say fuck it and plant your mouth on him.. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 7:31 PM GMT
    somnia saidThe bottom line is if you don't return his advances, he's going to date someone else .. maybe a guy, maybe a girl. You'll miss your chance.

    He already told you he's bi. He already asked you to kiss him. You say you want to kiss him. Clearly you both want to kiss each other. So kiss him.


    This.

    Go out for a meal with beers and talk about life, lead into love life and eventually ask him if he's still interested in kissing a guy. Would probably also make it easier, I think, to tell him you held back in the past because he had a girlfriend.

    All in all, though, go for it! If he's asked in the past, I doubt he's likely to disconnect from the relationship whatever way it goes.
  • shawn06

    Posts: 337

    May 22, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]rund86 said[/cite]
    somnia saidThe bottom line is if you don't return his advances, he's going to date someone else .. maybe a guy, maybe a girl. You'll miss your chance.

    He already told you he's bi. He already asked you to kiss him. You say you want to kiss him. Clearly you both want to kiss each other. So kiss him.


    This again. Just do it a kiss will not ruin a friendship when he has asked you himself. Just be careful how you approach it afterwards
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 7:41 PM GMT
    My advice is you only live once, and it's better to go for something than to always ask "what if?" Just don't regret whatever choice you ultimately make.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    May 22, 2011 8:04 PM GMT
    Dude.....When things get too heavy he'll use the bi get out of jail card...You'll risk your friendship over a piece of ass...at the end of the day it ain't worth it...my 2...BUD
  • Bigmax102

    Posts: 4

    May 22, 2011 8:09 PM GMT
    well if he wanted to kiss me why didn't he say it now thats hes single maybe it was only cause he was drunk and wanted a way out of his relationship?
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    May 22, 2011 8:18 PM GMT
    Bigmax102 saidwell if he wanted to kiss me why didn't he say it now thats hes single maybe it was only cause he was drunk and wanted a way out of his relationship?


    Again this story has head games written all over it...The End....BUD
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 22, 2011 8:34 PM GMT
    i say leave it alone until he brings it up. if he hasn't brought it up than you should not bring it up. let him be the one to initiate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 22, 2011 8:45 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidi say leave it alone until he brings it up. if he hasn't brought it up than you should not bring it up. let him be the one to initiate.


    i have to say i'd do the opposite when your alone with him just remind him about it and ask him would he be up for it worst he can say is no!