A gay couple with a huge age difference, & a big bank account involved...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 7:17 AM GMT
    A little background on the story:

    When I was on vacation this past week (at a fairly pricey resort), I saw a gay couple whose' age difference must have been more than 30 years. The younger guy was of Hispanic decent (can't quite tell which ethnicity; I'm bad with this, sorry), he was around my age, could be in his late 20s or early 30s, good looking, fairly sexy, and definitely attractive. The older guy was White, and is pushing 70 years old if not already, and is definitely not physically attractive, not in the slightest sense. They stayed at the same resort and the younger guy gave me one of those "gay recognition stare and nod" (I was with my BF) so I was fairly certain about the nature of their relationship. After days observing them, (lying around the pool, sometimes bumping into each other at restaurants), it is a fair statement to say that the young one was certainly not the older guy's physical therapist if you know what I'm saying. The huge age difference makes me question about them, specifically about the younger guy.

    Now, I know it's bad of me to assume that the Latin stud is going after the old guy's $$$ but I can't help thinking otherwise. I mean, it couldn't be the other way around, right? (Like the older guy's after the young stud's money. lol). So what do you guys think about this?

    If you are an older guy: will you be ok if a younger guy who is dating you, knowing that he *might* be with you because of your $$$?

    If you are an younger guy: will you be ok to date a guy who is physically unattractive so you can have more lavish lifestyle?

    Remember, we are talking about age difference of 30+ years here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 7:26 AM GMT
    nah, got too much self-respect and independence. Plus i'm a simple guy anyways, no lavish lifestyle needed.
  • kew1

    Posts: 1595

    May 22, 2011 9:13 AM GMT
    No , not for me.
    [url][/url]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 11:09 AM GMT
    Considering how often I whinge about being single I don't really feel like ragging on other people's relationships.
    Maybe the old dude (OD) is with the young dude (YD) because YD is hot. But can't you say the same thing about a relationship with two hot YDs? And saying that YD is superficial because he's not with someone because of their looks sounds wrong too.
  • janu88

    Posts: 346

    May 22, 2011 11:21 AM GMT
    why would it even bother you?
    or make you think?

    maybe you want a lavish lifestyle yourself ? icon_rolleyes.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 12:39 PM GMT
    Things change quite a bit when a person gets a little older and I think if a young guy is with the older guy for a better lifestyle it's okay. We as older people know that an older person is expected to pay a little. In my case that special guy will have to love me for who I am for I don't have the resources to to support someone in a lavish lifestyle. I would much rather have someone who has a head on their shoulders than just a pretty face and adonis body. Companionship takes a front seat as I get older.

    By the way, I think I'm pretty fortunate. I'm 66 years old and in very good health. I was reading online the other day that the average lifespan for a gay person is 43-46 years old. This sounds rather shocking to me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    vincent7 said
    By the way, I think I'm pretty fortunate. I'm 66 years old and in very good health. I was reading online the other day that the average lifespan for a gay person is 43-46 years old. This sounds rather shocking to me.


    WHAT? OMG - I only have one year to live?!?icon_eek.gif

    But to get back to the OP. I wouldn't judge either of those guys. I know of relaionships with 30 + year age differences and yes, the older guy is rather well off financially and the younger guy was a dancer when they met. The relationship seems to suit both of them although it is not one I could see myself being happy in. Still, as I get older I start to wonder if I was single and independently wealthy if I might not be willing to accept that sort of relationship....icon_confused.gif
  • CAtoFL

    Posts: 834

    May 22, 2011 1:01 PM GMT
    As an 'older' guy, of COURSE we know that younger guys might be after our money. It would be naive and stupid not to consider that. That's why wearing wealth on your sleeve is just plain stupid.

    As to your story, I saw a similar couple in San Diego recently, and here's what I thought:

    It's none of my damned business what they're doing with their lives, as long as it's working for them.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    May 22, 2011 1:02 PM GMT
    Relationships are about give and take. That's their business. Consider it "lay-away" with a whole new definition.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 22, 2011 1:06 PM GMT
    CAtoFL said

    It's none of my damned business what they're doing with their lives, as long as it's working for them.


    Well kind of my feeling as well. I probably would have noticed as the OP did, but it's their business and deducing what "probably" is based on observation
    isn't the best. I'd be too busy with my own life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 1:09 PM GMT
    My bf is 30 yrs my senior! And I have not asked him for a cent !! We have such a connection but he is really in gr8 shape ! Even better than me! So the physical part of it is good!! It just sometimes the age gap can take its toll ! He has had all this experience and I am just starting to learn !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    cityaznguy saidRemember, we are talking about age difference of 30+ years here.

    Well, you get what you pay for. Some alternative explanations:

    Rent boy (escort), not uncommon down here in Florida. Perhaps you remember a scandal we had here, not too long ago, about a prominent preacher caught at the airport, arriving back with his rent boy in tow, fetching his luggage for him. The "boy" lived in Miami, as I recall. The preacher tried to claim the guy was just along to help with luggage, but nobody believed it, and later media interviews with the young guy proved otherwise.

    Medical companion, another thing we see here because of the elderly retired population. And not always gay couples -- straight guys have them, too. I know a gay guy who works for a very wealthy infirm straight man. He's his physical therapist, nurse and general houseboy, running all the errands. The old guy also has a cook, or they sometimes go out to dinner, but mostly he stays at home. The therapist has his own apartment there, because the old guy pretty much needs constant attention.

    The couple you saw may represent one of those models, or a blend of the two. If the one guy was as old as you think, he may indeed need a traveling companion. And it wouldn't surprise me if the companion was gay, but the employer need not be.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 1:36 PM GMT
    kew1 saidNo , not for me.
    [url][/url]



    I LOVE that you posted this! icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    Caroline Aherne is one of my comedy legends (I grew up on The Fast Show, Mrs Merton and especially The Royle Family).


    Kudos.

    Toodles.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    May 22, 2011 1:40 PM GMT
    if I could put myself in the old guy's shoes, being single (and that most men are visual critters), would i go for a hot guy same as my age (that would be hard to find) or a studly young man who are thriving in most urban areas?

    chances are, even if I find a hot old guy, he wouldn't be as inclined to date a wrinkly, troll-faced, out-of-shape me. upon first impressions, my money could only be my leverage in these situations (whether or not I am the LTR-type or not).

    not everyone is lucky enough to find someone in their youth and keep it going as they age, so just be happy for them and try not to make any assumptions. you could end up in the same sit one day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 1:50 PM GMT
    At this stage of my life I would say no that is not something I would want. But in my 70's I might possibly change my outlook. It really doesnt matter what anyone of us this because we are basing our opinions on an assumption and even if the assumption is in fact correct we still have no concern ...its their life/style/business. Only thing that truly matters is that it works for them.Kudos to the old guy for still being active in more ways then one
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 2:03 PM GMT
    Some young men are desperate for money and a lifestyle they can only dream of - and some older men are desperate for company, companionship and whatever they can get from a younger man and willing to pay a price for it.

    What good is money if you can't enjoy it?? Maybe the old man never had money all his life and got a lot at 70...he just has a chance at enjoying the little bit of what's left of his life now. This is nothing new - they are both using each other and it works for them....and this is not just a gay thing or a white / latino thing....straight men with money are much worse....and they all have beautiful trophy wives...

    What about all the Asian women you see in Europe and America with old white men?? They marry for the same reason dont they?? If it's not just the money they are after then it must be the status they get by marrying a "European"..personally I don't think any relationship - gay or straight where there is a HUGE age or any other difference is a genuine relationship...but then desperate people take desperate measures and in such cases both parties are equally desperate....if they weren't desperate then they would be with someone more compatible.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    May 22, 2011 2:13 PM GMT
    It's basically no one else's business why two people are together. People are attracted to different things at different times in their lives, and that's kind of human nature. As long as the two people involved are getting what they want and need, and they are happy, then who is anyone else to judge.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    May 22, 2011 2:23 PM GMT
    Why are you obsessing on other-peoples-business(?); tend to your own . . .

    If you are that possessed w/ curiosity, why didn't you ask THEM, instead of us?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 2:36 PM GMT
    Drawing upon my other reply above: if I should make 70 in a few years, which is by no means guaranteed, I will likely need a hired companion, when my partner is no longer able to do the job. I was told by the VA 6 years ago, when they contracted for a study in my home right after my first partner died, that I should not live alone, too dangerous with my conditions. They were going to recommend I go into either an independent living program, with in-home care from professionals, or else move to an assisted living facility (ALF).

    Of course after the study, the VA bureaucracy sprung into inaction, and nothing happened after a year, the paperwork still "being processed." Finally I had decided to relocate on my own, eventually landing down here in Florida.

    Now I live with my partner, and so I have that in-home monitor & companion that I need. And he has me, providing the same service for him. It's an equitable arrangement, almost identical to what I had with my late partner, who was also handicapped. And neither of us minds caring for the other when needed, because the favor is returned.

    But what if I didn't have that arrangement? What if I was on my own again? If I had the resources I'd definitely consider a hired companion. And why not a good-looking, single gay one? Actually a married provider is unlikely to have the hours to give, and for an adult male that begins to increase the chances he'll be a gay provider.

    So again, while a Spring-December relationship is a possibility here, and even a gold digger at work, I see other alternatives to explain this.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 22, 2011 2:44 PM GMT
    Maybe they are in love?icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 3:03 PM GMT
    lol, well it's my humble observation that lovers don't always enjoy the happenstance of being born within a year or so of each other.
    I can only imagine what it must be like in a long term relationship with an age difference of over 30 years. The time together is all the more intense, its sweetness all the more powerful in light of the impending separation by death that will eventually happen.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 3:18 PM GMT
    I love how the older people who respond to this thread automatically default to "its none of your business" and totally ignore your questions.

    Don't worry, as you create more threads, you'll learn how to structure them so that people do not stray off topic and attack you instead. You are still going to get the few that will attack you anyways but that is inevitable.

    I would never date an oogle for their money. Unless the guy was going to bite the dust within a few months, had no family members and was going to immediately marry me in a state where same sex marriage was legal. I would Anna Nicole that shit. Holla.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    oh and it better be a lot of damn money because I hate filling out paperwork.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 22, 2011 3:32 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidI love how the older people who respond to this thread automatically default to "its none of your business" and totally ignore your questions.

    Don't worry, as you create more threads, you'll learn how to structure them so that people do not stray off topic and attack you instead. You are still going to get the few that will attack you anyways but that is inevitable.

    I would never date an oogle for their money. Unless the guy was going to bite the dust within a few months, had no family members and was going to immediately marry me in a state where same sex marriage was legal. I would Anna Nicole that shit. Holla.



    You went on the attack against age disparate couples quite awhile back. I remember it well. We kept our replies as polite as possible under the circumstances. Didn't work, you were just as vitriolic. Incidentally, Bill is 53 and I turned 56 last week.

    -Doug

  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    May 22, 2011 3:44 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    AvadaKedavra saidI love how the older people who respond to this thread automatically default to "its none of your business" and totally ignore your questions.

    Don't worry, as you create more threads, you'll learn how to structure them so that people do not stray off topic and attack you instead. You are still going to get the few that will attack you anyways but that is inevitable.

    I would never date an oogle for their money. Unless the guy was going to bite the dust within a few months, had no family members and was going to immediately marry me in a state where same sex marriage was legal. I would Anna Nicole that shit. Holla.



    You went on the attack against age disparate couples quite awhile back. I remember it well. We kept our replies as polite as possible under the circumstances. Didn't work, you were just as vitriolic. Incidentally, Bill is 53 and I turned 56 last week.

    -Doug



    Thank you Doug.

    AvadaKedavra has gone on the attack against those here over the age of 40 many times and it's evident whenever a thread is posted that has anything to do with one's age, he is bashing and trashing us. Attempts to take him aside to make him understand how hurtful his comments are only turn up the volume of hate on his end. Not exactly an endearing quality to have when one is being nominated again and again for MOTD. I encourage all of those here over the age of 40 to keep this in mind.

    I would like to see RJ Administration take him aside to make him fully understand his hate and rage toward older guys here is not only unwelcome, but is discrimination.

    Now back to the topic! So what if there is an age difference in the couple. Love, respect and a true bond of friendship is really all that matters. Many younger guys have a genuine respect for those guys that are older.