Is this common behavior among straight guys?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 3:49 AM GMT
    This guy at my gym gives head to a few of the lifters there. It's known. This guy is very effeminate. One night, I started a chat with him. We got to talking about relationships and I asked him if he had a boyfriend. He told me he was straight. My reaction was shock. I really didn't know what to say after that. I think many would probably react the same. So, I guess...now is this a new thing for men who like women? It seems rational that a heterosexual male would seek out a female...Also, I would like to say that a friend of mine saw him necking a guy outside a club. Hmm....I'm confused. Now, about the weight lifters...they also claim to be straight. The head is not a one time thing, this an ongoing, all the time thing. Hmmm...I can understand a straight guy experimenting and realizing he is straight, but all the time? Now, the lifters at my gym ignore the straight guy and pretend not to know him, which is really sad. I feel like I'm in the Twightlight Zone...so is this common among straight guys? Also, does this sort of thing end? I imagine no, by the amount of married men and guys with girlfriends who fool around with guys behind their back. There is a lot of it going on on. A lot.

    So...is this a straight guy thing? Seems kind of bizarre to me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    He's "straight" or straight which means he does stuff with guys like this, but doesn't consider himself gay. It's pretty common he probably is straight but just does this as a constant experiment. Or he's possibly gay, but can't admit it to anyone. Can't say anything else, but I remember a story back from my anthropology class. This lecturer came in and told us how some of the guys would come into this adult store he worked at. And well just before some would leave they would tell him they were straight and they were getting things like dildos gay porn and junk like that. Obvious they were going to use it on themselves, but its just something they couldn't bring themselves to admit that they had an attraction or slight attraction to this kind of stuff.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 23, 2011 3:01 PM GMT
    vain_nayias saidHe's "straight" or straight which means he does stuff with guys like this, but doesn't consider himself gay. It's pretty common he probably is straight but just does this as a constant experiment. Or he's possibly gay, but can't admit it to anyone. Can't say anything else, but I remember a story back from my anthropology class. This lecturer came in and told us how some of the guys would come into this adult store he worked at. And well just before some would leave they would tell him they were straight and they were getting things like dildos gay porn and junk like that. Obvious they were going to use it on themselves, but its just something they couldn't bring themselves to admit that they had an attraction or slight attraction to this kind of stuff.


    If it's a repeated action, then they aren't as straight as they want to be. (maybe a few notches closer to bisexual on the Kinsey scale)

    That and choosing to and wanting to are two different things.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 23, 2011 3:16 PM GMT
    as far as the body builders go, sometimes a blowjob is just a blowjob and they want to get off
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 3:20 PM GMT
    Timbales saidas far as the body builders go, sometimes a blowjob is just a blowjob and they want to get off


    I have to disagree man. If they want to get off, they can jerk off. Sometimes bi is just bi and people need to be honest with themselves.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 23, 2011 3:21 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidas far as the body builders go, sometimes a blowjob is just a blowjob and they want to get off


    I have to disagree man. If they want to get off, they can jerk off. Sometimes bi is just bi and people need to be honest with themselves.


    I think that there are many people out there that have had sex with someone they don't find attractive. I don't really see it as being any different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 3:27 PM GMT
    Straight men would find a woman, not a man. And, not a man over and over and over....they are bisexual or gay. A straight guy messing around maybe once, and feeling this wasn't for him is an entirely different story.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 23, 2011 3:43 PM GMT
    Maybe they get off on dominating and gagging a 'cocksucker'.

  • May 23, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I think you are all getting too caught up in the labels. If you look at countless studies done by Kinsey and others since, you see a consistent occurrence of about two thirds of men having same sex experiences at some time in their lives. This means that the majority of men have engaged in something like the first poster described yet less than ten percent of the population identifies as gay and even a smaller percentage of the population would identify as bi.

    Most guys that consider themselves to be straight truly do want to date, enjoy sex with and love women, but at the same time crave a connection with their male friends to fulfill the need alot of guys have to bond with other men on an intimate, but not always sexual, level. I imagine that the man in question simply connects with other friends on the level of the blowjobs, but as far as his relationships go he prefers to be with a woman or may be in denial about being bisexual. Either way does it really matter what he chooses to label himself? He is a guy that likes to blow some guys and doesn't want to date guys.

    If you expect everyone to fit into a cookie cutter mold of gay, bi, or straight and allow no room for anything that doesn't fit the world will seem a confusing. When you realize we'd need as many labels as their people to adequately group people you will see how silly it is to say that he has to fit into one of the aforementioned three categories.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:17 PM GMT
    I think labels are important... and so is honesty. It gives gay people equality and respect. But, I know that many gay men find the idea of a straight guy having gay sex to be hot, or a fantasy, etc.

    But, these guys...self-loathing, right?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:31 PM GMT
    gymrat100 saidI think labels are important... and so is honesty. It gives gay people equality and respect. But, I know that many gay men find the idea of a straight guy having gay sex to be hot, or a fantasy, etc.

    But, these guys...self-loathing, right?


    I wouldnt say self-loathing, but denial might be the more appropriate word. And I dont buy this intimacy crap. I can understand wanting to be more intimate with another guy, but intimacy through a blow job? Thats not even an intimate act. Go on a fucking man-date all ready.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    May 23, 2011 4:33 PM GMT
    I have more years on most of the guys here and I'm telling you, I have never met an effeminate guy who wasn't gay. Ever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:35 PM GMT
    Gay, straight or bi a guy putting a dick in his mouth is still a guy who likes putting dick in his mouth... There's nothing straight about that...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:37 PM GMT
    I suspect they are in denial of their sexuality or processing their struggles to identify who they are. I would agree that they are not str8, as str8 guys would hit a girly club or find someone of the opposite sex to satisfy them. These guys are either scared to come out or just haven't come to terms with the fact that they are gay (maybe bi but probably gay). They use the label str8 because it's accepted by society and it's the safe environment they're comfortable in. Some will recognize they are gay and eventually come out, others will never be able to accept it either because of their own ignorance or because of social pressures (usually family) they perceive (generally they don't really exist) and therefore will remain closeted for a long time or forever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 4:55 PM GMT
    I agree with all four posters. You all are exactly right. If you were the majority of gay men, gay marriage would be global. You are the good ones.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    This guy sounds like a roommate that my friend had several years ago.

    Very good looking fem guy. He would only date straight married guys. He would pick them up at the gym, romance them, but things would always end up badly. He insisted he was not gay. He just like getting fucked up the ass by straight married guys. I think he might have seen himself as a woman, but just not aware of it. He even drove a Volvo station wagon.

    So maybe he is a woman trapped in a man's body? Then again, maybe he's just in DENIAL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:29 PM GMT
    starboard5 saidI have more years on most of the guys here and I'm telling you, I have never met an effeminate guy who wasn't gay. Ever.


    +1

    Also true that I've never met a fem that wasn't a homo. And even ones that weren't all that fem, once I knew, I could always see it or hear it, no matter how butch they clamed to be.

    Many or most guys way back before we even knew what a homo was, prior to about 1973, played around with each other. True, it was just mutual J/O, but everyone I knew played around including the entre wrestling team. It stopped at J/O though. Once the taken it up the ass starts or making out with a guy, I think they are bi or full-on homo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:41 PM GMT
    This is a good example of what happens when you try to take two very broad labels and apply them to individual.

    Straight and Gay really don't mean anything. They are labels assigned by society for behavior.

    They can still be biologically driven to be heterosexual and perform homosexual acts. Society is notoriously mum on these things and it's highly subjective to call them gay or straight based off a sexual encounter that apparently only happens in the context of the gym.

    PS - That doesn't happen in my gym, but I wish it did ;)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    Righttttt...that's just like the guys who post on Craigslist about being "curious" yet it's well known that they've gotten plowed by everything and anything that walks. You're not curious after you've had sex with 50 different guys!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:45 PM GMT
    gymrat100 saidStraight men would find a woman, not a man. And, not a man over and over and over....they are bisexual or gay. A straight guy messing around maybe once, and feeling this wasn't for him is an entirely different story.


    maybe it is easier for him to find a man to blow him than a woman? I don't know just speculating.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 5:58 PM GMT
    I've met several extremely fem guys that are not gay. With most of them, I don't think they are even deep in denial...they're just fem.

    As far as the OP is concerned, your guy is just in denial. If you suck dick regularly you are gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 6:18 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidas far as the body builders go, sometimes a blowjob is just a blowjob and they want to get off


    I have to disagree man. If they want to get off, they can jerk off. Sometimes bi is just bi and people need to be honest with themselves.


    Who would prefer jerking off to getting sucked off?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 6:31 PM GMT
    Allathlete said
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidas far as the body builders go, sometimes a blowjob is just a blowjob and they want to get off


    I have to disagree man. If they want to get off, they can jerk off. Sometimes bi is just bi and people need to be honest with themselves.


    Who would prefer jerking off to getting sucked off?


    Now, Allathlete, that is a fair statement, but the real question to us gay men is would you prefer getting sucked off from a girl, or jerking off.

    The answer to me is Jerking off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 23, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    I swear; you suck a FEW dicks and all of a sudden people call you a cocksucker...
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 23, 2011 6:42 PM GMT
    What about glory holes? Some men use them with no idea who is on the other side. Isn't there a whole porn site devoted to it? Obviously attraction to the one giving the blowjob isn't a factor there.