GAY DOGMA... Agree with it or be called SELF HATING!!

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    May 24, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    GAY DOGMA:

    Having feminine mannerisms and calling your friends "girl" or "bitch" and referring to them with the pronoun "she".
    Accepting that men are slutty and gay relationships don't last as long as their straight counterparts.
    Being obsessed with female singers like Lady Gaga, Madonna, Cher, etc.
    Attending gay pride parades and being proud of all the crazy sexual exploits that happen there.
    opting to wear a speedo instead of boardies to the beach or pool.
    Main topics of group discussion include dick size, who everyone has slept with, and sex toys.
    Liking drag queen shows and/or dressing in drag yourself.
    Being ok with Bathhouses, orgies, open relationships, and cheating as just "part of the lifestyle".
    Being told that you have to pick between top/bottom/vers and these are the only options.
    Being interested in labels and designers, and judging those who lack the same fashion sense.
    Definitely voting Democrat... Republican isn't an option!
    Bisexual doesn't exist. It is only a "cover" or a stop on the journey to being "gay".

    FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN, READ, AND DISCUSSED ON THIS SITE, YOU ARE TERMED "SELF-HATING" IF YOU DON'T PARTICIPATE OR AGREE WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

    I am regularly accused of being "self-loathing" or not having "found myself" because I speak out against some of these things. But I am baffled by the way that the "gay community" thinks that if you are attracted to men, that you should share all of these traits and likes/dislikes as well. It seems the only way you are considered "well-adjusted" or "out" is if you agree with all of this! And I think it is ridiculous! I have had many conversations with guys on here who think similarly to the way I do... they just don't speak up because they don't want to engage a war with the gay dogma police! Well I'm kind of done with looking the other way regarding people's ignorance and stupidity...

    OPEN YOUR MINDS PEOPLE! THE ORIGINAL GAY MOVEMENT WAS ABOUT CELEBRATING YOUR UNIQUE DIFFERENCES AND ACCEPTING WHO YOU TRULY ARE!! So now, you are going to discriminate against people who don't fit into the cookie cutter "way of being gay" that you have come up with!?? Hmmm. To me that sounds very similar to the fundamental principles followed by religious leaders that the gays love to rail against! Sorry to break it to you, but a lot of the gays I see are just as judgmental as the bible thumpers when it comes to tolerating differences within their community!! "Self hating" might as well be replaced with "blasphemy".

    There a lot of people who will read this and say, "I am a masculine gay guy and I'm not like those things". You are not the ones I am talking about. I am talking to the guy who reads this and gets physically angered and feels I'm somehow making fun of him simply because I state that I do not enjoy these things. I am speaking to the guy who immediately thinks I am self hating because I do not attend gay pride and reject the outdated ideas of the way man/man relationships are supposed to work.

    ((And before you say "why don't you have your face picture up"... let me set the record straight.. It is an internet privacy thing.... Not a sexuality thing. Since I am in a highly visible profession where it would not be proper to have my recognizable image on a social profile, I have my pictures set to private. Do not assume because of this that I am "closeted."))

    CAN SOMEONE ENLIGHTEN ME? Can People change?? Is there hope for the "gay community", or will they just continue to narrow and narrow their acceptance until they are similar to the religious right... denouncing anything that doesn't fit in or anyone who doesn't agree with them as evil-doers??
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    May 24, 2011 2:15 AM GMT
    DOGMA, by definition is a step toward extremism and any type of extremism is not conducive to the healthy allowance of diversity......

    I don't fit the description the OP has posted, but I am just as gay as the more stereotyped flamboyant gay described.....I don't think anyone has a corner on or a legal ownership of what and who is "gay"....I don't reject the stereotype, but believe it is not the only one possible.....any more than I believe that all gay men must smoke and drink and be home wrecking tramps.....not true!icon_cool.gif
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    May 24, 2011 2:21 AM GMT
    Well said!
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    May 24, 2011 2:29 AM GMT
    I wouldn't concern my self with the radical gays... if you think about it, the reason why many people don't "like" gays or associate themselves with them is because of how extreme they are. Now don't get me wrong, BE YOURSELF if that happens to be what the " DOGMA" says. I feel that if men act like men and happen to like male ass or cocks then so be it. No need to have traits of a female just because your gay. If i were to tell all my friends and family, I am positive that majority of them would continue to be my friend and such because i am no different just sexually aroused by male parts. NOT A BIG DEAL...

    Moral of my post is, BE YOURSELF and don't worry about the "stereotypes of a gay man" because whether those radicals( extreme gays) agree with it or not, the world view gay men as " slutty and flamboyant" and they are fulfilling that stereotype, but like I said... BE YOURSELF just don't tell other gay men they are hiding something or some bullshit above.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 24, 2011 2:34 AM GMT
    really? that's what you see when you log on here? i see self-hating in you, but it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead. it's called the performativity of gender.

    you know those closet case guys who pick on "flamers" because they're uncomfortable on the inside? this is what that is. you seem to be self-hating not because you do or don't identity with any of things you rant on about, but because you're actually upset enough to go on a rant about them and start a thread. do you not see how trivial this is? so yes, you're self-hating if gay guys calling each other girls works you up enough that your manly jockstrap gets caught in your ass.

    i don't care whom you vote for or what music you listen to. people who do aren't worth anybody's time. and if you care what other people seem to care about that they shouldn't... well, you get the point. grow a pair and don't give a shit. it's your life and you only mope if you let yourself do it.
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    May 24, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif
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    May 24, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    If you're going to speak your mind, do it in an adult way. No need to be so hostile about my point of view or anyone who feels the same as I do.
  • tallguy86

    Posts: 39

    May 24, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    I couldn't agree more. icon_biggrin.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    May 24, 2011 2:41 AM GMT
    I couldnt agree more with you. I also cannot stand the gay political machine that says I need to boycott anything and everything.

    In fact...

    IM going to Chik fil a.
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    May 24, 2011 2:42 AM GMT
    JP85257 saidI couldnt agree more with you. I also cannot stand the gay political machine that says I need to boycott anything and everything.

    In fact...

    IM going to Chik fil a.


    Lol, I confess, I shop at Target.
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    May 24, 2011 2:43 AM GMT
    " I shop at target" hilarious man
  • Karnage

    Posts: 704

    May 24, 2011 2:44 AM GMT
    shredcutback saidGAY DOGMA:

    Whine, whine, bitch, bitch, I hate queens


    TLDR - stop being a bitchy drama queen icon_rolleyes.gif
  • JP85257

    Posts: 3284

    May 24, 2011 2:46 AM GMT
    jude114 said
    JP85257 saidI couldnt agree more with you. I also cannot stand the gay political machine that says I need to boycott anything and everything.

    In fact...

    IM going to Chik fil a.


    Lol, I confess, I shop at Target.


    Where the fuck am I supposed to shop? I mean seriously.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 24, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.
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    May 24, 2011 2:51 AM GMT
    calibro saidreally? that's what you see when you log on here? i see self-hating in you, but it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead. it's called the performativity of gender.

    you know those closet case guys who pick on "flamers" because they're uncomfortable on the inside? this is what that is. you seem to be self-hating not because you do or don't identity with any of things you rant on about, but because you're actually upset enough to go on a rant about them and start a thread. do you not see how trivial this is? so yes, you're self-hating if gay guys calling each other girls works you up enough that your manly jockstrap gets caught in your ass.

    i don't care whom you vote for or what music you listen to. people who do aren't worth anybody's time. and if you care what other people seem to care about that they shouldn't... well, you get the point. grow a pair and don't give a shit. it's your life and you only mope if you let yourself do it.

    butthurt.jpg
  • Karnage

    Posts: 704

    May 24, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.


    While I generally agree with the argument you're making, the vocabulary you use makes it seem as if you want to appear smarter than everyone who disagrees with you...
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    May 24, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    Someone just made me stand up and applause.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 2:53 AM GMT
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.

    And now you just sound like a pompous ass.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 2:54 AM GMT
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.


    Caliban? Nice, thats Shakespeare's interpretation of the wild tribes of the "Carib" islands... known as "Calibe" or "Caribe" depending on your dialect... and it actually means "brave warrior".. but because the Europeans were so bewildered at the "Calibans'" traditions of honouring their dead by consuming them... the term became "Canibal" in modern english and is now used only to refer to someone who eats human flesh...

    And if you knew that, forget I said this icon_cool.gif
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 24, 2011 2:57 AM GMT
    Zettabyte said
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.

    And now you just sound like a pompous ass.


    and still, an ad hominem attack does nothing to disprove my point. and the fact that's all you seem to be refuting with just furthers my rationale. you want to have a debate, awesome. you want to disagree, go for it. but if all you can do is post memes and come up with lame take downs that have nothing to do with logic (in the argumentative sense), then stay out of the conversation.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 24, 2011 2:58 AM GMT
    Greenhopper said
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.


    Caliban? Nice, thats Shakespeare's interpretation of the wild tribes of the "Carib" islands... known as "Calibe" or "Caribe" depending on your dialect... and it actually means "brave warrior".. but because the Europeans were so bewildered at the "Calibans'" traditions of honouring their dead by consuming them... the term became "Canibal" in modern english and is now used only to refer to someone who eats human flesh...

    And if you knew that, forget I said this icon_cool.gif


    haha... i might have picked that up on the way to the english ph.d., but always good to see someone else is as much of an etymology nerd as i am.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 3:01 AM GMT
    calibro said
    Greenhopper said
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.


    Caliban? Nice, thats Shakespeare's interpretation of the wild tribes of the "Carib" islands... known as "Calibe" or "Caribe" depending on your dialect... and it actually means "brave warrior".. but because the Europeans were so bewildered at the "Calibans'" traditions of honouring their dead by consuming them... the term became "Canibal" in modern english and is now used only to refer to someone who eats human flesh...

    And if you knew that, forget I said this icon_cool.gif


    haha... i might have picked that up on the way to the english ph.d., but always good to see someone else is as much of an etymology nerd as i am.


    True etymology is cool icon_wink.gif , but I'll admit in this case I have mostly history class to thank .., this stuff is in our history books when you grow up in the islands
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 3:01 AM GMT
    calibro said
    Zettabyte said
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.

    And now you just sound like a pompous ass.


    and still, an ad hominem attack does nothing to disprove my point. and the fact that's all you seem to be refuting with just furthers my rationale. you want to have a debate, awesome. you want to disagree, go for it. but if all you can do is post memes and come up with lame take downs that have nothing to do with logic (in the argumentative sense), then stay out of the conversation.

    I'm not going to debate you because I don't care. I was just pointing out that you sound like a grouchy asshole.
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    May 24, 2011 3:02 AM GMT
    shredcutback saidSo now, you are going to discriminate against people who don't fit into the cookie cutter "way of being gay" that you have come up with!?? Hmmm. To me that sounds very similar to the fundamental principles followed by religious leaders that the gays love to rail against! Sorry to break it to you, but a lot of the gays I see are just as judgmental as the bible thumpers when it comes to tolerating differences within their community!! "Self hating" might as well be replaced with "blasphemy".


    I think that speaks volumes in many aspects.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 24, 2011 3:04 AM GMT
    Karnage said
    calibro said
    FearTheFall said
    calibro said it's because you buy into hegemonic ideals and are unnerved when they are challenged. you want to live a constructed idea of gender with the invented idea of masculinity, then go ahead.


    Yeah, "bro"... icon_cool.gif


    my screen name is actually a corruption of calibri and caliban, but thanks for playing. and ad hominem points don't actually undercut the merit of my argument, so if you want to comment on the perfomativity of gender, why don't you attack the theory and not a portmanteau.


    While I generally agree with the argument you're making, the vocabulary you use makes it seem as if you want to appear smarter than everyone who disagrees with you...


    ad hominem is the correct term (and to my knowledge the only appropriate one) for someone who instead makes a personal attack in an attempt to dismiss a point of argument. it's actually quite well-used, but seems "smart" because it's latin. as for portmanteau, that's the term for the combining of two or more words into one new one, which again, though not colloquial, is the only term for what it means and is invoked quite often (even though not by name). it's not about sounding smarter as much as using the right terms. as the mad hatter said, say what you mean and mean what you say.