OMG its true, 3 dates and you had a "relationship"

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 7:12 PM GMT
    So, there was this guy that I went out on 3 dates with months ago. He decided it wasnt a match. Cool, whatever, I was a little upset at first (for like a month) and then just got the fuck over it. We set up a 4th date, and he stood me up. I was pissed at first, and I havent really talked to him since.

    Well, I have been seeing him around the city, and he has been flat out ignoring me, even when I walked by him, I said hi. He ignored me (kind of weird.)

    So I sent him a message:

    "Yarr, me be wondering why yee be ignoring me.

    I said Hi earlier this week and you ignored me :-(."

    He responded:
    "I have nothing to say to you. I did not ignore you, but I wont pretend."

    "Geez, didnt think I was that bad of a human being, sorry if I offended you."

    "No offense. I wasnt in the mood to socialize and you were with someone I know very well, so I didnt want to converse. I wont converse if I dont feel like it sorry if you took it personal. I should have been honest with you, before."

    "honest with you before, what does that mean?"

    "I should have told you before that I wasnt that into you, I failed you at that."

    "Well, duh. Seriously dude, it was three dates months ago, its not that big of a deal."

    So is it just me or is this whole conversation weird? Its not like we dated for years, or even like more than a month.

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 24, 2011 7:17 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.
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    May 24, 2011 7:19 PM GMT
    Timbales saidSounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.


    Yea thats what I was thinking, but still, I mean the man is 47 years old, wtf is going on here?

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 24, 2011 7:22 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidSounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.


    Yea thats what I was thinking, but still, I mean the man is 47 years old, wtf is going on here?

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here.


    age doesn't mean maturity, unfortunately.

    I know it's not an easy conversation to have with someone, but it's the right thing to do.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 24, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidSounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.


    Yea thats what I was thinking, but still, I mean the man is 47 years old, wtf is going on here?

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here.


    you're 24 years old-are you looking for him as a sugar daddy or you have a thing for guys ALOT older?? Double your age is gross.

    Did you have sex?? Maybe for him it was just a hook up??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 7:26 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidSounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.


    Yea thats what I was thinking, but still, I mean the man is 47 years old, wtf is going on here?

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here.


    you're 24 years old-are you looking for him as a sugar daddy or you have a thing for guys ALOT older?? Double your age is gross.

    Did you have sex?? Maybe for him it was just a hook up??


    Thanks mr judgmental, I have a thing for guys in their 40s.

    It could have been a hookup, which im cool with, but he was the one who wanted to put it off so that I didnt misunderstand his intentions.

    I think he is trying to hurt me but im just baffled at this point...Its not like I keep asking him out or anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 8:01 PM GMT
    Wow this guy is 47 yo? From reading your original post I thought he was probably younger than you, until you pointed out in your subsequent post. But I liked what Timbales said, age =/= maturity. You were def more mentally mature than him.

    Not a big deal with the dating older guys thing, so you have a thing for guys who are in their 40s, so what. You're the one who's dating them, so as long as YOU are happy then that's all it matters. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 8:05 PM GMT
    Sounds likes he is merely a coward.

    Every time he's seen you i'm sure he was just very embarrassed and avoiding having to deal with the inevitable questions you would have for him, namely regarding how badly he ended the dating scenario with you, when he knows he should have just told you the truth in the first place. He preferred to carry on the silent treatment face-to-face.

    His 'friendship' doesn't seem worth the the price/battery power of sending a text, imo.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2011 8:08 PM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidSounds likes he is merely a coward.

    Every time he's seen you i'm sure he was just very embarrassed and avoiding having to deal with the inevitable questions you would have for him, namely regarding how badly he ended the dating scenario with you, when he knows he should have just told you the truth in the first place. He preferred to carry on the silent treatment face-to-face.

    His 'friendship' doesn't seem worth the the price/battery power of sending a text, imo.


    Yea Im starting to realize that. Not only that, but, seriously, come on man. Take a deep breath, step back, and relook the situation, lol. To be honest, I think something else is going on. He does keep checking out my dating profile online.

    Ive dated guys for 3 months, decided it wasnt going to work out, and have been friends with them/civil. This one barely lasted one.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 4:05 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    Timbales saidSounds to me like he just wasn't mature enough to 'break up' in a way that wasn't a cop out.


    Yea thats what I was thinking, but still, I mean the man is 47 years old, wtf is going on here?

    I feel like Im taking crazy pills here.


    Stop taking the crazy pills. :-)

    Just because he's 47 doesn't mean he's emotionally mature.

    Move on. You'll find better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 4:21 AM GMT
    age doesn't mean maturity, unfortunately

    So true..

    To the OP: That guy was plain mean and rude. And also probably paranoid that you were contacting him for another shot. Ignore him. Given how cute/young you are, you'll have no trouble meeting someone more worthy
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    May 25, 2011 5:11 AM GMT
    Just wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:15 AM GMT
    Super common. Flakes. Guys love to rush into getting all up into a guy, but when it comes time to part ways they'd rather pull their own teeth out than do it with some honesty, respect, dignity or grace.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    Chainers said if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out."


    I see the homos in Castro, SF speak the same language as the gays in Chelsea, NYC. What a coincidence! LOL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:18 AM GMT
    Guys suck. End of story.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:21 AM GMT
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    Eh, I dont know really. Im having a hard time making friends because everyone wants to fuck my brains out and when I say no, they ignore me. I figured a friend would be nice...

    Either way, your right, I shouldnt care, this guy isnt worth my time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:24 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    Eh, I dont know really. Im having a hard time making friends because everyone wants to fuck my brains out and when I say no, they ignore me. I figured a friend would be nice...

    Either way, your right, I shouldnt care, this guy isnt worth my time.


    just do you. Ignore that other ish
  • awm55

    Posts: 619

    May 25, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    Eh, I dont know really. Im having a hard time making friends because everyone wants to fuck my brains out and when I say no, they ignore me. I figured a friend would be nice...

    Either way, your right, I shouldnt care, this guy isnt worth my time.


    I have been saying this for such a long time and get shit for it but the men who hang out in the gay communities tend to be flaky, bitchy, and in general just not the most respectable or upstanding people. Try to join a gay sports club or other interest group where something other than the fact you like fucking men brings you together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 4:26 PM GMT
    awm55 said
    Chainers said
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    Eh, I dont know really. Im having a hard time making friends because everyone wants to fuck my brains out and when I say no, they ignore me. I figured a friend would be nice...

    Either way, your right, I shouldnt care, this guy isnt worth my time.


    I have been saying this for such a long time and get shit for it but the men who hang out in the gay communities tend to be flaky, bitchy, and in general just not the most respectable or upstanding people. Try to join a gay sports club or other interest group where something other than the fact you like fucking men brings you together.


    Never thought I would say this Awm55, but I have to agree. You forgot that men also tend to do a lot of Crystal Meth, but maybe thats just here in San Francisco.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 25, 2011 4:30 PM GMT
    I would move on quickly... from what I know about you, you seem very positive and certainly that wasn't . After the 3 dates were done and it was clear things weren't clicking, I'd have moved forward at that moment. Don't get into who responded and who didn't, just move forward...

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    Im not trying to defend the guy but reality may have set in on him. Him thinking im 47 (he says he's 47 :-0 ) and you're 24 chances are it'll never work and I should bail before he gets too attached to me. Him living in San Fran. theres a good chance he's been around the block enough for him to know what works and what doesn't. Communication is everything. He seems to have done a poor job of it. You may have gotten a little attached too soon, I don't know. I wouldn't take it as he thought it was personal. Hey...you'll have lots of dates. Don't let this one mess with your head. Good Luck
  • metta

    Posts: 39134

    May 25, 2011 5:08 PM GMT
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    where you are meeting these guys? try seeing if there are any organizations that interest you...possibly sports related...hiking...etc...in your area.....

    It might be a better way to meet people than bars.

    http://www.outsports.com/localGroups/index.cfm#region

    http://www.glbtnearme.org/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 25, 2011 5:12 PM GMT
    metta8 said
    running11 said
    Chainers saidJust wanted to thank everyone for the kind words.

    Yea I was taken aback by the reaction too. FYI if you go to the Castro, Im finding that "hello" is gay talk for "I want to fuck your brains out." So be careful.

    Talk about a language barrier!


    why do you care? he sounds like a complete and utter douche, and you're better off without him. I think that's pretty clear.


    where you are meeting these guys? try seeing if there are any organizations that interest you...possibly sports related...in your area.....

    It might be a better way to meet people than bars.

    http://www.outsports.com/localGroups/index.cfm#region


    Hey, leave grindr out of this! I dont meet people at bars because I dont like to drink, and yet the only other people I have met who dont like to drink are recovering from Crystal meth, except this one Brazillian I met at Peetes coffee one monday morning. Best kisser ever! But, alas, hottie Bruno has left for Brazil. Why Bruno Why!

    I am part of a sports team, but Im thinking of joining another one. The Water polo team Im on has mostly straight guys on it (yes it is a gay team) and all the gay guys have boyfriends :-(.
  • helios01

    Posts: 349

    May 25, 2011 5:17 PM GMT
    awww ~hugsz~ ull find someone, guys are just jerks...

    he he he i liek ur pirate talk tho.

    guys who talk pirate are rare and its his loss icon_razz.gif