Long Distance Relationships...(we all hate them but i need advice)

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    May 26, 2011 3:08 AM GMT
    So iv met this amazing guy that im falling for fast..we talk everyday he makes me laugh smile i think about him ALL the time..but he's 5 hrs away..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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    May 26, 2011 3:30 AM GMT
    I've tried the long distance thing and it didn't work. He found someone closer to him, which was for the best. And my friends who've tried the long distance thing have never said a good thing about it.

    That said, if he makes you smile and laugh, just enjoy it while it lasts. That doesn't come along every day.
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    May 26, 2011 3:52 AM GMT
    Ya gotta trust me on this...it's bloody hell!!
    First of all, how long have you "known" him?
    Ever met in person?
    Until you have the chance to actually meet the guy, keep a very safe distance from him and guard your heart well. I was given this advice...and thought I knew better. I didn't. It hurt like hell. But in the end, I had peace...after finding out what a dick the guy really was.
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    May 26, 2011 4:59 AM GMT
    Friendsrbetter saidYa gotta trust me on this...it's bloody hell!!
    First of all, how long have you "known" him?
    Ever met in person?
    Until you have the chance to actually meet the guy, keep a very safe distance from him and guard your heart well. I was given this advice...and thought I knew better. I didn't. It hurt like hell. But in the end, I had peace...after finding out what a dick the guy really was.



    I have known him for about a year now.
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    May 26, 2011 5:02 AM GMT
    Dude, don't get me wrong ..Long distance relationship is suckkkkk.. I have been there..We used to talk on the phone almost every days and talked to me like how much he love me and bhla bhla bhla ..When the time went by , our relationship was getting far apart which was nothing I could do about it. he lived in Australia .And I am in the states ..
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    May 26, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    arronarron saidDude, don't get me wrong ..Long distance relationship is suckkkkk.. I have been there..We used to talk on the phone almost every days and talked to me like how much he love me and bhla bhla bhla ..When the time went by , our relationship was getting far apart which was nothing I could do about it. he lived in Australia .And I am in the states ..


    hate to be the bearer of bad news but did he really love you if i'm assuming, (correct me if i'm wrong), you never met?

    But just be careful. No one can know but you if you're willing to take that risk. If you are great, if you aren't, be his friend if he makes you laugh.
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    May 26, 2011 5:06 AM GMT
    buckeyefan1009 said
    Friendsrbetter saidYa gotta trust me on this...it's bloody hell!!
    First of all, how long have you "known" him?
    Ever met in person?
    Until you have the chance to actually meet the guy, keep a very safe distance from him and guard your heart well. I was given this advice...and thought I knew better. I didn't. It hurt like hell. But in the end, I had peace...after finding out what a dick the guy really was.


    I have known him for about a year now.


    You really never "know" someone until it's face to face.
  • calibro

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    May 26, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    have you actually met him? if you haven't i suggest doing that because that usually kills online "relationships" and then you won't have this problem anymore.
  • ohioguy12

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    May 26, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    Go for it, or you'll always wonder about him.
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    May 26, 2011 5:19 AM GMT
    calibro saidhave you actually met him? if you haven't i suggest doing that because that usually kills online "relationships" and then you won't have this problem anymore.


    This. icon_lol.gif
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    May 26, 2011 5:30 AM GMT
    I think I would have to say if he's worth it you might as well try it. We all have to have the long distance relationship at some point... just be glad its 5hrs and not international (a weekend vs a vacation).
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    May 26, 2011 5:31 AM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidGo for it, or you'll always wonder about him.


    +5 yes. please.
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    May 26, 2011 5:32 AM GMT
    Give it a try
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    May 26, 2011 5:35 AM GMT
    running11 said
    ohioguy12 saidGo for it, or you'll always wonder about him.


    +5 yes. please.


    +10... I couldn't agree more
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    May 26, 2011 5:48 AM GMT
    I'm in a similar situation to the OP. Ive met a guy who is also 5 hours away, who ticks ALL the boxes. We talk nearly everyday, he makes me laugh, makes me smile and turns me on. A lot! We have met 5 times now, hes spent a weekend at my place and in fact later on today we are going to meet up in a city that neither of us lives in for a long weekend together (Cant wait for that) we also have 3 other trips planned in our calenders.

    No, its not the ideal situation because we would both like to see each other a lot more but right now this is what we have, so we are making the best of it. I don't know whats going to happen in the future, no one does. You can see guys who turn you on every day when you walk down practically any street but to find someone who you connect with and he makes you feel good is a rare thing and I think should be allowed to be given a chance. Who knows we may become the next big thing in each others lives and then one of us will have to take the plunge and move cities - countries in this case.

    So my advice for the OP is, if you've met this guy and you get on great with him go for it, love doesn't come with geographical boundaries. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with 'what if...' in your head?
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    May 26, 2011 5:55 AM GMT
    Do things and learn first hand what works and doesn't.
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    May 26, 2011 6:00 AM GMT
    If you're only 5 hours apart, you can make that work. Ya it may get kinda hard sometimes but 5 hours really isn't ridiculous. Just switch off from you visiting him one weekend and him visiting you the next.
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    May 26, 2011 6:10 AM GMT
    BostonVball said
    running11 said
    ohioguy12 saidGo for it, or you'll always wonder about him.


    +5 yes. please.


    +10... I couldn't agree more


    Is it better to have loved and lost or to never have loved at all?
    Its some quotation and all, not mine.

    GO FOR IT (if you like him, I mean really like).
  • jpk090

    Posts: 71

    May 26, 2011 6:12 AM GMT
    as long as you've actually met him, I think it's completely plausible and worth all the hours you spend talking. go for it. fall fast. if you haven't met him--and you've been talking for twelve months and he's only five hours away--then you really need to take a step back and gain some perspective; I'd say you should walk away from it and find someone who you can actually touch-- but I'm just speaking from my own experience.

    mind fucks are nice and all, but it isn't half as good as the real thing.
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    May 26, 2011 6:23 AM GMT
    buckeyefan1009 saidSo iv met this amazing guy that im falling for fast..we talk everyday he makes me laugh smile i think about him ALL the time..but he's 5 hrs away..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!



    Did the long distance thing for months... with someone in Puerto Rico. I think 5 hours seems close. Plus I like road trips, so it sounds good to me. I will be optimistic and say you two can make it.



    However, the pessimistic side of me wants to warn you that it's hard and you might end up very hurt.
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    May 26, 2011 6:24 AM GMT
    I've tried doing this about a year ago. He was also +5 hours away from me. We talked a lot during Summer '10 but then when I started college in the Fall things went downhill- fast! icon_eek.gif

    I tried blaming my preoccupation with college duties for the lack of communication between us but I eventually (and painfully) realised that things would not have worked out anyway. He found someone closer to him and got into a more meaningful relationship.

    I'm here still recovering from it all- I am getting there. I really liked him and I thought it was love but it was just desperation. He helped me to accept my sexuality and I felt like he was the only one there for me. I made myself "love" him.

    Some things to consider:

    -Is the time difference causing any inconveniences for either you or him (or both of you)?
    -Do you have the time to spend hours online/on the phone talking to him? Communication is a must in LDRs. It makes up for the lack of physical contact.
    -You can let it be, but please don't fall too hard. Have you dealt with break-ups before?
    -Maybe one or both of you will lose interest and the relationship will eventually die on its own. It will be less painful.
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    May 26, 2011 6:31 AM GMT
    I've done 5 hours long distance icon_smile.gif
    I've also received quite a few speeding tickets icon_redface.gif

    It went rather well in my opinion, a good learning experience for both of us as it was early on in both our relationship "careers"

    Like others have said, go for it, you've got nothing to lose but a tank of gas, and everything to gain. Even if you just end up being friends, you'll never know for sure until you give it a shot.

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    May 26, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    It is bloody hell, but at the same time, I'm not too fond..no wait... I CANT STAND guys in Toronto. So for me, getting on a plane and visiting someone special tends to work for me. Longest LDR was about a year, with frequent visits. Plus, American twinks are way more sweet and fun to be around. Toronto twinks are complete assclowns.
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    May 26, 2011 6:50 AM GMT
    buckeyefan1009 saidSo iv met this amazing guy that im falling for fast..we talk everyday he makes me laugh smile i think about him ALL the time..but he's 5 hrs away..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
    Meet him in person and develop a connection to see if what you have for him is real
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    May 26, 2011 7:31 AM GMT
    Dont pass up a chance to be with someone you like, and that likes you. It could be the greatest thing, your love, you just never know. If you both like eachother enough, you will work through the distance. I met my bf on rj and he lives 6 hours away. We make time to see eachother at least a weekend a month and we skype/call etc..all the time. It does suck sometimes, dont get me wrong, there are days I really miss him like woah and wish i could drive down the road to his place. However I know the long distance is temp, and I love him so it is most def worh it. Im excited for the day we share the same house. There are positives and negatives just like any other kind of relationship, you just never know unless you try.