what would you do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2011 4:20 AM GMT
    ...if you knew that there is no possibility for you to come out of the closet, but at the same time circumstances are forcing you to live a life this society calls "normal" (be partnered with a woman, have kids, raise a family). How can you lead a happy life in this situation?

    There's no answer to this question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2011 4:38 AM GMT
    Advaya said

    There's no answer to this question.


    Well at least you set up the thread with lots of places for it to go.
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    May 26, 2011 4:43 AM GMT

    If there was no choice, it would be easy. We all are hetero by default. We make sperm, we are aroused by a breeze, just like straight men. If needed, you could close your eyes and imagine and if it was really needed and your imagination failed you, nature would compel you. This is why arousal is controlled by the mind not wholly by external circumstances. But I think you could find happiness with a female companion just as rich as with a man. We are talking more than sex and we are talking an intimate connection between two people. As far as kids, gay men love kids as we are uncles, brothers, god parents, parents, and foster parents, wouldn't be too lofty a switch to biological, wed, parent. What really makes us gay is that we have a choice and choose to indulge our preference for men. If there was no choice, there would be no gay.

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19133

    May 26, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    Advaya said...if you knew that there is no possibility for you to come out of the closet, but at the same time circumstances are forcing you to live a life this society calls "normal" (be partnered with a woman, have kids, raise a family). How can you lead a happy life in this situation?

    There's no answer to this question.



    Oh, I think there IS an answer to the question, because there is no such thing as "No possibility to come out of the closet" and if you are allowing circumstances to "force you to live a life SOCIETY calls NORMAL" then you only have yourself to blame. You're 28, not 17, and you live in Virginia, NOT Saudi Arabia. Grow some balls. Live your life.
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    May 26, 2011 4:44 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Advaya said

    There's no answer to this question.


    Well at least you set up the thread with lots of places for it to go.


    That's coming from me. I for one do not have an answer. I wouldnt post it otherwise. :-)
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    May 26, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Advaya said

    There's no answer to this question.


    Well at least you set up the thread with lots of places for it to go.


    Okay first thank you for the LOL.

    ----------

    But seriously, it depends on what you really believe you are. You can believe you are 100% straight and have all the social reasons in the world to keep doing that. I think those people can and are happy with their lives. They may have some times in their life with a biological orientation to homosexuality shows through but if they have a stable relationship those moments are probably rare.

    For those unfortunate people who know they are different but can't live how they really feel (gay!), I think they are pretty unhappy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2011 5:10 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Advaya said

    There's no answer to this question.


    Well at least you set up the thread with lots of places for it to go.


    LOL!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 26, 2011 7:16 AM GMT
    Do you honestly think that you're the only gay man who's married with children ?
    You have choices; lots of them.
    But, I think you're afraid to make them.
    You made this mess.
    And, it can't be completely changed to your satisfaction.

    Decide what your top priority is.

    BTW, if I was in your place, I'd pick up and move across the country, by myself, to a city that honors gay rights.
  • jpk090

    Posts: 71

    May 26, 2011 7:27 AM GMT
    Ariodante said
    Advaya said

    There's no answer to this question.


    Well at least you set up the thread with lots of places for it to go.


    that was good. +5

    how can you be happy? let's see... well, your sexuality shouldn't be the only thing contributing to your happiness. neither should love. I realize that many people live their life and make decisions that revolve around romantic love. personally, I don't feel that love--coming from a husband or wife, whoever they may be--is the sole proprietor of your happiness.

    love comes in many different forms, be it friends or family. as long as you have the love of those people... then you're set. your sexuality doesn't define you, though it is a definite part of your being.

    find yourself a stable job that you enjoy. drink good wine. travel. meet interesting people, and become an interesting person. treat your parents nicely. stay in touch with your siblings. dance around your apartment/house/shack naked. smoke a blunt. get in touch with some spirituality, be it god or simply the forces of the universe.

    these things I've listed above... that's what makes a happy life. not whether or not you can come out of the closet. and unless you are arranged to be married, which I doubt you are, I see no reason for you to be forced by circumstances to be partnered with a woman if you're gay.

    put aside romantic love and your sexuality and find other ways to be happy. that's my answer. despite the fact that you already insisted there wasn't one.
  • alphatop

    Posts: 1955

    May 26, 2011 8:07 AM GMT
    Advaya said...if you knew that there is no possibility for you to come out of the closet, but at the same time circumstances are forcing you to live a life this society calls "normal" (be partnered with a woman, have kids, raise a family). How can you lead a happy life in this situation?

    There's no answer to this question.


    Say whaaa?