steer clear of depressed guys?

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    May 28, 2011 2:38 AM GMT
    so if you met someone and got along great but found out they're depressed, would that turn you away? would you not want to deal with that drama?
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    May 28, 2011 2:40 AM GMT
    I have depression. icon_neutral.gif
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    May 28, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    nopes I wont turn away, might be a chance to help someone who really needs it.
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    May 28, 2011 2:49 AM GMT
    no cause i know how that feels. if he won't at least try to see the light when i say something to counter depressed conversation, than i'll have to be over it. if you like someone give them a chance. depends on how bad it is though.
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    May 28, 2011 3:12 AM GMT
    homo with depression =/= drama queen



    edit: "=/=" and "≠" are the same, just different ways of showing the same symbol. They both mean "does not equal to". To create less confusion I'll use "≠" from now on. thx~ icon_smile.gif
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    May 28, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    Cheer him up. He just might make YOU very happy.
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    May 28, 2011 3:23 AM GMT
    Guys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear. When things are that minor sometimes you can just be something positive in their life to help them turn things around and they become instantly grateful how easy it was to get back on the right track. In my experience it is just as easy as being a good listener, offering breadcrumb advice, and showing up with a cupcake for them at their office.

    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.

    I think you become an adult when you have dealt with both sorts of individuals, and when the next one comes around you know how to properly sort it into the correct box and accordingly make good decisions for your own life.

    If you are a "caretaker" sort of person - just grow a spine, move on, and find someone reasonably happy as they currently are. You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.
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    May 28, 2011 3:24 AM GMT
    Theyre the ones that need love the most...and wont fuck you over...so no
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    May 28, 2011 3:58 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.
    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.
    You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    Well, guys.... our resident expert on depression has spoken. So, anyone with "severe depression AND alcoholism" just sign up here for your rope, razor blades, small electrical appliances in water and sleeping pills. According to HIM, there is NO hope for you...so you might as well just off yourself and be happy that we have someone with such great power and knowledge, to say nothing of his compassion!!!
    Go back to your spaghetti-o's, you ignorant little shit!! Do you have ANY idea how your words might affect someone who actually have some serious depression issues??
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    May 28, 2011 4:14 AM GMT
    Friendsrbetter said
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.
    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.
    You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    Well, guys.... our resident expert on depression has spoken. So, anyone with "severe depression AND alcoholism" just sign up here for your rope, razor blades, small electrical appliances in water and sleeping pills. According to HIM, there is NO hope for you...so you might as well just off yourself and be happy that we have someone with such great power and knowledge, to say nothing of his compassion!!!
    Go back to your spaghetti-o's, you ignorant little shit!! Do you have ANY idea how your words might affect someone who actually have some serious depression issues??


    I'm not a fan of your posts but I absolutely LOVED what you said there. That was magnificently stated, and very true.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    May 28, 2011 4:18 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear. When things are that minor sometimes you can just be something positive in their life to help them turn things around and they become instantly grateful how easy it was to get back on the right track. In my experience it is just as easy as being a good listener, offering breadcrumb advice, and showing up with a cupcake for them at their office.

    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.

    I think you become an adult when you have dealt with both sorts of individuals, and when the next one comes around you know how to properly sort it into the correct box and accordingly make good decisions for your own life.

    If you are a "caretaker" sort of person - just grow a spine, move on, and find someone reasonably happy as they currently are. You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    are you speaking from experience or just passing your ignorant opinions off as facts?
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    May 28, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    If I already love the guy, there's no way would I turn him away/down for something as petty as that. It's not drama unless it's self-perpetuated.
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    May 28, 2011 4:26 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear. When things are that minor sometimes you can just be something positive in their life to help them turn things around and they become instantly grateful how easy it was to get back on the right track. In my experience it is just as easy as being a good listener, offering breadcrumb advice, and showing up with a cupcake for them at their office.

    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.

    I think you become an adult when you have dealt with both sorts of individuals, and when the next one comes around you know how to properly sort it into the correct box and accordingly make good decisions for your own life.

    If you are a "caretaker" sort of person - just grow a spine, move on, and find someone reasonably happy as they currently are. You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    Since Spaghetti is getting trashed here, I'll back him. Depression is a cruel bitch and I agree with him that if somebody is suffering from this horrible affliction, that it's important to realize that you're not going to "save them." Get over that and lose the savior complex.

    I have people in my life who have struggled with depression and they're good friends. But like Spaghetti, I will not be in a relationship with somebody who is suffering from long-term depression. In one relationship I had, I was fine with him being poz, but I broke it off when I realized that he had been seriously depressed for 10-12 years - there's no "fixing" that.

    Spaghetti seems to have struck a nerve with the 3 following posters but I agree with him. My personal response to the original poster (grandslam) is "been there, done that, and bailed - didn't want to deal with it - and would do it again tomorrow."

    It doesn't mean I don't have compassion for those who are struggling with it. I do. But I'm not prepared to be the other party in that relationship.
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    May 28, 2011 4:40 AM GMT
    stee99 said
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear. When things are that minor sometimes you can just be something positive in their life to help them turn things around and they become instantly grateful how easy it was to get back on the right track. In my experience it is just as easy as being a good listener, offering breadcrumb advice, and showing up with a cupcake for them at their office.

    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.

    I think you become an adult when you have dealt with both sorts of individuals, and when the next one comes around you know how to properly sort it into the correct box and accordingly make good decisions for your own life.

    If you are a "caretaker" sort of person - just grow a spine, move on, and find someone reasonably happy as they currently are. You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    are you speaking from experience or just passing your ignorant opinions off as facts?


    As one of the three trolls launching ad hominem in the thread, you are the only one with a real photo so you are the only one worth responding to. So re-read my post. Yes, I have personal experience. What ignorant opinion would it be? Ignorant means uneducated, unsophisticated, and lacking awareness - like the bleeding heart other trolls without even a face photo on this site. Real classy.

    Psychedelic picture lady - if words hurt that much, the bottle of pills is that way --> and you are not long for this world.

    No photo lady - sheep says WAT. Get a photo and your opinion might mean something to me.

    Outdoorathlete: very intelligent, well reasoned, and a pleasant response to read through. I enjoyed reading your post because we have both "been there" and a few years/months later we have both finally realized you can't sprinkle fairy dust and fix seriously broken people - something I felt personally lousy about for a long period of time. You are the voice of reason I wish I had in support of me a long time ago.
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    May 28, 2011 4:52 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster said
    As one of the three trolls launching ad hominem in the thread, you are the only one with a real photo so you are the only one worth responding to

    Psychedelic picture lady - if words hurt that much, the bottle of pills is that way --> and you are not long for this world.

    No photo lady - sheep says WAT. Get a photo and your opinion might mean something to me.

    Outdoorathlete: very intelligent, well reasoned, and a pleasant response to read through. I enjoyed reading your post because we have both "been there" and a few years/months later we have both finally realized you can't sprinkle fairy dust and fix seriously broken people - something I felt personally lousy about for a long period of time. You are the voice of reason I wish I had in support of me a long time ago.


    LMFAO. You are not just ignorant and inconsiderate but also lacking in common sense / intelligence. Friendsarebetter do have photos, and yes I am a real person I just chose not to up my photos. I can't believe you have nothing better to come back with other than that my profile doesn't have a pic, or friendsarebetter's main picture is a psychodelic one. You are purely selecting the importance of people's opinions based on their looks. That has got to be the saddest and funniest thing there is. I can see that you also failed your college classes when your professors were less-than-attractive, since you don't give a shit what they think of you because they weren't attractive.
  • stee99

    Posts: 317

    May 28, 2011 4:53 AM GMT
    spaghettimonster said
    stee99 said
    spaghettimonster saidGuys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear. When things are that minor sometimes you can just be something positive in their life to help them turn things around and they become instantly grateful how easy it was to get back on the right track. In my experience it is just as easy as being a good listener, offering breadcrumb advice, and showing up with a cupcake for them at their office.

    Guys with severe depression and alcoholism are only going to drag you down with them and I mean that as a serious warning. The spiral has probably started well before you met them and they either bring you down to their China town or they just make you feel so bad you are not able to do anything to help them, which can initiate your own spiral downwards separate and apart from what they are going through. There is nothing worse than just quietly observing someone throwing their life away as you feel entirely powerless to direct any sort of positive change in their life. Unfortunately I feel really bad about people throwing their life away but I refuse to get involved with it any longer - I now run, not walk away.

    I think you become an adult when you have dealt with both sorts of individuals, and when the next one comes around you know how to properly sort it into the correct box and accordingly make good decisions for your own life.

    If you are a "caretaker" sort of person - just grow a spine, move on, and find someone reasonably happy as they currently are. You can't fix serious depression and you will just feel bad when your cupcakes and mix tapes don't do anything.


    are you speaking from experience or just passing your ignorant opinions off as facts?


    As one of the three trolls launching ad hominem in the thread, you are the only one with a real photo so you are the only one worth responding to. So re-read my post. Yes, I have personal experience. What ignorant opinion would it be? Ignorant means uneducated, unsophisticated, and lacking awareness - like the bleeding heart other trolls without even a face photo on this site. Real classy.

    Psychedelic picture lady - if words hurt that much, the bottle of pills is that way --> and you are not long for this world.

    No photo lady - sheep says WAT. Get a photo and your opinion might mean something to me.

    Outdoorathlete: very intelligent, well reasoned, and a pleasant response to read through. I enjoyed reading your post because we have both "been there" and a few years/months later we have both finally realized you can't sprinkle fairy dust and fix seriously broken people - something I felt personally lousy about for a long period of time. You are the voice of reason I wish I had in support of me a long time ago.


    If i was trolling you i would have done a better job, you were coming across in a very callous and cavalier way with your 'you cant fix serious depression' line which says to me that you have little empathy for someone unwell.
    Also saying 'Guys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.' is pretty shallow, tho it;s something i'll keep in mind the next time im wanting to look cute or score a pity fuck.
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    May 28, 2011 4:54 AM GMT
    Animus saidIf I already love the guy, there's no way would I turn him away/down for something as petty as that. It's not drama unless it's self-perpetuated.


    Exactly...people always want to label every little thing that's not prefect as drama.

    Sometimes being single can trigger temporary 'acute' depression. People on the site talk about it all the time. Everyone else is getting married and having kids except for them. How does that make a single person feel? Lucky? Maybe...but not always. There's a good chance that becoming involved with them will make them happier.

    I don't know what's up with the deep examples of depression. Depression doesn't always involve razors and sleeping pills and getting drunk. It can be mild or it can be severe.

    I just wonder, how would one 'find out' someone was depressed? Was it that obvious?
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    May 28, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    Well the votes are in, and it seems that there are only TWO jerks who think anyone with severe depression should be ostracized from society.
    And to the ONLY TWO negative posters: You guys would make GREAT Nazi's !!!

    AND, just for the record, I don't read anywhere that the OP was talking about a relationship.
    "It doesn't mean I don't have compassion for those who are struggling with it. I do. But I'm not prepared to be the other party in that relationship."

    You sure as hell don't show much compassion in THIS post!!!
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    May 28, 2011 4:55 AM GMT
    Anduru saidI have depression. icon_neutral.gif


    I AM FUCKING STEERRING CLEARING OF YOU YOU DEPRESSED ASSHOLE!!!!icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif
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    May 28, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    stee99 said
    If i was trolling you i would have done a better job, you were coming across in a very callous and cavalier way with your 'you cant fix serious depression' line which says to me that you have little empathy for someone unwell.
    Also saying 'Guys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.' is pretty shallow, tho it;s something i'll keep in mind the next time im wanting to look cute or score a pity fuck.


    LMFAO win
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    May 28, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    Animus saidIf I already love the guy, there's no way would I turn him away/down for something as petty as that. It's not drama unless it's self-perpetuated.


    I wouldn't call depression petty if it's severe. In fact, I don't think you or most people on RJ could handle it. I don't think I could handle it. I don't think anyone could handle it unless they've had depression themselves.
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    May 28, 2011 4:56 AM GMT
    stee99 said
    spaghettimonster said
    stee99 said
    spaghettimonster said



    If i was trolling you i would have done a better job, you were coming across in a very callous and cavalier way with your 'you cant fix serious depression' line which says to me that you have little empathy for someone unwell.
    Also saying 'Guys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.' is pretty shallow, tho it;s something i'll keep in mind the next time im wanting to look cute or score a pity fuck.


    I think the word you're looking for is "sociopath".


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    May 28, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    cityaznguy saidhomo with depression =/= drama queen


    You seem to be one of the biggest drama queens on RJ.... does that also make you "homo with depression" ???
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    May 28, 2011 5:16 AM GMT
    Animus saidstee99 said
    spaghettimonster said
    stee99 said
    spaghettimonster said



    If i was trolling you i would have done a better job, you were coming across in a very callous and cavalier way with your 'you cant fix serious depression' line which says to me that you have little empathy for someone unwell.
    Also saying 'Guys with mild depression are cute and you want to hug them like an adorable teddy bear.' is pretty shallow, tho it;s something i'll keep in mind the next time im wanting to look cute or score a pity fuck.


    I think the word you're looking for is "sociopath".




    Good, the expert and dually-appointed clinical psychologist Psy.D/Psychiatrist M.D. has chimed in. Do you even know what axis and cluster of the DSM you just mentioned? Yeah, google it. We are waiting ... for everyone who hasn't passed an Abnormal Psych class in the past decade to round out their liberal arts requirements.

    waimea said
    spaghettimonster said
    As one of the three trolls launching ad hominem in the thread, you are the only one with a real photo so you are the only one worth responding to

    Psychedelic picture lady - if words hurt that much, the bottle of pills is that way --> and you are not long for this world.

    No photo lady - sheep says WAT. Get a photo and your opinion might mean something to me.

    Outdoorathlete: very intelligent, well reasoned, and a pleasant response to read through. I enjoyed reading your post because we have both "been there" and a few years/months later we have both finally realized you can't sprinkle fairy dust and fix seriously broken people - something I felt personally lousy about for a long period of time. You are the voice of reason I wish I had in support of me a long time ago.


    LMFAO. You are not just ignorant and inconsiderate but also lacking in common sense / intelligence. Friendsarebetter do have photos, and yes I am a real person I just chose not to up my photos. I can't believe you have nothing better to come back with other than that my profile doesn't have a pic, or friendsarebetter's main picture is a psychodelic one. You are purely selecting the importance of people's opinions based on their looks. That has got to be the saddest and funniest thing there is. I can see that you also failed your college classes when your professors were less-than-attractive, since you don't give a shit what they think of you because they weren't attractive.


    Uber burn with one doctoral degree on my wall and another dissertation defense pending on a second doctoral degree. UBER UBER BURN.


    General advice: if you are depressed go get a psychiatrist and some happy pills, not a boyfriend to drag down into your black pit of despair with you. If you want evidentiary proof of this - refer to this thread of people [presumably] recovering from depression and how lousy they want to treat other people through personal attacks, rather than educating them on the hardships they suffered.

    Caretakers should adopt a cute puppy - they might chew your shoes but they won't backtalk you.
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    May 28, 2011 5:20 AM GMT
    JB82 said
    Anduru saidI have depression. icon_neutral.gif


    " I AM FUCKING STEERRING CLEARING OF YOU YOU DEPRESSED ASSHOLE!!!!"

    Hey, Jake... not only is your spelling bad, but your grammar is atrocious!!
    I DO have to agree with you...somewhat... but if you're going to say something like this, ya might wanna use your spell check first....icon_lol.gif