Meetup.com....anyone tried it?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 3:53 AM GMT
    Hey everyone...just went to my 1st meetup thing for the website.

    It was a kickball and beer tournament type thing. It was pretty fun and all, if anybody local wants details feel free to PM me.

    However, only thing I was a bit put off by was the fact that it was advertised as a gay meetup type thing. But when I got there, the 2 lesbian couples who organize it were not there and it turned out most of the people there were straight. Upon closer inspection, it was 'marketed' to Adult Kickball, Make New Friends, Fun Times, Social Networking, Singles and Couples, Straight and Gay Welcome, New In Town, Friends, Beer Which means anyone searching those categories could stumble upon the event.

    So, even though it was somewhat a good time it still didn't meet the purpose that I intended on doing, which was to connect with people on a 'gay level'. At the end they were all talking about going to a bar, and not a single gay club was mentioned in town. I thought to myself, what in the world? I felt a bit mislead to think it was specifically gay. Once I found out that I had absolutely nothing in common with this group, I found it better to just head home rather than extending the meeting by hanging out with them at a bar afterwards like they were suggesting. However, I'm not saying that I didn't chat with people or anything and they seemed pretty cool, but I didn't really feel included once it moved to bar talk...

    Not that I avoid straight people, but I just didn't have much in common with the straight people who were there. Most had to be atleast 10 years my senior, some probably 20 years.

    So....tonight it's get dressed and head back downtown. I just didn't get my fill from the meetup group. But I won't say it'll be the last time I'll go. I'm still convinced the bars and online have become increasingly futile in trying to connect with much of anyone. But at the same time they still have their place. It's like you either like each other or you don't. There's not much guessing beyond that.

    OK...this is so going on my blog!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 3:59 AM GMT
    Going on two meetup events this weekend. Will let you know.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 4:27 AM GMT
    wrestlervic saidGoing on two meetup events this weekend. Will let you know.



    What does your meetups involve?
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 28, 2011 5:37 AM GMT
    Don't put yourself in a box. Hang out with them and go from there. You keep saying how you're tied with the Denver gay scene. See how the straight scene is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 5:41 AM GMT
    Stop digging a gaping hole for yourself with these typical threads, I'm starting to feel bad for you icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 5:55 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Not that I avoid straight people, but I just didn't have much in common with the straight people who were there. Most had to be atleast 10 years my senior, some probably 20 years.


    Don't worry about saying ur not into straight people. Even though you may not be explicitly interested in dating a gay guy at the moment, you'd like the moment to present itself while you do social activities with other people. I can see a single woman or a man saying the same thing if they were at an all gay event. Being that gay people are at these heterosexual events for most of their life, it gets pretty fucking annoying when there a billion social events will little opportunity for romance to be kindled.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 28, 2011 6:14 PM GMT
    JB82 said
    Don't worry about saying ur not into straight people. Even though you may not be explicitly interested in dating a gay guy at the moment, you'd like the moment to present itself while you do social activities with other people. I can see a single woman or a man saying the same thing if they were at an all gay event. Being that gay people are at these heterosexual events for most of their life, it gets pretty fucking annoying when there a billion social events will little opportunity for romance to be kindled.


    Yeah it's just that I have mingled in and out of the straight scene for years now. I used to go to straight clubs with 2 girls from college and although we had a good time it didn't get the same purpose they intended, which was to meet guys. My brother would drag me along to straight clubs in the area and it was mostly a people watching thing more than anything.

    I don't see what's the petty comments for. Think of it this way, how often do you see a single straight girl or a single straight man going by himself to a gay event or any event where it's mainly gay? The only time you will see them is if they are with someone who is gay, or if they WORK there. Like cop, bouncer, bartender or dancer. They would have probably walked away before EVEN playing let alone stay for 2.5 hours, associate and play a game with the gay people.

    It's not so much about digging a hole. It's about having a common ground with people with like interests. I don't believe in just hanging out with 'ANY body' just because they are there. Sure we could play kickball or whatever, but when you start talking about a 23 y/o gay Black guy going to a straight bar with a group of 30s and 40s group of White people, then you realize you might need to branch off your separate ways. And there is nothing wrong with that. Sure I could have continued on anyway and hung out with them at the bar and not satisfy the main purpose of going or I could have gone my separate ways, thanked them for coming out and went to a bar.

    ...And that's exactly what I did. Went to a bar, got a couple numbers, did my thing and came home in the morning.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    wrestlervic saidGoing on two meetup events this weekend. Will let you know.



    What does your meetups involve?


    OK, went on two, a gay hiking club, and a movie club (open to all). Met a hip, funny girl on the hike (great sense of humor and sweet) and also met a woman last night on a movie Meetup. She asked me to friend her on Facebook and she just bought my book!

    So, yeah. Worth it. But as far as hooking up with hot guys, not this time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2011 7:42 PM GMT
    wrestlervic said
    OK, went on two, a gay hiking club, and a movie club (open to all). Met a hip, funny girl on the hike (great sense of humor and sweet) and also met a woman last night on a movie Meetup. She asked me to friend her on Facebook and she just bought my book!

    So, yeah. Worth it. But as far as hooking up with hot guys, not this time.


    Cool, lol.

    I was just going to say, on the last meetup the ones being the more open were 2 women.

    I think I'll still go to the next meetup this coming Friday. Hell, it's just something to do and get out the house and away from all this shady judgmental online stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2011 7:59 PM GMT
    BRAVO for you! Even if you're not completely comfortable with the mix of people, you are atleast giving 'Difference' a try.

    I'm wishing you some truly happy serendipity in one of these meetups. Perhaps an older hetero white lady comes up to you to tell you about her wonderful neighbor. She tells you that he's got muscles like yours and oh so handsome....and single.

    Or maybe she'll just offer you a really great cheesecake recipe.

    Either way, I hope your openness will be rewarded.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 01, 2011 8:23 PM GMT
    How was it originally advertised to begin with to make you assume that it was marketed for gay folks?

    I'm glad you went out and did something new even if you still seem disappointed with the turn out. So it was a mixture of straight and gay, single and couples. Big deal. Make the most of it and mingle. Social network it and expand your views.

    I fail to see what the problem is. What don't you have in common with a straight person besides the obvious fact that they are straight and you are gay? If you go labeling things that way you'll find yourself very limited.

    I say you should go again and keep doing it. I'll bet my pay check you meet some cool folks and possible another gay dude who might turn you on to some fun things about Denver you didn't know about.

    Best of luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 03, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    Guy101 saidHow was it originally advertised to begin with to make you assume that it was marketed for gay folks?

    What don't you have in common with a straight person besides the obvious fact that they are straight and you are gay?


    Well, when I typed in gay meetups denver the options were limited to about 6 events. In this was included the kickball game. The organizers of the event are lesbian. That's how I thought it was geared towards gay folks.

    It's not so much I don't have much in common, but let's face it...when it comes down to it our interests are going to be different. For example, after the game they were discussing bars and talking about going to a straight bar. What am I supposed to do at a straight bar? There's nothing in it for me. Sure, maybe some bi-sexual guy that hooks up with dudes on the side (like probably how most of these guys on RJ are. At least that's all I've met IF they don't have a BF alread) but I don't want that.

    Remember, I delved in the straight scene for years as a teen and pre-teen prior to joining the gay scene. I know what single straight people talk about (pussy, ass, girls). It's all fine and dandy but I don't want to waste my time getting back into that on the premise of something 'might' happen. That's why I seek out gay oriented things...but the only options seem like the bars and online.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 04, 2011 4:56 PM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Guy101 saidHow was it originally advertised to begin with to make you assume that it was marketed for gay folks?

    What don't you have in common with a straight person besides the obvious fact that they are straight and you are gay?


    Well, when I typed in gay meetups denver the options were limited to about 6 events. In this was included the kickball game. The organizers of the event are lesbian. That's how I thought it was geared towards gay folks.

    It's not so much I don't have much in common, but let's face it...when it comes down to it our interests are going to be different. For example, after the game they were discussing bars and talking about going to a straight bar. What am I supposed to do at a straight bar? There's nothing in it for me. Sure, maybe some bi-sexual guy that hooks up with dudes on the side (like probably how most of these guys on RJ are. At least that's all I've met IF they don't have a BF alread) but I don't want that.

    Remember, I delved in the straight scene for years as a teen and pre-teen prior to joining the gay scene. I know what single straight people talk about (pussy, ass, girls). It's all fine and dandy but I don't want to waste my time getting back into that on the premise of something 'might' happen. That's why I seek out gay oriented things...but the only options seem like the bars and online.



    Keep in mind I'm being both serious and funny with my comment and I don't mean any disrespect by it. If you take it that way then that's on you.

    Ok. So the search engine on your browser pulled up 6 gay events and you picked one that was organized by some lesbians. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that there was probably more to the ad but you neglected to fully read through it so jumped to conclusions and assumed it was an all gay thing. An honest mistake and we've all done it especially when searching for those similar to us. Happens to the best of us.

    As for interests with a straight folks...? Again I'm baffled. So the people you kicked a ball with decided to go to a bar. Just a bar. All bars are the same minus whatever gimmick they have that makes them unique. You're the only one putting labels on the activities and the places you go. Just go out and mingle. The purpose of going out to bars be they straight, gay or whatever is to drink, enjoy the company you are with and just have a regular good time. Anything else that happens is a bonus but it won't happen unless you put some effort into it. You are comparing adults to teens and there is a great difference between the two in mentality, conversation topics and in activities I assure you. I doubt teenagers are talking about 401k's and stock prices and the straight people you say that just talk about sex are just immature. No different than a gay person who just talks about sex. LOL. The whole "I delved in the straight scene for years as a teen and pre teen" schtick sounds more like an excuse then an actual reason and need I remind you to remember that the majority of us (your audience) have you beat you in that aspect by age alone as to say we've been there and done that. What exactly do gay people talk about that is different then straight people? As it stands gays talk more about sex then straight people do so if you are looking for a different venue of conversation it would stand to reason that talking to straight folk would be more beneficial for you unless of course you'd rather talk to someone you actually have a chance of having sex with which in this case talking to gays would be the obvious choice.

    I'm gonna let you in on a little secret and once you hear it you might smack yourself in the head. YOU ARE ALREADY LIVING THE PREMISE OF SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN.

    Every day you wake up and go to sleep...something might happen. Every step you take or breathe you take...something might happen. Every "hi" to "goodbye" said in passing...something might happen. Anything and everything you do something might happen and it's going to continue to be that way until you die. Doesn't matter what the setting or scene is. Case in point: You got online and found that site with the kickball and decided to go to it. Why? Because something might have happened. When you got to the location and saw what was going on as well as who the majority of your company was you had the option of either leaving or staying. You elected to stay. Why? Because something might have happened. See how this is working out? If you weren't all that interested you would've left but you didn't for the simple fact that you thought something might've happened and that's a good approach to an extent. What you want to happen and what actually does happen are two different things but that's getting getting too deep now. LOL.

    Your options as far as the clubs and the online biz seem limiting and I dare say that they are a comfort zone for you because that might be all you actually know (no offense). You really need to step outside your box and I mean that in a nice way. I glad to see you went to this function and I hope you continue to do more stuff like this. If you really want to get into more gay oriented stuff then hit up your gay community center and volunteer for stuff. Take some of that club time you seem to have plenty of and devote it to something more wholesome and productive. Overall it is fun and it gives you something to talk about next time you hang out with some buddies after another kickball session in a straight bar, gay bar or any any setting for that matter.

    Best of luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 05, 2011 4:19 AM GMT
    ^^^

    Ok, the above chapter wasn't as harsh as I thought it would be LOL.

    But, the good news is I actually did force myself out to the game again Friday night, albeit I was over an hour late debating if I even wanted to go. And I'm happy to say I didn't regret it! I kept thinking about what you said and realized it's true, there really isn't a big difference between gay and straight except the fact we like different things in bed!

    Basically just went there, bought along some beer and played didn't really have anything in mind and wasn't expecting to really meet anyone.BUT I wanted to meet someone.

    Well, same people from last time were there and this time we ended up going back to 1 of the guy's place and had a blast til 2 am. Drinks, drinks and more drinks but also good convo with 2 girls and 2 mature guys who actually had something going for themselves LOL. They were from out of the country working for good companies. I don't want to speak too soon for them as I still don't 'know' them know them...but Scandinavians have got to be some of the most welcoming White people you'll ever meet. That's why people here don't understand me when I talk about people from America. I really don't think they are all THAT friendly. Just because someone smiles and says hi doesn't mean they are friendly. That's just common courtesy. People in America have a lot of hidden boundaries and guards put up. Especially when it comes to having a minority person around White people. In Scandinavia all the shit that went down here never happened plus they don't have that many as it is. So I'm just a different color person with no 'stigma' attached to it like it is here in America. You've got 2 straight White guys (1 might be bisexual though LOL) bending over backwards to make sure I'm comfortable at their place. And they don't even know I'm gay so I could have been 'competition' to the other 2 girls there, but it wasn't even like that...

    So I will certainly continue to go to meetups even if they are straight. I think they really take the pressure off 'dating' and the club scene which is so shallow. I find most gay guys only acknowledge you when they want to fuck you. Or if they can use you for something.

    Of course, there is a truth to everything I say. Once we got back to their place, the guy kind of did his own thing with the girl....and I didn't notice any gay people on the last meetup either. In addition, there was a accused NUT at the meetup who apparently called one of the girls 100 times and then at the end of the game was trying to figure out a place to sleep for the night. I could hardly figure out his situation because the girls kept telling me, "don't give him your number! just walk away!" I felt really bad for him, but at the same time I am trying to eliminate the liability in my life as I've picked people up and helped them out more times than what was good for me!

    So the verdict? Meetup is good for interaction period. I think straight people get more mileage in this particular event, but if I ever wanted to become straight I know just what to do LOL. At several points I was thinking about telling them I was gay, but I didn't see any merit of doing so. Unless someone asked me to sleep with them, it wasn't anyone's business. I think 1 of the girls was trying to hit up on me, but I didn't feel it was the right time to say anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jun 06, 2011 1:25 AM GMT
    LOL. Honey, they probably already know you are gay and just don't care to ask because they honestly don't care given the fact that they did go a social function that says it's open to all sexes. It's a given that when you meet people act functions like that they tend to be open to everyone they meet. If they were homophobic in anyway I assure you they wouldn't have even bothered going unless they are weirdos and like to cause drama.

    If anything you should use the fact that you are gay to your advantage. In this case I bet it will work in your favor and I'm willing to bet they (the people you've met) might try to hook you up with other folks similar to you. That stuff happens all the time. "Oh I know a friend who you might like. Let's all have lunch together and you can meet him." It's called social networking and it does wonders.

    No offense but you do think you are going to notice any gay folks at this place. You just said that the people you hang with don't know you are gay or rather you don't think they know so who's to say that there aren't other gay folks there. Maybe like you they just don't advertise and draw attention to themselves. Always remember that whatever is good for the goose is good for the gander. Also remember that you'll never see a tiger in elephant grass until it's too late.

    I mean this in the nicest way possible. STOP using the race card. That just makes you sound like a completely different person and I certainly hope you don't go around actually talking like that. Stop with the generalizations of the race of people you deal with. It sounds a bit tart on your part and unless you've ever been to Europe and other places outside the USA you are treading a thin line when you make comparisons like that. It just doesn't sound nice and also you seem to hyping yourself up a bit like you a unique type of black person. That will bite you in the ass if you keep it up. I'm telling you this as a person with just a bit more experience then you and I'm trying to do it in a nice way.

    As for the NUT running around the function goes...? Take caution to what the ladies said and apply your better judgement on the situation. Apply caution where necessary with this dude.

    Glad to see you hung out again at the function and got involved with some folks. It shows progress and it will bear fruit eventually.