Is age an issue?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 6:41 AM GMT
    Is age really a factor when you are talking to someone? I am not talking about an 18 year old talking to a 40 year old, but an 18 year old talking to someone in their 20's or even 30's.

    Is there a premature judgment on maturity? Having things in common may lack?

    Give me reasons why people may feel that age is an "ice breaker"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 7:00 AM GMT
    Depends on the guy and the difference and what. Ages.
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    May 29, 2011 7:11 AM GMT
    Guys don't need an excuse to make something into an issue. Cereal is an issue. Socks are an issue. I don't like his haircut is an issue. If they want they'll find anything to convince themselves to back away.
  • RickRick23

    Posts: 24

    May 29, 2011 7:28 AM GMT
    icon_razz.gif I swear I've seen a similar topic post like 3 times this week..

    It's an interesting one though, I'd say for me at 23 I feel like I have more in common and more to learn from with a 30 year old than I do with a fellow 23 year old, I'm fascinated with guys that know more about all aspects of life. It's a turn on to me that a guy has already experienced what I'm about to go through and can help me understand the complexity that is myself even if it's just a little bit. I just like adults.

    God I sound like I have daddy issues re-reading that paragraph...I don't I swear. lol icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 29, 2011 7:32 AM GMT
    RickRick23 saidicon_razz.gif I swear I've seen a similar topic post like 3 times this week..


    Welcome to RealJock!! =DD That's our official site motto, "This thread's already been done several times".
  • epinephrine

    Posts: 13

    May 29, 2011 8:13 AM GMT
    i just turned 20 and i have a tendency to go for guys who are older than me..basically those who are around 28-30icon_redface.gif
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    May 29, 2011 8:58 AM GMT
    Hmmm - depends what the conversation is about. I'm always good to have a talk about running or music, so I'll quite happily chat away to someone half my age about this.

    For some flirting/sex, I prefer guys around my own age unless you're a hot muscle daddy ... get to the front of the queue any HMDS reading this!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 9:07 AM GMT
    Definitely premature judgement on my part.

    I remember it was like 2 months ago that my ex told me one of his best friends, age 23, had just started dating an 18 year old fresh out of high school. And he said don't be judgmental, she's different and very mature for her age.

    I laughed. Because everyone said the same thing about me and I was a wreck. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted out of life, thought because I did amazing in school and was president of 3 different college organizations that I had shown my responsibility and knowledge of the world. Really I was still just a kid, and I have changed SO MUCH over the years through simple life experiences.

    I know everyone's different and I've met the young guys that say they've had their own apartment since they were 16 and all the war stories that caused them to grow up quicker and yet when many of them say I am mature for my age, they are often times only referring to their ability to keep a job and pay bills. Immature people can do that too.

    I can be friends with an 18 and a 19 year, but I could not date one. Its from simply projecting my younger self onto others. I just naturally assume that they have so much to learn before I could feel safe being in a relationship with them. Which makes me a bit of a hypochrite because my best friends at the moment are between the ages of 26 and 29 and we share tons of stuff in common even though I'm only 22.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 9:18 AM GMT
    I'm 21 and I'm planning a date with a 46 year old for this week.
    We actually have a lot in common - taste in music, movies, and even video games.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 10:12 AM GMT
    Personally can be friends with anyone ages doesn’t matter in that depratment, I am however comfortable dating someone around my own age bracket.
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    May 29, 2011 2:21 PM GMT
    It can be. It just depends on the subject matter really. For example: I'm 41 and my coworker (also gay) is 35. Over half the things I say he has no clue about. All in all if you have something in common then you have something to talk about. If the subject matter is of interest you have something to talk about.

    But age by itself? No, it's not a problem unless you want it to be.
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    May 29, 2011 4:12 PM GMT
    SO TRUE!!! age is an issue if u make it one...im 18(almost 19) and i've dated this guy who just turned 34 and we have so much chemistry, we get along real well...so take it from me it's def. age is as much of an issue as the color of his eyes icon_wink.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    May 29, 2011 4:18 PM GMT
    Ice Breaker or Deal Breaker?

    It sure is a deal breaker for many. As soon as some guys find out my age they are immediately not interested.

    As for myself, if there happens to be a great age difference, it is a concern, but not a deal breaker.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    May 29, 2011 4:20 PM GMT
    epinephrine saidi just turned 20 and i have a tendency to go for guys who are older than me..basically those who are around 28-30icon_redface.gif


    I'm not sure if 8 yrs difference could be considered an age gap.
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    May 29, 2011 4:39 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidGuys don't need an excuse to make something into an issue. Cereal is an issue. Socks are an issue. I don't like his haircut is an issue. If they want they'll find anything to convince themselves to back away.

    Well said man and it's so true.
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    May 29, 2011 4:43 PM GMT
    It depends on the context of the meeting. When I receive emails or what not from 21 year olds here on RJ, I will always talk, say hi, etc. If someone comes up to me at a gay event or get-together IRL, I'll chat. When I get a Grindr message from a 21yo, that's different. Although I hate to admit it icon_wink.gif I am old enough now that I seem to set off a daddy thing in some young guys, and I'm not interested in playing that. Even random hookups with guys that young feel... not wrong, but just unbalanced.
    Not pretending I never do, but I'm trying to back away from hookups with such a large age gap, as I don't feel I will ever be able to make a real connection with someone that much younger than me and that a hookup is all it will ever be. If I know that going in, I probably have better things to do. icon_cool.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    May 29, 2011 4:47 PM GMT
    I am so glad someone brought this up because we have never covered this pressing topic here at RJ icon_rolleyes.gif


    YES, it's an issue, but not necessarily a DEAL BREAKER depending on a variety of factors and the two people involved. If the chemistry is right between two people, they can work through anything if they want to badly enough.
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    May 29, 2011 5:07 PM GMT
    age usually isn't an issue but age difference def. can be. i can't date someone my own age or younger usually, there's a lot of things they don't seem to understand. with dating guys a lot older than me, the idea that they're probably leaving earth way before me kind of scares the shit out of me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 5:10 PM GMT
    Yes, is an issue when someone older than my dad (39) gets offended when I say I'm only interested in dating in my age group.
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    May 29, 2011 5:12 PM GMT
    Chattman91 saidYes, is an issue when someone older than my dad (39) gets offended when I say I'm only interested in dating in my age group.


    Same for me. I doubt I would date anyone under the age of 35. I have nothing in common with them. There is a difference in point of reference for things and economically. While I am flattered when someone under 30 thinks im hot or wants to date me, the chances are very low I would actually do it unless we really clicked and they had their shit together emotionally and professionally.
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    May 29, 2011 5:14 PM GMT
    Chattman91 saidYes, is an issue when someone older than my dad (39) gets offended when I say I'm only interested in dating in my age group.



    I think that's fair, but make sure you don't get offended when someone says they don't want to date anyone outside their ethnic group.
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    May 29, 2011 5:19 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Chattman91 saidYes, is an issue when someone older than my dad (39) gets offended when I say I'm only interested in dating in my age group.



    I think that's fair, but make sure you don't get offended when someone says they don't want to date anyone outside their ethnic group.


    You're right; age and ethnicity go hand-in-hand. I was born 19 with great skin.
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    May 29, 2011 6:13 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Chattman91 saidYes, is an issue when someone older than my dad (39) gets offended when I say I'm only interested in dating in my age group.



    I think that's fair, but make sure you don't get offended when someone says they don't want to date anyone outside their ethnic group.


    Why are you stirring shit up? You couldn't just stayed in the context of age? You have to bring up race/ethnicity too?!
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    May 29, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    i think age and ethnicity are of equal importance, completely irrelevant though. he's being pretty assumptive of chattman, who's to say he would've been offended.
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    May 29, 2011 6:36 PM GMT
    Not with me, but I think I feel a little more comfortable around guys 40 and over.