move or stay ?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    Long story short, I lived in Phoenix for all of six months in 2004. Otherwise, I have been in Cincinnati all my life. I came back to help mom as my fathers health was becoming an issue.

    Seven years later, his health is still an issue, they are in a better living situation ( not perfect though ) and I want to go back.

    My reasons to move then ( and now ) 1. JOB- I work in government; my current place of employment is a joke. People abuse sick time, people are rude to citizens on a daily basis ( management does NOTHING about it ) there is NO SENSE of URGENCY at work, and no attention to detail. Yes, these are a few things I feel are important in what I do. 2. WEATHER-- I love the sun, I love the ridiculously dry heat of the desert, I HATE the cold, the eternal shroud of clouds that is Cincinnati from Oct- April. 3. GAY- let's face it, Cincinnati is no gay mecca. Phoenix may not be either, but it seems several steps closer.

    While in Phoenix in 2004, the city workers that I was blessed to be with were NONE of the above. The two cities I am applying for work at now are run just as well ( I have done some homework and talked with people there )

    I guess my ultimate question is; am I being selfish in wanting to lead a better life for me finally at age 48 ? Mom knows what she needs to do to enrich her life and refuses to heed those messages. I feel I am at a stop gap with her. I cut the grass, fix things, listen to her rants and raves on the phone, but she won't address the real issues and I can't do that for her.

    Your thoughts and opinions... thanks for listening !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2011 10:39 PM GMT
    Ultimately you need to be happy with yourself. So do whatever makes you feel good. Talking in green makes me feel good so I'm gonna do it from now on.

    453902660v3_225x225_Front.jpg
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    May 30, 2011 12:24 AM GMT
    I remind myself every morning that I can't meet anyone else's needs if I can't meet my own first. You're doomed if you can't look out for yourself. It's commendable to stay and look after your parents, but from your point of view you've already stated you're not doing a whole lot.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 1:17 AM GMT
    deltalimen saidI remind myself every morning that I can't meet anyone else's needs if I can't meet my own first. You're doomed if you can't look out for yourself. It's commendable to stay and look after your parents, but from your point of view you've already stated you're not doing a whole lot.


    You are true. I know the answer... I guess I am seeking affirmation merely because I generally lack confidence when it comes to decisions like this.

    Thank you for your input.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 30, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    Move always better than stay. Think Thelma and Louise. Get in the car and step on the accerlator.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 30, 2011 1:28 AM GMT
    You need to go. You've helped your parents (and can again), but you need to live life for yourself.... make sure you know how expensive it is in Phoenix, but I'd want to if I were in your shoes. Must make sure all is in order first..

    Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    Do what ya gotta do! Be sure you are able to live with the choice you make!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 1:31 AM GMT
    How can one be happy if they are living for someone else? If your mother refuses to take your advice, then it is out of your hands and you need to do what makes you happy. You're 48- it's time for you to live your life and be who you want to be. I wish you the best of luck with jobs and finding yourself along the way.
  • TheIStrat

    Posts: 777

    May 30, 2011 1:32 AM GMT
    Get the hell out of there
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 1:35 AM GMT
    move
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    May 30, 2011 1:38 AM GMT
    hard lesson learned, you're the only one that can make yourself happy
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    May 30, 2011 2:05 AM GMT
    You're a terrific son. But like the others have said, it's time to pull up stakes.

    Move.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 2:16 AM GMT
    Its great that you are taking care of your parents. But if that is somehow causing you unhappiness you should listen to your heart and move, because one day it might just make you blame taking care of your parents for you to lead unhappy life.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 30, 2011 2:25 AM GMT
    Our parents job is to give us everything we need to grow up big and strong and able to take care of ourselves.
    Then, it's their duty to push us out of the nest.

    All we owe them is to be some sort of success in life.
    That's it.

    GO, GO, GO.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 2:39 AM GMT
    I seeeee a concensus forming . You are all too kind for taking time to answer . Bless you all icon_smile.gif