May 30, 2011 2:56 AM GMT
So I saw the second Twilight movie New Moon for sale somewhere and I almost bought it. The only problem is I'm a vampire movie puritan and I did weep when they changed my dark specter into a glowy, emo, teen dream. I didn't even watch Twilight in protest, but I hear it stank and only merchandise success got part 2 green lit. I hate teen movies, but I do love SOAP operas: misty eyed souls pontificating over problems that aren't really problems. You find out your boyfriend CAN NEVER die, how's that a crying thing?
Anyway, I'd love to see a soap opera "horror" movie, but I did declare that I hated Twilight for tarnishing the image of one of horrors most beloved.
The movie is for sale at my favorite haunt, "The Smoke Shop," even though I don't smoke, his dvd's are $2.50 a piece. They sale black light posters, incense, bongs and other paraphernalia for "tobacco" smoking , also. I got G.I Joe, Crank 2, Dark Knight, and Pirates of the Caribbean 2 there for that price recently. I know, steal, right? I like the owners too, they all look like rock people from a really hip address in New York. One of them, Joe is from Rhode Island or something and is so cute: edgy haircut, porcelain skin, dark eyes like black holes and tattoos all over, a very distinctive scorpion on his neck. He's so hot; I've bought so many movies over him. There is also this rocker chick who obviously likes Gwen Stefani because she's gone blond and will wear a fitted suit jacket with a shimmery top underneath and a rose pinned to it, so Gwen. Then there is another guy who's name I don't know; he looks like Jensen Ackles (no lie); he talks my ear off when I go in there. I haven't been talking to him lately though. He seems sad over it, but he confirmed his straightness to me, which I just need time to get over it. Lastly, Boss Man, he's as dirty looking as he sounds, but he's got the most brilliant shimmering eyes that pop out from under his perpetually furrowed brow.
Anyway, love them, but what will they think of me if I'm caught dead buying New Moon? Ack, they are the coolest people I know. Plus, what will GOD think? I'm going back there tomorrow to maybe buy it, if it is there still (of course, it will be). I also want to buy Secret Garden, which I saw there and didn't buy because people are going to think I'm a pussy. especially if I buy them both at the same time tomorrow I bet Boss Man describes me as the "big black guy who only buys kick ass testosterone injected action porn." Now he and every kick ass person who shops there will be "wondering" about me. What should I do?