Does anyone else not see the club as a place to go on a date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 7:57 AM GMT
    Yay! I had a date for Memorial Day Weekend. Adds up to going out 3 times this weekend. Definitely beat Easter weekend where I was bored all fuck LOL.

    Anyway, on to the topic. Now, I have mentioned in the past, maybe not on this forum but on another about the hidden risks of going to a club/bar with a new 1st or 2nd date. Guys tend to flirt with other guys, exchange numbers with other guys while on the date, and even run off with another guy. I've had all 3 of them happen at least once and the last one can leave you feeling absolutely dreadful.

    However, tonight I had to fight the temptation of playing the bad one. The tables were turned on me and I had to resist. But having the morals that I do and knowing what it feels like to be on the receiving end of someone who has had too much to drink and wants to get friendly with everyone...I didn't let it get the best of me.

    But tonight, I'm just like DAYUM! It was opening of Vinyl in Denver and every guy from every bar of every night of the week came together in this 1 club. It was just too much. The Mack Game was presenting itself in it's most vivid form possible. Granted I have seen finer guys in 1 place before (Florida/Boston just to name a couple) but I was having a hard time focusing when I'm seeing all these different guys with body types closer to my preference.

    Deep down inside, I just wanted to branch off and just start flirting and getting numbers. I just do not feel clubs are places to go on dates or even with friends. People always say, "I could never go to a club by myself". But I feel that is the most opportune time to meet someone! Most of the night tonight was spent looking for my date's friend, and his friend's boyfriend who lost HIS phone. It was a a group of 6 of us and it was just too much!

    I can roll up in a club solo, don't need to see anybody I know and then just get to work. I don't like being huddled around and looking for people. I think if everyone went to clubs alone and not use their friends as crutches then things would be so much more fun. It's also hard to pay attention to your date when you have 50 million guys dancing around and looking and grabbing at you from every direction. Yes, going alone it can feel uncomfortable the first few minutes or even an hour, but then you get over it and meet who you want.

    With that said, I'm just finding going to clubs with a new date too tempting. Like, our love has to be STRONG to do something like that. Like seriously, what is there intellectual to do? Unless you're dancing non-stop the whole time it's like having dinner on the stove and then going to the supermarket while it's getting ready. You're just going to think, damn...I should have had THAT tonight icon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 8:00 AM GMT
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Deep down inside, I just wanted to branch off and just start flirting and getting numbers. I just do not feel clubs are places to go on dates or even with friends. People always say, "I could never go to a club by myself". But I feel that is the most opportune time to meet someone!


    Yup.

    On one end of the spectrum, clubs are a great place to meet new people and be alone in order to focus on new people. It's almost impossible for me to NOT meet and talk to someone new when I go out. On the other hand, other people don't want to meet someone or are shy or are ugly or just want to socialize with people they know so they come with friends. And so the clubs presents themselves with a variety of people with a variety of motives.icon_biggrin.gif
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    May 30, 2011 12:44 PM GMT
    Not only do I not think clubs are good places to take dates, I don't think they're good places to go with boyfriends. A staggering percentage of the unnecessary conflict in my last relationship was born in clubs. I'm sure there are happy couples who club together, but in most cases clubbing introduces all kinds of additional pressures that make relationships that much more challenging.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 1:24 PM GMT
    I do not think going to a club is a great first date choice.

    Here's why I feel this way: the definition of a date in my view is that it's a precursor or a test for the possibility of getting to know someone better for the purposes of dating and/or a future relationship.

    The main purpose of club-going does not foster this opportunity all that well. Heck, it's counterproductive.

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 30, 2011 2:24 PM GMT
    is it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.
  • rebelbeard

    Posts: 558

    May 30, 2011 2:45 PM GMT
    JB82 said
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Deep down inside, I just wanted to branch off and just start flirting and getting numbers. I just do not feel clubs are places to go on dates or even with friends. People always say, "I could never go to a club by myself". But I feel that is the most opportune time to meet someone!


    Yup.

    On one end of the spectrum, clubs are a great place to meet new people and be alone in order to focus on new people. It's almost impossible for me to NOT meet and talk to someone new when I go out. On the other hand, other people don't want to meet someone or are shy or are ugly or just want to socialize with people they know so they come with friends. And so the clubs presents themselves with a variety of people with a variety of motives.icon_biggrin.gif


    "Like"

    I would never take a date to the bar. It is the worst thing to do on a date. Going to the movies comes second. It's so impossible to get to know someone with loud music and constant interruption.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 30, 2011 5:02 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    2nd-ed. you don't take a date to a club: you take friends there, or you go alone, unless you're trying to test the bonds, or going for other reasons (Only drinking, only dancing, there's kareoke, w/e).

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    May 30, 2011 5:11 PM GMT
    stratavos said
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    2nd-ed. you don't take a date to a club: you take friends there, or you go alone, unless you're trying to test the bonds, or going for other reasons (Only drinking, only dancing, there's kareoke, w/e).



    This. I would also not meet potential dates at bars, but thats just me.

    I much prefer coffee shops, parks, etc, a place where it is easier to talk to someone.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 30, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    I don't mind taking a date to a club. If you do see your date flirting, exchanging numbers or running off with another guy, then you immediately know he's not the right guy for you. That's what I've learned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 7:18 PM GMT
    HighOctane said
    JB82 said
    Fit4FitnDenver said
    Deep down inside, I just wanted to branch off and just start flirting and getting numbers. I just do not feel clubs are places to go on dates or even with friends. People always say, "I could never go to a club by myself". But I feel that is the most opportune time to meet someone!


    Yup.

    On one end of the spectrum, clubs are a great place to meet new people and be alone in order to focus on new people. It's almost impossible for me to NOT meet and talk to someone new when I go out. On the other hand, other people don't want to meet someone or are shy or are ugly or just want to socialize with people they know so they come with friends. And so the clubs presents themselves with a variety of people with a variety of motives.icon_biggrin.gif


    "Like"

    I would never take a date to the bar. It is the worst thing to do on a date. Going to the movies comes second. It's so impossible to get to know someone with loud music and constant interruption.

    All of this.
  • havingfunmtl9...

    Posts: 258

    May 30, 2011 7:21 PM GMT
    I never go to the club on a first date, but after that - why not ? If both of you are into dancing and having a couple drinks it can be a lot of fun! Nothing like getting sweaty and close! icon_cool.gif
  • awm55

    Posts: 619

    May 30, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    stratavos said
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    2nd-ed. you don't take a date to a club: you take friends there, or you go alone, unless you're trying to test the bonds, or going for other reasons (Only drinking, only dancing, there's kareoke, w/e).



    This. I would also not meet potential dates at bars, but thats just me.

    I much prefer coffee shops, parks, etc, a place where it is easier to talk to someone.


    ditto

    Any venue that is so loud you can't talk to someone is not worth going to imho. I prefer either pubs or full on dance venues where you go solely to dance. Bars with loud music and tiny dance floors don't make much sense to me, you can't really dance nor really talk to anyone without shouting, whats the point?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 8:32 PM GMT
    Me. I wanna be taken to Monte Carlo or Florida
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 8:52 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    i shouldn't have laughed at this but i definitely did. brutal icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    slimnmuscly saidNot only do I not think clubs are good places to take dates, I don't think they're good places to go with boyfriends. A staggering percentage of the unnecessary conflict in my last relationship was born in clubs. I'm sure there are happy couples who club together, but in most cases clubbing introduces all kinds of additional pressures that make relationships that much more challenging.


    I agree. Maybe every now & then to get out, dance & etc but its definitely not a place to go on a get to know someone basis.
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    May 30, 2011 9:01 PM GMT


    You don't take a date to a bar or a club. You meet hook ups at a bar or a club...
  • jagjock

    Posts: 232

    May 30, 2011 9:45 PM GMT
    Never ever should you go to a club on a date. I mean EVER! But on a positive note men fit did finally find something positive about Denver So gues we had a small victory.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    May 30, 2011 10:04 PM GMT
    stratavos said
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    2nd-ed. you don't take a date to a club: you take friends there, or you go alone, unless you're trying to test the bonds, or going for other reasons (Only drinking, only dancing, there's kareoke, w/e).



    Pretty much.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    May 30, 2011 11:22 PM GMT
    I prefer date one to have no drinking involved even. I can't tell you how many times a date has had a little too much to drink and says way more than I want to hear on date 1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2011 10:19 PM GMT
    Actually, I think the 'moron' joke was pretty funny...

    Let's see: Memorial Day Weekend, city with a relatively sizable gay center...no plans on my end. What was I supposed to tell the dude? I don't wanna go out on a first date, let's have coffee. I was NOT the only guy there with a date at the outside bar and the club. His friend was on a date and I was on a date. It was a double date and we all had buckets of vodka Lemonade icon_razz.gif So your insensitivity has been neutralized and does not effect me.

    I was actually INVITED to go out with this guy. Now, from past experience I do know that doesn't mean anything and even an invite to a club can still be a ploy to use me for some ulterior motive of theirs...but this wasn't quite the case.

    FYI, I actually had a good time with the guy. He wasn't running off to talk to other people (AND he was YOUNGER than me!) It's these 30s and 40s men who don't know how to behave at the clubs. They're trying to recapture their youth.

    The reason why I bought up this topic is because I just find the clubs with a date doesn't seem the same. But, I don't think it should be a NEVER rule either. Personally I feel the bigger the club, the more likely one should go alone or with friends. The smaller the club, the more suitable it is for dates and friends.

    I personally feel more comfortable in a big club alone than a small bar alone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2011 12:51 AM GMT
    I personally would never go on a date to a club or bar. On date, you are going to have a chance to get to know each other and stuff like that. i've never been to a club or bar but I don't think it's the ideal place to have a first date. I'd rather pick a quieter place like a coffee shop or a park or something like that.

    But I agree with Ohioguy12, if you were to go on a date to a bar or club and your date is grinding up on some other guy, racking phone numbers, flirting, or running off with another guy, you'll know he's not the ideal guy for you.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Jun 07, 2011 12:59 AM GMT
    running11 said
    tuffguyndc saidis it me or are you just a complete moron. why in the hell would you take a date to a club? that does not make any sense to me.


    i shouldn't have laughed at this but i definitely did. brutal icon_smile.gif
    ha ha ha i was just being honest. at least it got a laugh out of you