These self hating gay men.

  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    May 30, 2011 12:36 PM GMT
    There are so many night that I spend wishing and praying that I weren't gay.

    Note: this isn't thread about religion


    The hurt of rejection I feel sometimes might be overwhelming and I need a common ground with some people that, being in the military, I just don't get.

    Friends.
    The straight people I know, but love, can't POSSIBLY understand the hurt I have, BUT YOU ALL CAN.

    I need to know that you all feel this at night sometimes when you're all alone.

    What happens if this is it? This life... The world seems to hate us so much...

    Why?

    I'm so tired of this fight against the Church, against the Government....

    I don't want to go to the "out in the park" event... I don't want to go to the "A mile in Hills for acceptance" event. I just want to be done with this whole situation where we're the abnormal motherfuckers. Fuck that shit.

    This thread is basically for the "Preach it brother," "Amen," Kind of talk.

    You know how fucked up shit is... Aren't we just tired of this lack of acceptance.

    Spoon Feeding:

    The whole Anti-Gay thing shouldn't even be a fucking issue. We're all human, we all Love. Just in different ways. Some of us won't even know love, because the fear that is created by this damn world is stopping us.

    That's unfair.

    [/end truth]
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    May 30, 2011 2:07 PM GMT
    You r young & very handsome L_S; don't give up!
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    May 30, 2011 3:33 PM GMT
    I don't wish I was straight because I want to be accepted by the straight community; I wish I was straight because I'm not accepted by the lgbt community.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    May 30, 2011 3:48 PM GMT
    I don't want to be straight - although it would be easier at times! But it woiuld be easier because straights simply assume so much. We gay people learn more about ourselves and are often so much kinder as a result.

    But not wanting to be gay? That's like not wanting to be who I am, or wanting not to like the music I like.

    Be you. You'll grow into it. Respect yourself, and others - at least the others who count - will respect you.

    Good luck,

    Nat
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    May 30, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    Little_Spoon saidThere are so many night that I spend wishing and praying that I weren't gay.

    Note: this isn't thread about religion


    The hurt of rejection I feel sometimes might be overwhelming and I need a common ground with some people that, being in the military, I just don't get.

    Friends.
    The straight people I know, but love, can't POSSIBLY understand the hurt I have, BUT YOU ALL CAN.

    I need to know that you all feel this at night sometimes when you're all alone.

    What happens if this is it? This life... The world seems to hate us so much...

    Why?

    I'm so tired of this fight against the Church, against the Government....

    I don't want to go to the "out in the park" event... I don't want to go to the "A mile in Hills for acceptance" event. I just want to be done with this whole situation where we're the abnormal motherfuckers. Fuck that shit.

    This thread is basically for the "Preach it brother," "Amen," Kind of talk.

    You know how fucked up shit is... Aren't we just tired of this lack of acceptance.

    Spoon Feeding:

    The whole Anti-Gay thing shouldn't even be a fucking issue. We're all human, we all Love. Just in different ways. Some of us won't even know love, because the fear that is created by this damn world is stopping us.

    That's unfair.

    [/end truth]



    Wait a minute.....back up. The title of your thread is "These self hating gay men" and yet you start your post out by saying you wish and pray you were not gay. Huh? That statement sounds pretty self hating to me. Not to mention the title is about self hate and yet your post seems to be talking about hate coming from straight people. Dude.....preview your message before hitting "submit." icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 30, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    I personally don't have the time to care who accepts me or not. I live my life the way I want to and I don't need anyone else to join me if they don't want to.

    "I'm so tired of this fight against the Church, against the Government"

    EVERYONE IS FUCKING TIRED!!! but if we stop or give up,nothing will be done and we'll continue to be 2nd class citizens.

    You should be grateful you live in a country where you can protest for your rights and not be scared that your life can be in danger for it, like in other countries.

    Things are always hard at first,but you learn to work through it in the end.
    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Little_Spoon

    Posts: 1562

    May 30, 2011 6:02 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Little_Spoon saidThere are so many night that I spend wishing and praying that I weren't gay.

    Note: this isn't thread about religion


    The hurt of rejection I feel sometimes might be overwhelming and I need a common ground with some people that, being in the military, I just don't get.

    Friends.
    The straight people I know, but love, can't POSSIBLY understand the hurt I have, BUT YOU ALL CAN.

    I need to know that you all feel this at night sometimes when you're all alone.

    What happens if this is it? This life... The world seems to hate us so much...

    Why?

    I'm so tired of this fight against the Church, against the Government....

    I don't want to go to the "out in the park" event... I don't want to go to the "A mile in Hills for acceptance" event. I just want to be done with this whole situation where we're the abnormal motherfuckers. Fuck that shit.

    This thread is basically for the "Preach it brother," "Amen," Kind of talk.

    You know how fucked up shit is... Aren't we just tired of this lack of acceptance.

    Spoon Feeding:

    The whole Anti-Gay thing shouldn't even be a fucking issue. We're all human, we all Love. Just in different ways. Some of us won't even know love, because the fear that is created by this damn world is stopping us.

    That's unfair.

    [/end truth]



    Wait a minute.....back up. The title of your thread is "These self hating gay men" and yet you start your post out by saying you wish and pray you were not gay. Huh? That statement sounds pretty self hating to me. Not to mention the title is about self hate and yet your post seems to be talking about hate coming from straight people. Dude.....preview your message before hitting "submit." icon_rolleyes.gif



    Dude, I've been in that place where I've wanted to change myself. I'm NOT completely comfortable with myself because I was betrayed by the people who are SUPPOSE to love me for who I am.

    At times, I'm a little self-hating.

    Most times, I'm a little fucking awesome as hell.
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    May 30, 2011 6:16 PM GMT
    You play the cards life dealt you. It's up to you to scrape by a pair of deuces of make it into a royal fucking flush.
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    May 30, 2011 6:22 PM GMT
    Little_Spoon saidFuck that this shit.


    tl;dr

    You were right though.
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    May 30, 2011 6:33 PM GMT
    I know the distance you speak of in reference to the military. I felt it for a long time when I first joined. I met so many awesome people who I just felt disconnected from because I couldn't show them the real me.

    And I remember it making me really depressed. Many people may say then why did you volunteer? In which I say I've never been the overly patriotic type fighting for my country, I needed the money, I needed work experience, and I needed school benefits.

    My deployment has changed everything though. I am actually very lucky. Out here in Iraq, I am currently out to everyone in my team, even my NCOIC and my OIC and they still love and accept me. I have met other guys deployed out here who do not have that kind of support and literally haven't told anyone else that they were gay or bi except for me.

    Life is going to always hand you challenges, trust me I know. I've been a minority my entire life, since before I even started liking boys. You just gotta make do and choose to live your life. At some point you'll grow to focus more on those who accept you and slowly over look the rest. Down let them get you down.

    I guess I'll like to add, if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to email me

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    May 30, 2011 6:40 PM GMT
    i think when you see alot of what appears to be self hatred, it may be just that, but it's also shared venting about being an oppressed minority.

    you can make your life what you want it to be, but it's not all roses and sunshine
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    May 30, 2011 11:34 PM GMT
    I couldn't give a shit about being gay... What's unfair is that I wasn't born into the body of Zac Efron! Now that's something to preach about! Being gays awesome! I love changing peoples opinions and stuff on our world. I just love it icon_smile.gif
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    May 31, 2011 6:44 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidI couldn't give a shit about being gay... What's unfair is that I wasn't born into the body of Zac Efron! Now that's something to preach about! Being gays awesome! I love changing peoples opinions and stuff on our world. I just love it icon_smile.gif


    OMG dont even get me started on Zac Efron!
    Hes too good looking for his own good, not fair! icon_mad.gif
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    May 31, 2011 6:46 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidLife's not fair. Never expect it to be in your life time. Ahhh.. to be 21 again. I know you well and we've never even met. Many of us were you long ago.
    Your ideals will change in time. For now, make the best of a bad situation.
    Hopefully your stint in the service will be a quick one.
    btw.... being straight vs. gay won't really fix any of your problems.. they're much deeper than that.. Straights have a hard time with self acceptance too.. just on different levels. Straights just have a different set of problems than us.
    Given the choice,, I'd remain Gay any day!


    Ditto. icon_wink.gif
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    May 31, 2011 7:14 PM GMT
    Little_Spoon saidThere are so many nights that I spend wishing and praying that I weren't gay.

    Each night I think how lucky I am to BE gay. I've never been happier in my life, because this is what I was meant to be. It was when I tried to be something I'm not that I was unhappy.

    Hampton, Virginia? Hampton Roads, so you're with the Navy or Marines? The Navy is quickly moving ahead with accepting gay sailors, though naturally you need to go slowly, not reveal yourself until it's truly smooth sailing for gays.

    It will get better in your lifetime. My partner & I will likely not live to see universal gay equality in the US, but you could well do so. And at 21 you suffer from the angst that all of us did at that age, from many causes.

    It will pass, even for a gay man. Patience & perseverance are your best weapons. Easy to say, difficult to do when you're 21, I know. But that's your answer.
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    Jun 01, 2011 1:00 AM GMT
    'Most times, I'm a little fucking awesome as hell.' This is what you need to hold on to.
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    Jun 01, 2011 1:05 AM GMT
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    Hot man up there.
  • ChicoUrbano

    Posts: 83

    Jun 01, 2011 1:14 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidYou play the cards life dealt you. It's up to you to scrape by a pair of deuces of make it into a royal fucking flush.


    This.