A question to my bruthaz(black men)

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    May 30, 2011 2:40 PM GMT
    Why is it do you think a lot of inshape, masculine, intelligent bruthaz exclusively date whites? I mean I have dated asian and latino men here and there so don't get me wrong I have nothing against interracial dating..but 90% of the time I date other bruthaz. And 90% of my boyfriends where black. I mean hear all types of reasons..like "I grew up around whites so that's why I connect with them" or "it just my prefrence". In which I turn to say how so? They can't give me a reason. If you as me why I have a"prefrence" on something I can give you logical reason..so I think that's bull%#@t. My first boyfriend grew up around whites all his life in nj. But when he became of age he moved to philly he said it was for city life and to be more around other black men. It seem to me no matter what race you are you should embrace your culture good and bad. I cannot understand why someone wouldn't want to be around anyone like themselves. It so man types of personalities in every race so I can't see you not connecting to some guy of your own race. I mean nothing wrong with dating out your race..but how can you just exclusively date white men? I mean I meant plenty of buthaz that you would call "oreo cookies" and they exclusively date whites. Be inshape,masculine and intelligent is far from being a "white thing". Is it just self lothing or just learned behavior?
  • Webster666

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    May 30, 2011 5:46 PM GMT
    So you're pushing for segregation...
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    May 30, 2011 5:50 PM GMT
    I know what you're asking for is for other black men to answer this thread... but it's about as confusing as pinpointing where gayness stems from.

    People like what they like, whether it be that fat blonde white girl with a black man or the white guy who only likes asians. Who are you to question someones innate attraction to unconscious specifications in a plausible partner? So what if a black guy wants white guys? There are plenty of black guys who want black guys. It's not about embracing their culture when looking for a sexual partner or relationship, it's about what they are attracted to and what they want.

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    May 30, 2011 8:21 PM GMT
    It's a cultural thing.For instance, I'm Biracial and was mostly raised around white people. I don't have a problem with dating out side of my race as long as we have things in common. As far as dating black guys go. I Do find black guys attractive and I am open to dating them,but it's hard to find black guys in my area that aren't thuggish or have that "swagger" stuff going on with them. I wasn't raised around that, nor do I find that type of personality attractive.

    I also have a find who is Black and she loves those type of guys. I asked her if she could ever date a white guy and she said " Yeah,As long as they had that swagger stuff going on. I can't be dating those Abercrombie types though" (LOL)

    I hope this all made sense and it's not taken out of context lol.
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    May 30, 2011 8:49 PM GMT
    why make it such an issue- i love black culture, the people, the swagger, and would very much obviously rather be with a black man than a white man. would I turn down someone who's a true gentleman because he's not black? absolutely not, but everyone has their preferences and what they find sexy... and people find those things sexy because of environments they have grown up around or lacked in their life etc.. there's a lot of reasons (beyond what I could ever explain)... but why segregate?

    maybe we should work on gays having equal rights instead of working on segregating? Just a thought.

    i mean at the end of the day, who really gives a fuck? a relationship is a relationship is a relationship and love is love, and everyone deserves love and to be loved, no matter who it's from or what their skin color.
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    May 30, 2011 8:59 PM GMT
    I think part of it has been a rejection by the black community. How many times can a black guy hear that they aren't black enough because of the things they like, the way that they speak, etc.? After a while, that rejection takes a toll on you.

    And another part of it is the acceptance of the negative stereotypes of black men. How many positive black men stories do you hear about? How many of them are portrayed in black cinema? For example, Tyler Perry movies. How many times do you see the black guy as being the "downlow" brotha that brings HIV to poor unsuspecting black women? How many times do you see the black guy beating his wife? Or the black guy that leaves his wife after 11 years to be with his secretary or somebody younger? For another example, check out For Colored Girls.
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    May 30, 2011 9:02 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidI think part of it has been a rejection by the black community. How many times can a black guy hear that they aren't black enough because of the things they like, the way that they speak, etc.? After a while, that rejection takes a toll on you.

    And another part of it is the acceptance of the negative stereotypes of black men. How many positive black men stories do you hear about? How many of them are portrayed in black cinema? For example, Tyler Perry movies. How many times do you see the black guy as being the "downlow" brotha that brings HIV to poor unsuspecting black women? How many times do you see the black guy beating his wife? Or the black guy that leaves his wife after 11 years to be with his secretary or somebody younger? For another example, check out For Colored Girls.


    *OFF TOPIC*

    Dude... For Colored Girls is a damn good movie... left me completely and utterly speechless

    *BACK ON TOPIC*

    I think a lot of people don't see past the stereotypes, which you must do in order to see people for who they are. Black men are not those stereotypes... some are, but most that I've met, are not.
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    May 30, 2011 9:14 PM GMT
    I agree with balljunkie that there are a lot of sociological, and psychological reasons for this in many instances. Within black culture there's a lot of social programming telling you that if you don't act a certain way, you aren't black. People that feel ostracized that way will naturally cling to others that are more accepting of them. But a lot depends on your geography. I love men of all races and backgrounds. When I find "The One" it wil be easier to sustain a relationship I'd he's also black because we'll have a shared history and worldview. But I'm not going to reject non-black candidates, nor put up with behavioral flaws just to be with another brotha. Then again, if he looked like Reggie bush I'd probably put up with a lot!
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    May 30, 2011 9:15 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidI think part of it has been a rejection by the black community. How many times can a black guy hear that they aren't black enough because of the things they like, the way that they speak, etc.? After a while, that rejection takes a toll on you.

    And another part of it is the acceptance of the negative stereotypes of black men. How many positive black men stories do you hear about? How many of them are portrayed in black cinema? For example, Tyler Perry movies. How many times do you see the black guy as being the "downlow" brotha that brings HIV to poor unsuspecting black women? How many times do you see the black guy beating his wife? Or the black guy that leaves his wife after 11 years to be with his secretary or somebody younger? For another example, check out For Colored Girls.


    I can't sit through a tyler perry movie all of his movies are filled with stereotypes..i miss spike lee movies..lol but I'm well spoken and not hood but still am a real brutha. If you let others make you whole u are your weak...
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    May 30, 2011 9:17 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidSo you're pushing for segregation...


    No I don't but it's alive and well..if you don't think so, then please send me your transporter cordinates
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    May 30, 2011 9:23 PM GMT
    darksaiyan said
    Balljunkie saidI think part of it has been a rejection by the black community. How many times can a black guy hear that they aren't black enough because of the things they like, the way that they speak, etc.? After a while, that rejection takes a toll on you.

    And another part of it is the acceptance of the negative stereotypes of black men. How many positive black men stories do you hear about? How many of them are portrayed in black cinema? For example, Tyler Perry movies. How many times do you see the black guy as being the "downlow" brotha that brings HIV to poor unsuspecting black women? How many times do you see the black guy beating his wife? Or the black guy that leaves his wife after 11 years to be with his secretary or somebody younger? For another example, check out For Colored Girls.


    I can't sit through a tyler perry movie all of his movies are filled with stereotypes..i miss spike lee movies..lol but I'm well spoken and not hood but still am a real brutha. If you let others make you whole u are your weak...


    That's true, but you can't deny the thug appeal that the black community embraces. The tats, the hardcore, no emotion expressed unless it's anger, love of violence (oh, how many black friends and relatives do I have that love Scarface), a real black person (no the word that is used) that plays zero bullshit.


    If you shun any of this, people look at you crazy.

    As my Uncle always says, "A punk ass bitch gets no respect."
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    May 30, 2011 9:33 PM GMT
    I SENSE THAT THIS THREAD IS GOING TO BECOME THAT NEXT WARZONE.
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    May 30, 2011 10:36 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidSo you're pushing for segregation...


    I didn't get that from what the OP said at all. In fact, I think he is asking about the exact opposite. He's asking about why some gay black men discriminate against other gay black men. It's a valid question for a gay black man (hence the title).

    It's hard to pinpoint one culprit. I think it comes from a lot of reasons:

    -Self-loathing/no cultural pride

    -Failure to identify with other blacks

    -Acceptance of negative stereotypes

    -Rejection from other blacks (ever noticed most of the black guys that prefer white guys are not that easy on the eyes?)

    -Colorism (discrimination between minorities based on color)

    -Following the media's ideas of what is good-looking

    However, black men that prefer white men are a very small minority of a minority of a minority. On predominantly white sites (like RealJock) and predominantly white events, a lot (but not all) of the black guys there probably are looking for white because it would be the right place to find them. If you go to a gay black event or website, you'd be hard-pressed to find a black guy that's interested in dating a white guy. In fact, in reverse, you start to see a lot of white guys (who are the minority) doing the shameless chasing and asking questions like "why don't black men talk to white guys?"




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    May 30, 2011 11:44 PM GMT
    darksaiyan saidWhy is it do you think a lot of inshape, masculine, intelligent bruthaz exclusively date whites?
    Because whites have bigger dicks. icon_razz.gif
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    May 31, 2011 12:07 AM GMT
    I think that this is a cultural issue but it does not need to addressed
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    May 31, 2011 12:11 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    darksaiyan saidWhy is it do you think a lot of inshape, masculine, intelligent bruthaz exclusively date whites?
    Because whites have bigger dicks. icon_razz.gif


    Why is yours small then? icon_wink.gif
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    May 31, 2011 12:22 AM GMT

    This topic hits a little bit of a sore spot for me. All my life I've been shunned by black men and women because I dont fit these imagines of a "hard" black man. I try not to look at the race anymore. I grew up in a rural area and and so I connect a little more with guys from those areas. There were times were I tried to meet black men and even try to get more black friends but I just dont fit that "thug" image.

    The problem we have in the black community is that we are so intolerant of our own diversity that it causes self hate among ourselves.
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    May 31, 2011 12:34 AM GMT
    Living in the caribbean I've grown up among all races myself and I've learn hands down what you say about all personality types being present in all races is true. I don’t have a race preference to me that’s non existent.

    But I think a lot of influence comes from the reaction of “your own race because you don’t fit into their image of what a true (any race) should be” so when they shun you it tends to push towards another a more understanding and accepting sect.

    Good old fashion “I choose too” is another reason – people have free will to choose and like whatever and whoever they want.

    Also sexual stereotyping - realistically we’ve all heard them, each “race” has been stereo typed and sometimes they sway us in a positive or negative manner.


  • NyRuinz

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    May 31, 2011 12:46 AM GMT
    Lenoxx said It's a cultural thing.For instance, I'm Biracial and was mostly raised around white people. I don't have a problem with dating out side of my race as long as we have things in common. As far as dating black guys go. I Do find black guys attractive and I am open to dating them,but it's hard to find black guys in my area that aren't thuggish or have that "swagger" stuff going on with them. I wasn't raised around that, nor do I find that type of personality attractive. .


    Ditto! I'm all for dating a guy with Swag, but there is a difference between having swag and being ghetto. I am attracted to all types of men, but I notice I tend to get weak in the knees for hispanic men, dominicans, puerto ricans, colombians, mexicans etc. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 31, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    darksaiyan saidIn which I turn to say how so? They can't give me a reason. If you as me why I have a"prefrence" on something I can give you logical reason..so I think that's bull%#@t.


    Oh really?

    So give me a logical reason why you prefer to stick your penis inside a man's anus instead of a woman's vagina?

    FYI I can provide you detailed reasons why I pick the guys I do, and none of them are logical. I prefer flat wide noses over raised thin noses for example. No fucking idea why nor do I fucking care to know why. Your sexual preference isn't based on a serious of successional steps that lead to a conclusion. It's far more rudimentary.
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    May 31, 2011 1:22 AM GMT
    Lenoxx said
    paulflexes said
    darksaiyan saidWhy is it do you think a lot of inshape, masculine, intelligent bruthaz exclusively date whites?
    Because whites have bigger dicks. icon_razz.gif


    Why is yours small then? icon_wink.gif
    Because some big black brutha named Bubba bit off the other half. icon_razz.gif
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    May 31, 2011 1:30 AM GMT
    JB82 said
    darksaiyan saidIn which I turn to say how so? They can't give me a reason. If you as me why I have a"prefrence" on something I can give you logical reason..so I think that's bull%#@t.


    Oh really?

    So give me a logical reason why you prefer to stick your penis inside a man's anus instead of a woman's vagina?

    FYI I can provide you detailed reasons why I pick the guys I do, and none of them are logical. I prefer flat wide noses over raised thin noses for example. No fucking idea why nor do I fucking care to know why. Your sexual preference isn't based on a serious of successional steps that lead to a conclusion. It's far more rudimentary.


    I like this icon_smile.gif
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    May 31, 2011 1:47 AM GMT
    JB82 said
    darksaiyan saidIn which I turn to say how so? They can't give me a reason. If you as me why I have a"prefrence" on something I can give you logical reason..so I think that's bull%#@t.


    Oh really?

    So give me a logical reason why you prefer to stick your penis inside a man's anus instead of a woman's vagina?
    ^^^ One of the most dumbest arguments people try to throw out there when it comes to preferences.icon_lol.gif
    FYI I can provide you detailed reasons why I pick the guys I do, and none of them are logical. I prefer flat wide noses over raised thin noses for example. No fucking idea why nor do I fucking care to know why. Your sexual preference isn't based on a serious of successional steps that lead to a conclusion. It's far more rudimentary.


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    May 31, 2011 2:24 AM GMT
    Lenoxx said
    JB82 said
    darksaiyan saidIn which I turn to say how so? They can't give me a reason. If you as me why I have a"prefrence" on something I can give you logical reason..so I think that's bull%#@t.


    Oh really?

    So give me a logical reason why you prefer to stick your penis inside a man's anus instead of a woman's vagina?
    ^^^ One of the most dumbest arguments people try to throw out there when it comes to preferences.icon_lol.gif
    FYI I can provide you detailed reasons why I pick the guys I do, and none of them are logical. I prefer flat wide noses over raised thin noses for example. No fucking idea why nor do I fucking care to know why. Your sexual preference isn't based on a serious of successional steps that lead to a conclusion. It's far more rudimentary.




    why's that?
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    May 31, 2011 2:33 AM GMT
    Uhm, I'm attracted to both black and white guys equally. And I'm going to date whomever I want, when I want, and I don't give a shit about how it looks or how it's perceived.

    White guys can annoy me at times with their indirectly prejudiced remarks, like "oh, I have jungle fever" or "I love your cocoa skin." I kind of want to smack them and tell them I'm not a fucking delicacy. However, what irritates me most are the black guys who whine about why white guys aren't into them or why other black people choose to date white people, like that's a barometer of their self-worth or something. Sure, there's an ingrained sense of upward mobility that is positively correlated with light skin colors, but maybe, some intelligent, masculine black guys date white guys because they just have a connection and it's not any deeper than that.

    Anyway, the moral of this tirade is that I should date Asians or Latinos. And I'll gladly do that if the chances comes up and not give a fuck about what anyone thinks.

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