Always the friend, never the lover!

  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    May 30, 2011 5:28 PM GMT
    Ok guys, do you remember the saying "always a bridesmaid, never the bride?"
    I hope I'm not the only man that feels this way, please, someone, prove me wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 5:31 PM GMT
    Probably because you're looking at the wrong guys.

    I'm always the love interest and not just the friend.

    I'd rather have the opposite qualities. I'd find more people to network through that way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 7:50 PM GMT
    The remedy is that you need to stop being nice and start being direct. You need to have a definite tell: look at them, talk to them, and appear to them like you don't want to be a friend. Keep your body language open: don't cross your arms, sit up straight, face them, maintain good eye contact, maintain a poker face and desist from "clowning" with them, like a friend. You can still laugh, but reel it right back in to serious. Practice in the mirror, the key is to look a little mean, but game face mean. And for good measure, clown with real friends...near him, but when he comes over, turn on the air conditioning immediately. He'll get it real quick that you don't wanna play games, you wanna play strategy and he's not "like" your other friends anymore; he's been green lit. There is a detector inside of every man that understands strategy, but you gotta appear serious. Once he realizes, he's it; he'll start giving you clues. Either he wants to play or not. Pay attention. If he copies you, that's a great sign. It's fact that people who like you, mimic you or it means that he's finally ready to stop playing around and you've been marked yourself. Pay attention to him. He'll try to break your concentration by "joking" with you, trying to restore some of the silliness that used to exist. You'll no doubt cave and let him see it, but snatch it away. Do the same with him. This will usually usher in physical play: the next level beyond silly platonic play. If he grabs, ya, this is a real good sign and him playing right into your hands. Enough wrastlin with you and he'll forget that you were ever silly with him. Now, during this crucial times do not mention anything about girls or anyone else. Friends talk about guys and gals. " You don't want to be his friend. The topics of discussion needs to be about him, you, and stuff related to him and you. Needs to be no question who's in your sights. Pay attention to his demeanor; now, when he sees you, it should change. He's gonna have his game face on: you're the serious buddy he tests physical strength with, no longer a casual buddy. Now, to seal the deal, if he says something "weird'" that alludes in any way to sex/more with you. You'll know it and don't be shy, pounce on it. Sometimes it's something as simple as bringing up a convo about "sex". Don't answer, when I do it with a "boy/gal"...I" ; Answer, "when I do it, I." Now don't be coy at all. If you think he's setting up alone time with you "chilling, lunch, etc," HE IS. You've got him and it's up to you to finally make that DIRECT move. If he's been on the level the whole time, you've got him. If not, it could turn into THE END of everything, but not really. If he isn't interested, he'll probably just reset back to being your friend. A lot of guys think he'll never talk to them again. no, they always go back to being your friend. If the guy is straight...DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS I WROTE unless you're positive that he's bendy. Yes, I have experience, that's how I know how it all falls apart. I did it a lot younger like a real scientist; I'd get to step three with one guy, mess up, get to step three with another guy, not mess it up and I advanced - and so on through the steps. I've gotten all the way to the last level twice, but was too afraid to hit the target. I got all the way to my ass in a hotel with him, me shirtless, him in his underwear (blue) once. I didn't take down the target. Don't be like me. And yes it was still "obvious" and not being able to undo everything I'd spent months setting up, we couldn't return to being friends. I'd changed the game and then failed to follow through. I've since stopped trying to bang friends, but I'm just hibernating. I'll try again one day and I'll snag that panty trophy.

  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    May 30, 2011 10:24 PM GMT
    TrevorMark saidProbably because you're looking at the wrong guys.

    I'm always the love interest and not just the friend.

    I'd rather have the opposite qualities. I'd find more people to network through that way.



    How would you know, if you are looking at wrong genre of guys? Especially if you are introverted like myself
  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    May 30, 2011 10:31 PM GMT
    GuiltyGear saidThe remedy is that you need to stop being nice and start being direct. You need to have a definite tell: look at them, talk to them, and appear to them like you don't want to be a friend. Keep your body language open: don't cross your arms, sit up straight, face them, maintain good eye contact, maintain a poker face and desist from "clowning" with them, like a friend. You can still laugh, but reel it right back in to serious. Practice in the mirror, the key is to look a little mean, but game face mean. And for good measure, clown with real friends...near him, but when he comes over, turn on the air conditioning immediately. He'll get it real quick that you don't wanna play games, you wanna play strategy and he's not "like" your other friends anymore; he's been green lit. There is a detector inside of every man that understands strategy, but you gotta appear serious. Once he realizes, he's it; he'll start giving you clues. Either he wants to play or not. Pay attention. If he copies you, that's a great sign. It's fact that people who like you, mimic you or it means that he's finally ready to stop playing around and you've been marked yourself. Pay attention to him. He'll try to break your concentration by "joking" with you, trying to restore some of the silliness that used to exist. You'll no doubt cave and let him see it, but snatch it away. Do the same with him. This will usually usher in physical play: the next level beyond silly platonic play. If he grabs, ya, this is a real good sign and him playing right into your hands. Enough wrastlin with you and he'll forget that you were ever silly with him. Now, during this crucial times do not mention anything about girls or anyone else. Friends talk about guys and gals. " You don't want to be his friend. The topics of discussion needs to be about him, you, and stuff related to him and you. Needs to be no question who's in your sights. Pay attention to his demeanor; now, when he sees you, it should change. He's gonna have his game face on: you're the serious buddy he tests physical strength with, no longer a casual buddy. Now, to seal the deal, if he says something "weird'" that alludes in any way to sex/more with you. You'll know it and don't be shy, pounce on it. Sometimes it's something as simple as bringing up a convo about "sex". Don't answer, when I do it with a "boy/gal"...I" ; Answer, "when I do it, I." Now don't be coy at all. If you think he's setting up alone time with you "chilling, lunch, etc," HE IS. You've got him and it's up to you to finally make that DIRECT move. If he's been on the level the whole time, you've got him. If not, it could turn into THE END of everything, but not really. If he isn't interested, he'll probably just reset back to being your friend. A lot of guys think he'll never talk to them again. no, they always go back to being your friend. If the guy is straight...DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS I WROTE unless you're positive that he's bendy. Yes, I have experience, that's how I know how it all falls apart. I did it a lot younger like a real scientist; I'd get to step three with one guy, mess up, get to step three with another guy, not mess it up and I advanced - and so on through the steps. I've gotten all the way to the last level twice, but was too afraid to hit the target. I got all the way to my ass in a hotel with him, me shirtless, him in his underwear (blue) once. I didn't take down the target. Don't be like me. And yes it was still "obvious" and not being able to undo everything I'd spent months setting up, we couldn't return to being friends. I'd changed the game and then failed to follow through. I've since stopped trying to bang friends, but I'm just hibernating. I'll try again one day and I'll snag that panty trophy.



    Thanks for the advice. Now, I'm stuck in poker face mode. Some guys call me unapproachable because I'm supposedly hidden behind a wall of defenses. I rarely smile with men I don't know. I think I probably need to reset myself. I've been through some stuff.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    hottt1980 said
    How would you know, if you are looking at wrong genre of guys? Especially if you are introverted like myself

    I think you might have answered your own question. If you're introverted, you're probably shying away so much that people lose aggression when pursuing you.


    Be a little more open. icon_smile.gif
  • hottt1980

    Posts: 50

    May 30, 2011 11:49 PM GMT
    Thats something I have to work on.....I'm not much of an open book
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2011 12:33 AM GMT


    Oh, no, work on your poker face. It should be unreadable. For my plan to work you gotta be open and sweet first. Listen to Trevor Mark. Surprisingly, gay guys love a smile.