The unfortunate power of old parental words

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Hey guys-

    Feeling the need to write.

    I have this awful, guilty, combination jealous & extremely sad emotion when I read/see/hear people's parents who love them unconditionally for their gayness.

    I'm not out to my family. But they know. C'mon, I'm 36, my mom tried to out me in a drunken phone call to me one night, and I've brought home a total of one girlfriend my entire life.

    My family's take on uncomfortable issues is to simply not discuss them. So we simply don't discuss me.

    And every time I even think about "just being honest with them," as I know many of you will post, I'm reminded of two very pivotal experiences from my teens:

    Dad, in a fight with mom, referred to me as a "simpy, wimpy, namby-pamby Momma's boy."

    Mom, discussing my aunt's girlfriend, speaking of her as "filthy and disgusting."

    So, I'm sorry, but I just don't see the "tell them and they'll come around" happening here. (there are emotional, mental, and substance abuse issues with my folks.) And that just makes me a little sad.

    My response has been to look at it as THEIR election. They've chosen to not want to know a piece of my life, so they don't get to share that piece with me. I'm out, I love my life, I had great sex last night, I'm successful, etc etc. So that helps, knowing that because they chose a certain path, they don't get to enjoy those wonderful things about my life.

    Nonetheless, it still makes me a little sad. Deep down inside, when I see a mom and dad hug their gay son, I wish that could happen to my folks for their filthy, disgusting, simpy, wimpy, namby-pamby Momma's boy.
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    May 30, 2011 10:02 PM GMT
    Bulldog1974 saidAnd every time I even think about "just being honest with them," as I know many of you will post, I'm reminded of two very pivotal experiences from my teens:

    Dad, in a fight with mom, referred to me as a "simpy, wimpy, namby-pamby Momma's boy."
    And every moment you feel afraid to tell them you're gay, you're just proving him right.

    It's about time you prove him wrong by standing up to them and telling them you're gay; and add that if they don't like it they can go fuck themselves.

    Maybe not the last phrase, but you get the jist. Grow some balls and prove your dad wrong. icon_wink.gif