Could you forgive someone for this?

  • HtotheOMO

    Posts: 70

    May 30, 2011 9:41 PM GMT
    i had been talking to an online friend i met on a dating site for 3 months, and finally met him and hung out with him and some of his friends, we all got drunk , he wasn't showing much interest in me but one of his friends was and we ended up having sex

    when we were done he was crying in the corner of the hallway and regret regret consumed me, i hugged him and we had a moment and i promised to never do something like that again

    after that he wouldn't contact me though prior to the incident he would text or call everyday so i knew he was still upset, i thoroughly apologized and he forgave me we finally hung out for the first time in a month but i still feel like there's something i have to do to make it up to him
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    May 30, 2011 11:17 PM GMT
    Clearly you didn't actually like this guy... you even called him "an online friend" in-lieu of his obvious liking of you. Instead of pondering what he was thinking and doing or that maybe, just maybe, he had no idea what to do or say to you, you went off to another person who showed you attention you felt like you deserved and then in-turn... fucked him. You sound respectable.


    I'd say let the sweet guy go. You're only going to make him feel shittier for what you've done and how he feels/felt towards you. I don't know you, but I think he deserves better.
  • HtotheOMO

    Posts: 70

    May 30, 2011 11:53 PM GMT
    well i really do i just met him online is all i mean by that "title"
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    May 31, 2011 1:04 AM GMT
    TrevorMark saidClearly you didn't actually like this guy... you even called him "an online friend" in-lieu of his obvious liking of you. Instead of pondering what he was thinking and doing or that maybe, just maybe, he had no idea what to do or say to you, you went off to another person who showed you attention you felt like you deserved and then in-turn... fucked him. You sound respectable.


    I'd say let the sweet guy go. You're only going to make him feel shittier for what you've done and how he feels/felt towards you. I don't know you, but I think he deserves better.


    amen brother. real trashy
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    May 31, 2011 1:13 AM GMT



    Nice how you show interest in someone by going off and fucking his friend....
    I take it you weren't that interested in this guy you met online... In any event if he was smart and wanted something substantial in a relationship he should walk away from you and you should let him or be a man and apologize to him and tell him you are not deserving of him and walk away.

    I am actually surprised he wanted to hang out with a you a second time after that. I can only imagine how hot you are externally to make this guy you just burned to want to hang out with you again.. But each to their own, looks like this guy likes to punish himself.
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    May 31, 2011 1:20 AM GMT
    I think the key here is "we all got drunk." It's too bad that you went with the friend of your "online friend," but considering that drinking impairs judgment, I think you deserve a second chance, but ONLY a second chance.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    May 31, 2011 1:21 AM GMT
    that is total crap r u kidding me. u like one guy and then when he is not all about you your go after his friend that is total crap man. personally i would have been like u r a dick go get out of here ofr i will handle it.
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    May 31, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    So your way of showing interest in a guy is by screwing his friend on the first meeting???? Society hasen't gotten THAT liberal yet my dear.
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    May 31, 2011 6:05 PM GMT
    LatinLuver saidwell i really do i just met him online is all i mean by that "title"

    3 Months over one night...

    You're still not weighing your options properly. I don't even care that you promised him it would "never happen again" because you never even took his feelings into consideration in the first place.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 31, 2011 6:23 PM GMT
    I assume by your original post, the friend you met online was crying in the hallway and not the dude with whom you had sex.

    He isn't your boyfriend, he's an acquaintance.. or maybe a little more.
    You apologized and talked about it. Move on... if he doesn't, don't feel guilty.
    If you do get past it and he seems upset, assure him, but don't beat yourself up... I don't think you did anything wrong.
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    May 31, 2011 6:28 PM GMT
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    May 31, 2011 6:46 PM GMT
    OP, alcohol was involved and well, you were besmirched/rejected. 3 months is entirely too long to withhold sex. But you had to have a reason to keep sending all those emails: that pie was pretty tempting, better than that day old donut you had at the party, ay? Keep working on this guy; he's emo. That's good. Turn on the charm and you can find yourself in a position to really give him something to cry about. He HASN'T been calling you. Remember not to call him after you tap that borrico. icon_surprised.gif

    ............................

    Oh wait, you didn't start this thread to receive the meanest replies possible?...my bad, I coulda sworn by all these two faced sanctimonious pricks leaving all these ultra mean replies.

    Seriously though, internet romances burn hot and heavy and then they die. If he was local; there was no reason to keep this going for so long...if you wanted sex. If you did, there is nothing wrong with that. His friend did, so ya'll hooked up, the right match at the party that night. If he's looking for an LTR or something, I think you should move him on. Don't feel guilty about what you did. You were just being rational. Now, you could have fucked him very soon after; tears are a players river Styx, but you didn't. There is good in you, which is why you feel bad. Let em go.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 31, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI assume by your original post, the friend you met online was crying in the hallway and not the dude with whom you had sex.



    Glad I wasn't the only one confused.
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    May 31, 2011 7:01 PM GMT
    I dont think anything happened here.

    When you meet someone in person from the net, you are meeting this person for the first time. Remember that. You owe him nothing and he owes you nothing. He got hurt, it sucks, life happens. He can write a sad poem in his diary and move on.
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    May 31, 2011 7:10 PM GMT
    I am always on the fence about this. I would never keep the private conversation going in the romantic sense for like three months without meeting him that's for sure. Now if I am just in it for the friendship that's different. That kind of conversation you can keep on having online....forever too.

    I agree with Trev that just the fact that you called him "online friend" implied that you weren't that interested in him. Why should you feel guilty if you're not attracted to someone and you reject them?

    LOL @ what Chainers said about sad poem in diary!!!
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    May 31, 2011 7:13 PM GMT
    You only have to answer to your own set of beliefs and values dude...

    You feel guilty, that means you did something wrong.

    Atone for it and move on.

    On a logic level, if he's not contacting him, then he's not over it, and not wanting you in his life. Be respectful of his choice and move on.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 31, 2011 7:15 PM GMT
    Honestly I don't think any of us can answer the question without you describing some of your conversations. Did he show interest in you as just a friend? Or was there more to it? Even if it was just as friends there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
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    May 31, 2011 7:24 PM GMT
    OMG... he was crying in the corner what is he 7 years old probably not cause I don't think seven year old boys do that. I wouldn't apologize the both of you met and didn't hit off and you his friend did. He will get over it..THAT'S LIFE
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    May 31, 2011 7:37 PM GMT
    no matter what other people's opinions are on this forum the fact of the matter is the guy you talked to online for 3 months is upset. He thinks it was wrong of you - whether any of us on here think it's right or wrong means nothing unless you are looking for reassurance for your actions. If you like him as much as you say you do then ya you better find a way to make it up to him. But you can't force it - if he's not responding and not contacting you then that means he is not interested. You moved on pretty quickly the night you met him so I'm assuming you can do it again.
  • joncfernan

    Posts: 216

    May 31, 2011 7:52 PM GMT
    Not gonna judge you like some here. You're asking for advice and thats all.
    If you still feel something for the guy and want to take it somewhere - go with it - theres nothing you HAVE to do to make it up to him - you guys never had anything in the first place. Sorry - but internet romance without meeting is just that: internet romance. You apologized, yeah you screwed up - but only because it was a friend of his - not because of anything else. Regardless of whatever you do - accept what you did and just move on. You don't owe him anything and neither does he. Sounds harsh, but theres nothing you could do at this moment unless you want to start a relationship with a basis of guilt.
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    May 31, 2011 8:00 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI assume by your original post, the friend you met online was crying in the hallway and not the dude with whom you had sex.

    He isn't your boyfriend, he's an acquaintance.. or maybe a little more.
    You apologized and talked about it. Move on... if he doesn't, don't feel guilty.
    If you do get past it and he seems upset, assure him, but don't beat yourself up... I don't think you did anything wrong.


    I agree. Seriously, if some guy is bawling his eye out in the corner of the hall after just meeting you for the first time, I think it's a sign from the universe that you just dodged a very dramatic bullet.
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    May 31, 2011 8:08 PM GMT
    kalvinosaurus said
    HndsmKansan saidI assume by your original post, the friend you met online was crying in the hallway and not the dude with whom you had sex.

    He isn't your boyfriend, he's an acquaintance.. or maybe a little more.
    You apologized and talked about it. Move on... if he doesn't, don't feel guilty.
    If you do get past it and he seems upset, assure him, but don't beat yourself up... I don't think you did anything wrong.


    I agree. Seriously, if some guy is bawling his eye out in the corner of the hall after just meeting you for the first time, I think it's a sign from the universe that you just dodged a very dramatic bullet.


    I disagree. I don't know the context in which they were speaking, I assume they were talking a great deal (because most sane people who meet guys online talk a great deal before meeting up) and was digging you, and thought there was a possiblity of something down the road, then he finds out you fucked his friend, he has the right to be emotional.
  • TheAlchemixt

    Posts: 2294

    May 31, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    If you want to make it up to him then you have to fuck him harder than you did the first guy. Make sure he is in pain.
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    May 31, 2011 9:49 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidno matter what other people's opinions are on this forum the fact of the matter is the guy you talked to online for 3 months is upset. He thinks it was wrong of you - whether any of us on here think it's right or wrong means nothing unless you are looking for reassurance for your actions. If you like him as much as you say you do then ya you better find a way to make it up to him. But you can't force it - if he's not responding and not contacting you then that means he is not interested. You moved on pretty quickly the night you met him so I'm assuming you can do it again.


    ^^^^^
    This seems to me the right answer.

    After spending hours and hours in a 3 month period texting and online chatting you should have been a little more loyal to him on the first meeting.
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    Jun 01, 2011 6:56 PM GMT
    You should have sex with all his friends so the bastard will know what he was missing! icon_lol.gif