do you guys look for muscle guys only

  • kjm1990

    Posts: 209

    Apr 12, 2008 12:04 AM GMT
    ok so do u muscle guys only look for other muscle guys like u an over look guys liek me,or do i have a chance.im working on my body but its goindg to take a wile.

    when ever im at a club they over look me,or there fine till they see i aint gota 6 pack
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    Apr 12, 2008 12:08 AM GMT
    overlook guys like you...whining and lack of discipline and character so often accompany a flabby gut...oh so, just keeping on moving and try not to make eye contact
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 12, 2008 12:26 AM GMT
    Why shouldn't an athletic guy only date/sleep with other athletics guys? Why should they work their asses off, hours and hours a week, while their partner sits on the couch in front of the tv eating junk food?
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    Apr 12, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    spook911 saidOh man shawn

    I don't date a 6 pack

    I date a man...the whole man ,inside and out


    So do I ...cuz I havent figured out how to just get the 6-pack without the rest .... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 12, 2008 12:41 AM GMT
    I know, my post sounds really shallow. For once I thought I'd not post my usual looooong, boring, blah blah blah, just get to your point, posts.

    I have an active lifestyle, I spend a lot of time in the gym, I like reading, watching documentaries, debating religion and other hot topics, etc. etc. and look for guys with similar interests. Differences keep things interesting, but I wouldn't be physically attracted to, or stimulated by a guy that doesn't like being active, hates reading, and only watches cartoons.
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    Apr 12, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
    ShawnTO saidI know, my post sounds really shallow. For once I thought I'd not post my usual looooong, boring, blah blah blah, just get to your point, posts.

    I have an active lifestyle, I spend a lot of time in the gym, I like reading, watching documentaries, debating religion and other hot topics, etc. etc. and look for guys with similar interests. Differences keep things interesting, but I wouldn't be physically attracted to, or stimulated by a guy that doesn't like being active, hates reading, and only watches cartoons.


    Oh, Shawn, dont take such a sanctimonious response seriously.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Apr 12, 2008 1:03 AM GMT
    Yeah, I suppose I shouldn't, but my need for writing a longer post won out, hehe.
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    Apr 12, 2008 1:13 AM GMT
    Muscular guys no, active and fit guys yes. I must admit I lose my sexual interest quickly if a guy is of "generous proportions". I hate watching TV (except for sports and "Desperate Housewives") so I am always looking for ways of stimulating my mind and body.
  • TexanMan82

    Posts: 893

    Apr 12, 2008 1:13 AM GMT
    I workout a lot and try to eat a very clean diet. I would expect a lot of the same from my partner. I'm not saying you have to have a perfect body, no one has that. Some come close, I know...

    But, I still expect someone to go on hikes, runs, etc..
    They don't have to be gym rats (bunnies), but they do need to have an active lifestyle.
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    Apr 12, 2008 1:13 AM GMT
    spook911 saidI just asked caslon for a date.
    I did tell him that I don't have a 6 pack
    we will see...


    ...and I quite diplomatically finessed the situation/set up ... icon_biggrin.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2008 1:48 AM GMT
    My bf doesn't have a six pack or athletic (and even smoked when I met him) and he still got the 4 hour attack on the second date.
  • kjm1990

    Posts: 209

    Apr 12, 2008 2:00 AM GMT
    i work out 4 times a week i dont sit on the couch an eat shit thanks!

    i ment guys who are starting out or been working out for less then a year.

    im 80kg,6ft4 but no 6 pak or huge riped pecs yet,what are my chances of finding a decent guy.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 12, 2008 2:06 AM GMT
    commodoreboi saidi work out 4 times a week i dont sit on the couch an eat shit thanks!

    i ment guys who are starting out or been working out for less then a year.

    im 80kg,6ft4 but no 6 pak or huge riped pecs yet,what are my chances of finding a decent guy.



    Nobody implied you sit on any couch and eat less than desirable food.

    For me attitude is far more important than how ripped you are. I like people with positive attitudes and a burning desire to improve. How do you rate in that department?
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Apr 12, 2008 3:32 AM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidMy bf doesn't have a six pack or athletic (and even smoked when I met him) and he still got the 4 hour attack on the second date.


    Got the 4-hour attack? Nice, don't be surprised if you catch me using that one.
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    Apr 12, 2008 4:06 AM GMT
    Muscles are nice, but not necessary. As someone above said, being fit is necessary, because I like to, you know, DO stuff.

    Plus my dogs had better like him, or he's toast.
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    Apr 12, 2008 4:14 AM GMT
    Oh, I don't know... I don't have an amazing body but rather normal. I'm not overweight and I'm not muscle... I think I'm OK icon_biggrin.gif
    My ex was a muscle ... and he was ok with me not being one. I mean, he liked me anyway.
    And I think this is not only about the muscles. Looks is a very sensitive topic to many people - they think they're ugly=> nobody would like them=> lower self esteem => nobody really likes them.

    I'm sorry, but I can't date some loser guy, who says he's ugly 24/7. You gotta have some pride - that's a pretty big turn on too ;)
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    Apr 12, 2008 4:18 AM GMT
    commodoreboi saidok so do u muscle guys only look for other muscle guys like u an over look guys liek me,or do i have a chance.im working on my body but its goindg to take a wile.

    when ever im at a club they over look me,or there fine till they see i aint gota 6 pack


    you are forever belittling yourself...work with what you have and keep working towards that ultimate goal. There is someone out there for everyone!


    icon_rolleyes.gif

    sorry...I'm in a bit of a cynical mood b/c I am studying for the the damn MCAT, getting my med school list together, and finishing up app essays for this upcoming cycle...the consequence = a bit stressed and ready to take it out on someone else

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    Apr 12, 2008 4:21 AM GMT
    You don't have to be ripped or studly, but just the desire to improve yourself to where you are comfortable with your body. Have goals and adhere to them. Mental is more important than physical. Strive to improve!!!! That's what is important to me.
  • asupas

    Posts: 234

    Apr 12, 2008 4:22 AM GMT
    Commmore - it sounds like you are the one that is only interested in the six pack/muscled guys. Otherwise, why ask that question?

    Just a thought.
  • bradsmith

    Posts: 175

    Apr 12, 2008 4:55 AM GMT
    Nope, if the guy doesn't have a six-pack, we stop and pick one up on the way home.
    icon_wink.gif

    I've found that guys usually get the guys they deserve...so don't worry about it...someone's gonna drop in your lap sooner or later...it's just up to you to figure out when that happens.

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    Apr 12, 2008 5:02 AM GMT
    Its more about confidence. It also helps if a guy takes care of himself.
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    Apr 12, 2008 5:07 AM GMT
    bradsmith saidNope, if the guy doesn't have a six-pack, we stop and pick one up on the way home.
    icon_wink.gif

    I've found that guys usually get the guys they deserve...so don't worry about it...someone's gonna drop in your lap sooner or later...it's just up to you to figure out when that happens.



    That must be why I'm single.

    Drop in my lap, huh. Please. That's what people say to make themselves feel good about being single. S*** like that doesn't happen in real life. You work to make things happen. Do jobs drop into your lap? No. Do advanced degrees drop in to your lap? I wish! Why should dating (or anything for that matter) be any different? You want something, you go out and figure out how to get it.

    Damn... did i just flame you? hehe sorry, this topic gets me in a sensitive spot. I've just heard that line a bunch of times and I don't believe in coddling people.

    To address the original question, I don't exclusively date muscle-dudes. A lot of what I find attractive is attitude, confidence, and intelligence. Don't mistake confidence for cockiness, which I find absolutely detestable and unattractive. Nothing turns me on more than a hot guy who is shy and modest. Well... maybe a hot guy who is shy and modest and smart and a great kisser.... ok i'm gonna be over here with my body pillow...
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    Apr 12, 2008 6:09 AM GMT
    Wish I could say that some of the sentiments I've read in this thread were eye-opening, but in going on 30 years of being an openly gay man I've observed that most gay men equate the quantitative elements of a man with the qualitative ones. That is to say, many of us judge and are judged by the numbers. You've got to have the right number of inches...can't have too many in some places and too few in others. Pity that so often the measure of a man is made with a ruler.

    Of course, that cuts both ways. I met a guy a number of years ago that based on what I've seen in hot lists would make the great majority of men on this site drool. He was into bearish men and in fact when I met him learned that my belly wasn't nearly big enough to be attractive to him. So for every type in the world there's someone who likes them. Leo Buscaglia used to say that you shouldn't fret if you've got fat thighs. Find yourself a fat thigh lover.

    If you don't have it within yourself to be comfortable with the man you are, no matter how you look on the outside, it's hard to get others to see you as attractive. Sure, everybody wants to be admired. But if you're undertaking change it's best to do it so you can be proud of yourself and not because it's what you think will earn you the respect and attention of people who don't seem to be able to look much more deeply.

    Someone else asked why guys who are in great shape shouldn't be entitled to make themselves available only to others in comparably good shape. Truth is, they can pick and choose as they wish. It's their right.

    I'm just glad I'm not in the dating pool. The best of me is yet to come. If I was looking to date at this point in my life, I would probably flip that policy around a little bit. Anybody who wouldn't give me the time of day before getting into top shape wouldn't get very far if they waited until after I reached their standards to notice who I am. Why should I reward someone who discounted and disregarded me previously with the results of so many hours of hard labor?

    Fitness is a good thing, to be sure. But a body is a surface. Nothing more. A body is something I have. It's not who I am. And I've seen plenty of outwardly beautiful men who revealed in their attitudes that a surface seems to be all they've got going for them. I hope that works out for them since nobody's shell stays flawless forever.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Apr 12, 2008 6:26 AM GMT
    Not sure if it's an attraction to "muscle" per se as just an attraction to a health & fitness-minded lifestyle that generally shows. I like guys who take care of themselves, and just relate better to guys who are athletic and like sports. Just a preference.
  • kjm1990

    Posts: 209

    Apr 12, 2008 6:34 AM GMT
    muscles are hot but i find you kinda guys scary i was abused as a kid so now i kinda have fears i get shy easly etc.

    i dont wanna date a ugly guy but they aint got be the hottest guy in tha world,im lookin 4 more of a lover that will hug me in public,will got 2 gym wit me,watch movies with me makes me laugh an makes me smile.