I had dinner with jake benson ^__^

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    May 31, 2011 6:05 AM GMT
    Jake and I had thai food. Then we met up with Jake's friend. His friend was cool and we chilled and got drinks. Then they went clubbing and I went to Duane Read to buy some organic gummy bears. it was a fun evening.

    <3 jake and <3 jake's friend.
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    May 31, 2011 7:13 AM GMT
    Ahhh, reading this made me smile icon_smile.gif I hope we can hang out again during the day.

    And if by clubbing you mean standing outside the clubs on the sidewalk having (a very intellectual and non fanatical) debate about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict for hours then yah that was fun. lol...and funny I ended up going to Duane Reade...but all I bought was water.
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    May 31, 2011 1:33 PM GMT
    I had dinner with Jake Benson also. He didn't know it, and is only finding out now. I sat alone in the restaurant 2 tables behind him so that he wouldn't know I was watching him. Every time he took a bite, I took a bite from my plate. Every time I saw him smile, I laughed a little as if he'd told me a joke. Later that night, I followed him home. I watched him through his bedroom window. When he started to undress, I started to undress myself, touching here and there. Someone else was there though, someone in his bedroom. When JB started undressing the stranger, my eyes filled with rage. I knew what I had to do...

    I knocked on his neighbor's door, and told the man who answered that my car had broken down a bit down the road, pointing to a parked car on the curb side. I asked if I could use his phone to make a call, as my cell had died earlier that day. "Sure," he said, and let me enter. I quickly scanned pictures and saw he did not have any kids. There was a woman next to him in several photos; his wife of course.
    "Is this your wife?"
    "Yeah, 4 years now."
    "Congratulations. You two look really happy together."

    "Here you go," he told me, as he handed me a cordless phone. I tossed it up a couple of inches, checking the weight of it. It was close to 2 pounds; perfect. I reared back and smashed the phone into the side of the man's head. When he stumbled backwards, I punched him twice in the throat until he hit the ground. I pulled out a knife and held it to the man's adam's apple.

    "After tonight, you'll love your wife even more." I turned the man onto his stomach and straddled his waist. I used the knife to cut through the man's jeans and boxers, and unbuttoned myself. I grabbed the back of the man's hair and reared his head back, digging the knife into the man's throat, making the tiniest cut into the skin.
    "If you say another fucking word, it'll be your last."

    I inserted myself and began to pump the tight, virgin ass of my new fuck hole. Within minutes the adrenaline was enough to make me shoot my load into the hot ass of my new Jake Benson. I tucked myself away and pressed my boot into the back of the man's neck.
    "Now then, do you miss your wife?"
    "Please don't kill me."
    "That's not what I fucking asked!"
    "Yes"
    "YES SIR!" I yelled, digging the sole of my Wesco into my toy's spine.
    "Yes Sir..."
    "You tell anyone about this, and she's next."

    I turned and walked away, closing the door behind me. As I was walking away down the street, I made one last glance into JB's window to see the light out.
    "Thanks for the lovely time Jake; we'll have to do this again sometime."

    And that was my date with Jake Benson.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 31, 2011 1:44 PM GMT
    dekiruman saidJake and I had thai food. Then we met up with Jake's friend. His friend was cool and we chilled and got drinks. Then they went clubbing and I went to Duane Read to buy some organic gummy bears. it was a fun evening.

    <3 jake and <3 jake's friend.
    who is jake benson?
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    May 31, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    When I was walking down the stair,
    I met Jake Benson who's never there.

    He wasn't there again today
    I wish Jake Benson would go away.

    My stairs are so narrow.
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    May 31, 2011 1:54 PM GMT
    dekiruman saidI had dinner with jake benson ^__^
    You poor soul. You have my condolences. icon_razz.gif
  • Poolboy44

    Posts: 54

    May 31, 2011 1:56 PM GMT
    I'm glad you're happy. So going out in NYC was fun then?
  • McLukas

    Posts: 33

    May 31, 2011 2:26 PM GMT
    Whats an organic gummy bear? Do they grow them on an all natural diet?
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    May 31, 2011 2:31 PM GMT
    McLukas saidWhats an organic gummy bear? Do they grow them on an all natural diet?
    It's a live miniature bear with real internal organs but no spine, therefore it's gummy.
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    May 31, 2011 2:37 PM GMT
    tuffguyndc said who is jake benson?

    JB82 in this thread.

    226721_780847.jpg
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    May 31, 2011 2:38 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    McLukas saidWhats an organic gummy bear? Do they grow them on an all natural diet?
    It's a live miniature bear with real internal organs but no spine, therefore it's gummy.

    Oh, like a bear fetus?
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    May 31, 2011 3:09 PM GMT
    Pyrotech saidI had dinner with Jake Benson also. He didn't know it, and is only finding out now. ......And that was my date with Jake Benson.


    Waaauuuuuuuwwwww...
    omg-wtf.jpg
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    May 31, 2011 3:10 PM GMT
    Pyrotech saidI had dinner with Jake Benson also. He didn't know it, and is only finding out now. I sat alone in the restaurant 2 tables behind him so that he wouldn't know I was watching him. Every time he took a bite, I took a bite from my plate. Every time I saw him smile, I laughed a little as if he'd told me a joke. Later that night, I followed him home. I watched him through his bedroom window. When he started to undress, I started to undress myself, touching here and there. Someone else was there though, someone in his bedroom. When JB started undressing the stranger, my eyes filled with rage. I knew what I had to do...

    I knocked on his neighbor's door, and told the man who answered that my car had broken down a bit down the road, pointing to a parked car on the curb side. I asked if I could use his phone to make a call, as my cell had died earlier that day. "Sure," he said, and let me enter. I quickly scanned pictures and saw he did not have any kids. There was a woman next to him in several photos; his wife of course.
    "Is this your wife?"
    "Yeah, 4 years now."
    "Congratulations. You two look really happy together."

    "Here you go," he told me, as he handed me a cordless phone. I tossed it up a couple of inches, checking the weight of it. It was close to 2 pounds; perfect. I reared back and smashed the phone into the side of the man's head. When he stumbled backwards, I punched him twice in the throat until he hit the ground. I pulled out a knife and held it to the man's adam's apple.

    "After tonight, you'll love your wife even more." I turned the man onto his stomach and straddled his waist. I used the knife to cut through the man's jeans and boxers, and unbuttoned myself. I grabbed the back of the man's hair and reared his head back, digging the knife into the man's throat, making the tiniest cut into the skin.
    "If you say another fucking word, it'll be your last."

    I inserted myself and began to pump the tight, virgin ass of my new fuck hole. Within minutes the adrenaline was enough to make me shoot my load into the hot ass of my new Jake Benson. I tucked myself away and pressed my boot into the back of the man's neck.
    "Now then, do you miss your wife?"
    "Please don't kill me."
    "That's not what I fucking asked!"
    "Yes"
    "YES SIR!" I yelled, digging the sole of my Wesco into my toy's spine.
    "Yes Sir..."
    "You tell anyone about this, and she's next."

    I turned and walked away, closing the door behind me. As I was walking away down the street, I made one last glance into JB's window to see the light out.
    "Thanks for the lovely time Jake; we'll have to do this again sometime."

    And that was my date with Jake Benson.


    This is kind of fucked up funny. Ps when you do have dinner with Jake benson make sure that it costs less than 30 bucks or this thread will suffer.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 31, 2011 3:23 PM GMT
    well one time jake benson punched me in the face... it was awesome
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    May 31, 2011 3:25 PM GMT
    I seen Jake Benson at Burger King. He ordered two cheeseburgers and onion rings. He got a chocolate shake, a side of fries, chicken strips and apple pie.
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    May 31, 2011 3:34 PM GMT
    The fantasy story is better than the reality.
    http://images.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1436&bih=727&q=jake+benson&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=g1&aql=&oq=
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    May 31, 2011 3:39 PM GMT
    I seen Jake Benson at jc penny
    he rolled up in a 94' chevvy
    he screached into the handicappa applyin chapstick
    with his b phone in his lap
    he says
    can you watch my car
    I gotta run in and buy a quick
    sumthin' for me and my man
    I said i can
    but you still owe me ten duckits
    he rolled his eyes and says fuck it.


    I seen Jake Benson at the liquor store
    he completely ignored me walkin thru the door
    he had his freakum dress on
    from the house of deréon
    he was pattin his weave ladies
    with his palm
    he was lookin round for some customer service
    I walked up to him made his security nervous
    he said
    how much for a case of beer?
    I said girl are you drunk?!
    I DON'T WORK HERE
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    May 31, 2011 3:40 PM GMT
    Jake, aren't you sorry you missed Pyrotech's visit?
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    May 31, 2011 3:56 PM GMT
    Timbales saidI seen Jake Benson at Burger King. He ordered two cheeseburgers and onion rings. He got a chocolate shake, a side of fries, chicken strips and apple pie.


    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gifAre you sure about that???

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 31, 2011 4:03 PM GMT
    waimea said
    Timbales saidI seen Jake Benson at Burger King. He ordered two cheeseburgers and onion rings. He got a chocolate shake, a side of fries, chicken strips and apple pie.


    icon_eek.gificon_eek.gifAre you sure about that???



    positive

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    May 31, 2011 4:48 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    May 31, 2011 4:49 PM GMT
    Lemme guess --- you were able to get a meal under $30????? icon_lol.gif
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    May 31, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    Oh Jake , take me out for dinner.....But I want $30 plus , because thats how I roll!! icon_cool.gificon_cool.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 31, 2011 4:52 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidLemme guess --- you were able to get a meal under $30????? icon_lol.gif


    You beat me to it! icon_lol.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 31, 2011 4:53 PM GMT
    Cool. I wanna do that.