Little to no interest

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:02 AM GMT
    So outside of work I'm kinda shy and timmid. So generally, out in the real world and online people pay little to no interest in me. There are some people, but they generally tend to be not my type. I don't think I'm being overly selective. I just wish I could grab guys attention a bit more (and keep it), just not quite sure how. icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:08 AM GMT
    Stop being so self conscious and just be happy with yourself. A lack of confidence shows to everyone around you, and people don't generally like other people with a lack of confidence.

    You are who you are and you're unique just the way you are.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:13 AM GMT

    Perhaps if you weren't so "overly selective" and accepted friendship for just what it is, you might just open your self up to a whole new world. But if you are just waiting for the perfect guy to send you a message....well, let us know how that turns out, OK???
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:16 AM GMT
    Try some kind of volunteer community service so that you are there for some purpose. Meeting and talking to people occurs in the course of addressing that mission, whatever it might be. For instance if you volunteer at an animal shelter you will be there to walk dogs and clean kennels, as will the other volunteers. You will have topics of conversation come up naturally in the course of these duties and thus get more practice in casual conversation.


    As opposed to going to a club where the main purpose is to impress others and try to meet them, it kinda puts a guy on the spot to try force conversation, especially over the loud music.


    [ edited for readability ]
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:18 AM GMT
    Not really sure how to parse that last post, I haven't had much of a response from people interested in friendship either. I guess I'm just the kinda guy who needs to be introduced through mutual acquaintances I guess.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:23 AM GMT
    Yeah I'm dealing with the same thing right now... It's hard trying to not be timid. icon_sad.gif It's a tough mental thing to break, and not caring what people think is definitely easier said than done... Good luck. icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:25 AM GMT

    Does this sound familiar??

    "I have a big heart, broad shoulders and an open mind. If you would like to chat, please let me know.
    Please understand I only do this out of concern for you... I am NOT hitting on you and certainly would never impose myself on you in any way.
    I DO hope you will read this...and KNOW that there are people out there who care.
    I'm someone who knows what it takes to be a true friend."
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:29 AM GMT
    I'm thinking you're probably getting more attention than you're aware of. You're not the only one who's shy. Lot's of people are shy and those who aren't, still don't like being rejected. So people just look and keep going because no one want's to get hurt. I'm also guessing that many people interpret your shyness for aloofness. The two are difficult to separate sometimes.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:33 AM GMT
    Friendsrbetter said
    Does this sound familiar??

    "I have a big heart, broad shoulders and an open mind. If you would like to chat, please let me know.
    Please understand I only do this out of concern for you... I am NOT hitting on you and certainly would never impose myself on you in any way.
    I DO hope you will read this...and KNOW that there are people out there who care.
    I'm someone who knows what it takes to be a true friend."
    Not sure when that was sent, if it was any time after the 27th of feb I apologize, my mother passed away and I was a bit lost at the time.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:36 AM GMT

    It was exactly one month ago today...and it was in response to a thread you started about your mom.
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    Jun 05, 2011 4:42 AM GMT
    I just say hi and go from there. I have plenty of confidence in myself so its not really an issue of not caring what other people so much as feeling sorry for them if they say something asinine icon_razz.gif
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    Jun 05, 2011 5:28 AM GMT
    MikeInSLC saidNot really sure how to parse that last post, I haven't had much of a response from people interested in friendship either. I guess I'm just the kinda guy who needs to be introduced through mutual acquaintances I guess.


    I'm the same way, I can never meet anyone on my own. I rely to be introduced to other guys through friends. (bad I know) but its what works for me right now. icon_confused.gif
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    Jun 05, 2011 6:49 AM GMT
    Trevium20 saidStop being so self conscious and just be happy with yourself. A lack of confidence shows to everyone around you, and people don't generally like other people with a lack of confidence.

    You are who you are and you're unique just the way you are.



    Perfect answer ...icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2011 8:06 PM GMT
    Yeah it is a good answer. I just haven't had anyone to lean on for a while, it can be rough.
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    Jun 05, 2011 8:11 PM GMT
    Mike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!
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    Jun 05, 2011 9:01 PM GMT
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!


    You could be the nicest, smartest and funniest guy and all of that but if you don't look like 90% of the half naked profiles on here, you will get no where. Not a single message. Not a single reply. Not a single post on any topic you had created. Nothing. Nada. Nicht.

    Now, if he looked like MSHEA he will get a million comments in his inbox., a meaningless 100 million page thread., and MOTD within 72 hours of signing in. Without even contributing anything on the forums or without being verified. Hell, he would even get replies to any stupid post he would made on the stupidest thread you could find here.

    OP; Don't worry about it. is their lost. Do you really want to be with someone from RJ? There are a few exceptions here., but most are not worth it.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jun 05, 2011 9:10 PM GMT
    ESCESV said
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!

    You could be the nicest, smartest and funniest guy and all of that but if you don't look like 90% of the half naked profiles on here, you will get no where. Not a single message. Not a single reply. Not a single post on any topic you had created. Nothing. Nada. Nicht.

    Now, if he looked like MSHEA he will get a million comments in his inbox., a meaningless 100 million page thread., and MOTD within 72 hours of signing in. Without even contributing anything on the forums or without being verified. Hell, he would even get replies to any stupid post he would made on the stupidest thread you could find here.

    OP; Don't worry about it. is their lost. Do you really want to be with someone from RJ? There are a few exceptions here., but most are not worth it.

    Unfortunately, ESCESV is correct. Anyone that pretends that 90% of people don't act this way is deluded. I've seen RealJockers treat genetically gifted dudes like kings, slurping up any forum post, no matter how smart or stupid, with grand reverence. Too scared to offer them any criticism that might lead to loss of favor with the man-god.

    Just as long as people recognize this and don't pretend it doesn't happen, fine. But I'm sure those will find what I have just said offensive.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2011 9:13 PM GMT
    Studinprogress said
    ESCESV said
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!




    Unfortunately, ESCESV is correct. Anyone that pretends that 90% of people don't act this way is deluded. I've seen RealJockers treat genetically gifted dudes like kings, slurping up any forum post and treating their posts, no matter how smart or stupid, with grand reverence and respect. Just as long as people recognize this and don't pretend it doesn't happen, fine. But I'm sure those will find what I have just said offensive.


    You don't consider yourself genetically gifted? Looks like you have a great body to me icon_smile.gif Also looks like you could easily put on more muscle if you ever wanted to.
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Jun 05, 2011 9:19 PM GMT
    MikeInSLC said
    Studinprogress said
    ESCESV said
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.
    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!

    Unfortunately, ESCESV is correct. Anyone that pretends that 90% of people don't act this way is deluded. I've seen RealJockers treat genetically gifted dudes like kings, slurping up any forum post and treating their posts, no matter how smart or stupid, with grand reverence and respect. Just as long as people recognize this and don't pretend it doesn't happen, fine. But I'm sure those will find what I have just said offensive.

    You don't consider yourself genetically gifted? Looks like you have a great body to me icon_smile.gif Also looks like you could easily put on more muscle if you ever wanted to.

    Oh, don't misunderstand; I consider myself fortunate looking. It's just something I have noticed: that people tend to act hypocritically around good-looking people.
  • KissTheSky

    Posts: 1980

    Jun 05, 2011 9:21 PM GMT
    MikeInSLC saidSo outside of work I'm kinda shy and timmid. So generally, out in the real world and online people pay little to no interest in me. There are some people, but they generally tend to be not my type. I don't think I'm being overly selective. I just wish I could grab guys attention a bit more (and keep it), just not quite sure how. icon_confused.gif


    I think this is pretty common for guys your age (whether gay or straight). As people get a little older and figure out who they are, they get more confident and social interactions get easier... I'm sure they same thing will happen with you. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2011 9:30 PM GMT
    Studinprogress said
    ESCESV said
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!

    You could be the nicest, smartest and funniest guy and all of that but if you don't look like 90% of the half naked profiles on here, you will get no where. Not a single message. Not a single reply. Not a single post on any topic you had created. Nothing. Nada. Nicht.

    Now, if he looked like MSHEA he will get a million comments in his inbox., a meaningless 100 million page thread., and MOTD within 72 hours of signing in. Without even contributing anything on the forums or without being verified. Hell, he would even get replies to any stupid post he would made on the stupidest thread you could find here.

    OP; Don't worry about it. is their lost. Do you really want to be with someone from RJ? There are a few exceptions here., but most are not worth it.

    Unfortunately, ESCESV is correct. Anyone that pretends that 90% of people don't act this way is deluded. I've seen RealJockers treat genetically gifted dudes like kings, slurping up any forum post, no matter how smart or stupid, with grand reverence. Too scared to offer them any criticism that might lead to loss of favor with the man-god.

    Just as long as people recognize this and don't pretend it doesn't happen, fine. But I'm sure those will find what I have just said offensive.


    absolutely true. as you pointed out, though, most people here are too dense to realize they are even doing that and will vociferously defend or justify their actions. also true, is that these same people who worship these great looking guys would then turn around and complain when others would ignore them when they lack the "look." hypocrisy at its greatest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 05, 2011 9:48 PM GMT
    atl2atx85 said
    Studinprogress said
    ESCESV said
    vincent7 saidMike in SLC, when I see your picture I think how cute and innocent, and wish I were 20 years old again.

    SERIOUSLY RJ MEMBERS, pay some attention to this nice boy!

    You could be the nicest, smartest and funniest guy and all of that but if you don't look like 90% of the half naked profiles on here, you will get no where. Not a single message. Not a single reply. Not a single post on any topic you had created. Nothing. Nada. Nicht.

    Now, if he looked like MSHEA he will get a million comments in his inbox., a meaningless 100 million page thread., and MOTD within 72 hours of signing in. Without even contributing anything on the forums or without being verified. Hell, he would even get replies to any stupid post he would made on the stupidest thread you could find here.

    OP; Don't worry about it. is their lost. Do you really want to be with someone from RJ? There are a few exceptions here., but most are not worth it.

    Unfortunately, ESCESV is correct. Anyone that pretends that 90% of people don't act this way is deluded. I've seen RealJockers treat genetically gifted dudes like kings, slurping up any forum post, no matter how smart or stupid, with grand reverence. Too scared to offer them any criticism that might lead to loss of favor with the man-god.

    Just as long as people recognize this and don't pretend it doesn't happen, fine. But I'm sure those will find what I have just said offensive.


    absolutely true. as you pointed out, though, most people here are too dense to realize they are even doing that and will vociferously defend or justify their actions. also true, is that these same people who worship these great looking guys would then turn around and complain when others would ignore them when they lack the "look." hypocrisy at its greatest.


    ^^^Agreed. I think the OP is selective.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2011 10:14 PM GMT
    I'm the same way dude but I learned that sometimes, I need to put myself out there even when I'm scared to do so. Like for example, if I were at a concert seeing my favorite band play, I would feel more relaxed in socializing with people because I know I have something in common with them which is music. So I think you should go out and do an activity you love or enjoy because then it makes talking to people a little more comfortable then say, going to like a bar or club or something. That's my opinion anyway.

    But trust me, I was really shy at first. I just learned that I had to open myself up more at times and while I may not get the biggest attention, I'm satisfied with just being a bit more outgoing in the end.

    And for your other question about the "type" thing. There's nothing wrong with liking what you like but if you stay to it and not try to open up to others who aren't your type, it'll be hard to find people to talk to and such. Just because they aren't your "type" doesn't mean they can't be a friend you know?

    Just try and be a bit more open. Trust me, you'll feel better about yourself. Hang in there dude. ;)
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Jun 06, 2011 11:18 PM GMT
    Dude....Don't be some fake to grab attention...attention whores are a turn off....Be yourself...personally I think shy is cute and I'm assuming other guys feel the same way...Shy types tend to be real...not cocky....Ya gotta love that ....BUD