When he's just not that into you...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 06, 2011 3:01 AM GMT

    So i want to start by apologizing to anybody that tends to get offended by repeat forum posts (i haven't seen anything like this personally)...


    I've been trying to date a bit more recently. I've been successful in getting dates, but not so much with the dates themselves. I don't know if it's that i'm picky with the types of personalities i mesh with, but i haven't really felt anything for my last few dates.

    My question is, how do you tell a guy you're not into them? I know i'll get a lot of responses saying "it's better to be honest right away," etc... but that's easier said than done. I either need examples of that or something different. I think the reason it's hard for me is because i'm usually the guy in their position. I don't want to let them down.

    ...OR we can look at it from the other way. What would YOU want to be told if you liked a guy and he didn't like you?

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    Jun 06, 2011 3:09 AM GMT
    Davis510 said
    What would YOU want to be told if you liked a guy and he didn't like you?


    I'd want to be told the truth. He doesn't have to even give a reason. If there's nothing there, there's nothing there. Just don't avoid me or stop taking my calls/returning texts.
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    Jun 06, 2011 3:17 AM GMT
    I've learned to read body language, verbal and non-verbal cues.

    I also make the assumption they're not into me...unless they communicate otherwise.
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    Jun 06, 2011 9:35 PM GMT
    ."..OR we can look at it from the other way. What would YOU want to be told if you liked a guy and he didn't like you?"

    I honestly would want him to tell me the truth. That he isn't into me. Sure it may hurt but I'd rather hear it so I can get over it. I agree with PowerFade, especially with the "Just don't avoid me or stop taking my calls/returning texts".

    To answer your other part. If I was dating someone I felt nothing for, I would probably tell them near the end of the date. I think it's not right to lie to your date. But that's just me.
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    Jun 06, 2011 9:39 PM GMT
    Here is what I do.

    If I went on 2 or more dates with a guy and it wasnt going anywhere, I tend to be a big pussy and avoid them for a while (twice).

    If after the 2nd time of avoiding them they still contact me, I will outright tell them that Im just not that into them.

    If after me telling them Im just not that into them, if they continue to contact me, I will ignore them outright.

    The reason why I use the rule of 2 is because shit happens. Sometimes I like a guy and for one reason or another I cant set a date at that time, so I brush it off. the second time they ask me out I will usually say yes.

    I find that most guys get the hint, others dont. And yes, after telling a guy Im not that into him, I still get contacts from him from time to time. Frustrating.

    As for contacting guys, I generally go with the rule of 2. After the second time of me reaching out with no response/a rejection, I write a sad poem in my diary, and I move on.