Keeping the relationship healthy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2011 1:40 AM GMT
    Are you willing to invest in relationship counseling for you and your partner? Why or why not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 07, 2011 2:20 AM GMT
    I am lucky to have a best friend to talk to about my relationship when I've had problems/frustrations.

    My partner has a best friend also. They've been able to talk about his frustrations with me.

    The talks have worked. We're together and love each other more now than ever.
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    Jun 07, 2011 5:13 AM GMT
    Absolutely, if our relationship needed it. We are very, very important to each other. icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 07, 2011 11:56 AM GMT
    I think a professional outlet is extremely beneficial when needed... In the good times and bad times.
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    Jun 07, 2011 12:23 PM GMT
    I begged my ex to go, he refused saying counselors couldnt solve the problem. I told him, no we have to solve it, but he wouldnt even try.
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    Jun 07, 2011 12:56 PM GMT
    Well I know therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists so if I have a problem we just talk to each other and its free lol.

    But I considered formal relationship therapy for a long time and with my knowledge of therapy I kind of had an idea of what kind of problems are surmountable and what kind are not. In the case of my ex-boyfriend he has never been able to trust anyone, including his parents. That kind of problem that spans an entire lifetime isn't something that can be improved without a very long long process. I also dreaded attending therapy with him being a Harvard educated psychologist + my psych education and then trying to find someone we would both think was competent to help us lol. In the end, I recognized my declining happiness/satisfaction and knew it wouldn't last the time it would take for him to get better. I'm not entirely sure he could even acknowledge he had a problem, eitherway his lack of trust in me prevented him from saying either way.
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    Jun 07, 2011 1:22 PM GMT
    We tried for 2 years. In the end, it was best to end it.

    There is a book, Break up or break through. Try reading some of that.
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    Jun 07, 2011 2:06 PM GMT
    Didnt work for me and I did all the talking too. But then that was the problem
    I was always 75% of the relationship.
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    Jun 07, 2011 7:35 PM GMT
    I really don't believe in counselling, they're just trying to get your money rather than helping
  • kemoze

    Posts: 390

    Jun 07, 2011 7:55 PM GMT
    No one else can solve any problem between me and my ( future partner .. i dont have ) coz i cant take the risk of egaging someone in our relationship stuff, so it totally depends on me .,, if i really love him and he satisfies me so ( have to keep this in mind ,, NO ONE IS PERFECT ) so i would do anything to make it work..
    i will do my best to forgive him if he's done wrong to me .
    avoid anything that may bother him
    i would make a small party for him and make it as a surprise and try to renew our love and remind him of some of our nice moments and hard times as well..
    anyway .. it depends on you .. the counsellors dont know your partner as you do ,, believe me you are the only one who can make it work .. lol
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    Jun 07, 2011 8:00 PM GMT
    Save your money, RJ will help out. What's your dilemma?
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    Jun 07, 2011 10:11 PM GMT
    It seems that whether someone is for counseling or not, what seem to be the agent of change is people wanting the relationship to work, wanting happiness (if that means stay together or break up), and putting forth the necessary efforts toward change. Do what works for you and yours.
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    Jun 08, 2011 1:52 AM GMT
    If I were in a relationship and things were getting a bit unhealthy in a sense, I'd probably consider counseling or at least talking to a best/close friend about the issues.

    As for helping keep the relationship from getting to mundane and boring, I'd try to do something unexpected/surprising (within reason) for my mate to keep the relationship fresh and interesting but that's just me icon_smile.gif
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Jun 08, 2011 1:59 AM GMT
    I'd kill to have a relationship. What are you willing to do to maintain yours?